female only What my husbands see?

[Meldom03 10]

I meet my husband when I was at my largest. He likes big girls but I'm now afraid he won't be attracted to me once I really start to lose weight. I've only been banded for a month today with 20lbs down. People are starting to notice at work!! It feels great. He on the other hand has said nothing about my weight loss. He doesn't even ask how much I've lost. He did for the first week that's it. I think I'm in between a rock and a hard place. I want to be thin and healthy BUT I want to be attractive to my husband. What are your thought on this and how should I deal with my mental challenge?

[melodyj730 14]

Wow lol I have the same fear but then I realized he loves and is attracted to you the person who you are the way you look was only a means for him to get there

[melodyj730 14]

I've been banded two weeks I have lost 14 pounds yea people are starting to notice don't forget to take before pics good luck on your journey

[koolkel 80]

Same thing here! My boyfriend saw nothing wrong with my weight. He was not very supportive when I was still in the deciding stage but once I made up my mind, I clearly told him what I needed from him( to be positive, and that when I am whining about being sore or hungry, I needed him to say "Keep going-- you're almost there! And not "why the hell did you do this to yourself and I told you so!")

Spelling it out for him helped AND he has lost 40lbs since the end of November. He says he wants to be in shape too!

I am sure that your husband loves you, the person. Men sometimes have fears that their wife/GF will suddenly change and start to wander once they lose weight. Pay mucho attention to him so he knows that you are still attracted to him and keep getting healthy!!

[Meldom03 10]

I'm having my wedding photographer take monthly pic! I go next week!! I will be posting

[laurigee 545]

I would hope that your husband loves more about you than just your weight! LOL... When I got married I loved a man with a full head of hair, guess what???? I've been married to him for 22 years now and he started losing his hair about 10 years into our marriage! Crap happens! If your weight has caused health problems for you I can't see him caring about his weight preference before your health! I probably wouldn't obsess over the weight thing with him or give him reasons to feel insecure. When your in love with someone, thinking that person is attractive to you is so much more than looking at their outer physical appearance. I don't know if this helps, but I wish you and your husband the best!

[Sharpie 3,306]

Hopefully you discussed the surgery with your husband before you made the decision to proceed.. however, as an old married lady (37 years) I have learned a thing or two about men.. my husband used to be insanely jelous when I was young and 93 lbs.. so, he wasn't happy about me getting too much attention. I think part of my weight problem was because I wanted to not worry about him being jelous.. then I realized he would have to be the one to change not me.. I of course got older and more mature but I now have to lose weight for my health and he is very supportive.. you have to do what is good for you honey not what is good for him.. maybe he is afraid he will lose you if you get thin.. but that is his insecurity and hopefully he will realize that he will have to stop feeling afraid. good luck to you and I know you will do great....

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

i have been married 28+ years

he married me at my smallest and saw me at my highest last year at 336......

if someone loves you, they will love (all) of you...regardless of what the scale says

[Toddy 758]

We all have physical changes over the course of a long-term marriage. You have to love the person within! My husband loved me at my smallest and largest. I love him at his smallest and largest and even though he had a wonderful thick head of hair when we met, and now has almost none, doens't matter.. I love the man he has matured into over the years!!

[Banjo257 920]

I was checking your profile to admire your progress and I saw you are from MA. Me too! Easton. Not many on here from new england. Keep up the good work.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Keep with it. And sit hubby down for a heart to heart chat. Tell him your fears and listen to his. You both need to be on the same page... Right CG?

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

Keep with it. And sit hubby down for a heart to heart chat. Tell him your fears and listen to his. You both need to be on the same page... Right CG?

yes mam grammy

[kll724 3,055]

I agree with Grammy and with carolinagirl! I weighed about 118 when marring my hubby. I went up/down over the 44 years we have been together. Weight should not be about what he loves about you! Karen

(my highest was 255)