What was I thinking?

[Hedwig 0]

What was I thinking:confused: ? Now that I am up for being banded I regret telling people at school. I go to school for hair and it's a smaller school. I love almost all the girls there. it's like a family and we all know each others life stories. problem is I made a choice not to tell my family except for my mother. But at school I was talking with a couple girls and more started to pop up and ask questions:eek: . I am proud of the fact I want the band. I just don't want my family to worry and give me a hard time so I decided against telling them. but of course now everyone at school knows. they are all very positive and excited for me. but now I am worried that they are going to think I will be dropping weight like with a the gb. They are all thin I am the big girl of the school and I don't think they know the difference between the procedures. I feel silly worring about this but as of 8 weeks to my surgery the questions are just flying at me from everyone:faint: . has anyone told people they work with? And how did it work out for you. thanks all for reading my silly rant.

[Hedwig 0]

no one has these thoughts or experinces? anyone? anyone at all? Is this thing on? :eek:

[Vickie1177 0]

:eek: I told my coworkers and they are all very supportive. I am currently on my liquid diet and when lunch time comes I go to Panera bread and get my Soup and my fruit

They all join. Well they get the bread instead of the fruit. The owner of my company is also included in this. I do however work for a small company of 6 people. So that may have something to do with it :eek:

[3loves 0]

Wished I could offer help, but I'm a preband SAHM (stay at home mom). I am also telling anyone interested about getting the band. I've gotten a little grief from it (mostly my mother). That's O.K. though....I'm doing what is right for me. Perhaps you could tell them the there is not enough time to go over all the details and offer them a website like LBT, ObesityHelp.com, or Inamed.com.

~Good luck to you~

:biggrin1:

[Tttterri 0]

I have told more people than I feel I should have. I even planned a pool party in August to Celebrate my weight loss. I probably should have kept my mouth shut and let them wonder, eventually, what I was doing to lose the weight.

I'm hoping if I stop talking about it others will let it rest. Either that or treadmill seven times a day.

[mini_me 3]

i did not tell many folks. only the necessary people at work. i set rules for those who know...they can only ask me about my weight on mondays, and if i dont look like i have lost weight, then don't ask. i am a pretty matter of fact kind of talker, so it was easy for me to tell those folks my expectations. I am proud to have the band also, but i do not want the band to define who i am. i do not want EVERY conversation to start with...so, hows the diet going?

good luck

[fiveholts714 0]

I wish I hadn't told so many people - but it is a catch-22. They will notice that you are gone during the time you are having the surgery and they will also notice that you are drinking nothing but liquids, then eating only mushy foods, Plus they will notice the weight loss. So you will get questions so matter what. Sometimes it is better to be up front. You've already told people so instead or wondering if you should have done it, deal with it in an assertive way.

Be in charge. Tell them up front that this is not a GB and that you will lose weight more slowly. Also tell them in a nice way that while you want everyone's encouragement, please do not ask you how much weight you have lost and don't expect that you will report it to them. For some reason people think that they have the right to know, and that you will dutifully report it to them once a week. Also make it real clear that the first 6 weeks are for healing and that the band won't be fully functioning until you get a fill. Do you guys have lunches together or regular meetings? If so , this is the time to do it. That way everyone gets the same message at the same time.

It's ok to tell people, but then expect them to react. This is big news. And don't expect everyone to understand. Most of the women in your school are probably fresh out of high school and have never been heavy. Some of the girls will not be able to relate. Don't worry about them. Younger people have a hard time relating to anything they haven't personally experienced themselves. It's not a criticism - just a natural fact of life. You on the otherhand, have experienced more just by being overweight. Overweight young people (I was one) have more empathy for others, but don't expect everyone else to be that way.

Congrats on your decision. You will be glad to get this over with when you are young. :eek: :eek:

[Kat817 19]

Hi, This is my first post, so please bear with me if it does not come out right!

I had been a bit cautious about who I told I was planning surgery, and had received mostly encouragement. However unknown to me, both my husband and my oldest daughter told EVERYONE!!! So now all his co-workers and my ex-husbands family know...neither of which makes me very happy. Now tho, I really feel like I have something to prove!! Wish me luck! Surgery is as yet unscheduled but will be later this month.

[Hedwig 0]

just want to let you know kat817 you have my big good luck to you :clap2: . I know what you mean about only telling two people and they told everyone. like I said as for my family only my mom knows but at school the new spread like wild fire:omg: . that is how it is in a salon envionment. a bunch girls in everyones buisness. you all had such great things to say. and all very true. people wanting to know is natural. fiveholts you are so right about over weight people having more empathy for others. one girl said to me that we are all flawed and that if anyone judges me for my choice they haven't looked at theirs. she is only 19 but a sweetheart. thanks for all your input guys. I love the support here.:eek:

[Nykee 13]

I understand.. it happened to me..

Everyone exspected so much more.. and it sucked to the point, i kept all my band experiences to my self and hoped they would see sooner or later.

and they have!

just try to keep in mind.. it will happen.

[Dody 0]

I'm going to be in Tennessee at my daughter's when I have my surgery, so of course she knows and is very supportive of me and the surgery. I haven't kept it a secret at all from my kids. They are very supportive and know I have been depressed since my husband died and my open heart surgery, so they are glad to see me taking an interest in my life and health again. I don't know my neighbors, and of course wouldn't share the news with anyone like that, but everyone has to make a decision based on their own family/friend situation whether to tell them or not. For me it was a no brainer that would have been impossible to keep from my family. You have to know and trust your friends and have a very supportive family to share this journey with them. If you don't have that kind of relationship maybe it's better if nothing is said. I don't feel like a failure because I need the band, I just feel I need a little extra push. I can't do it myself, and thus I need this tool. There is no shame in needing help of any kind at some point in your life, just be sure you trust in people you tell and not make it every casual acquaintance you have, because then the gossip hits the grapevine and there is no stopping it. Good luck.

[TheWomanWithin 0]

The way I see it is like this: the band is a tool NOT a miracle cure like some believe.

Diets, pills, exercise are all tools also. I'm just giving myself a lifelong (or until my body decides otherwise) tool to help me be healthy.

My family knows and my best friend know, other than that I figure I will tell people on a need to know basis and whatever I think they can handle.

[JanetC 2]

We told our families... then a couple of out-of-town friends, then a couple in town. I figure the word is spreading now -- we didn't tell them not to tell. So far it hasn't gotten back to us, lol, but I'm expecting it any day.

I do feel better about telling people now that we're past the 6 week mark & have gotten a fill. We may actually lose some weight someday, lol, so they'll see SOMEthing! Of course, as much as we weigh, no one's going to notice it until 50-60 pounds, **sigh**.

If they press you too much, remember that they're just making conversation -- especially in a salon. Some may be interested, some may be jealous, some may just be bored. You can always tell them that you're not tracking your weight... and just give them updates when you feel like it. We're actually doing that... we don't own a scale & only know if we lost when we go to the doctor's. My family's almost quit asking, lol. Poor things!

[Kimbo 0]

I am also a hairstylist, but not in a regular salon but a gallery of 75 private suites. I have been so determained to make this work for me that I have told everyone, family, friends, & yes clients. I think telling everyone has helped keep me on track. As soon as a client who has not seen me in 5 or 6 weeks, walks in they as amazed at the changes in me. They compliment me on how fantastic I look & want to know how much weight I have lost, which I proudly tell them.

I'm 45 & over my lifetime have tried more diets to count & most of the time I have not share my diets, I guess because in the back of my mind I honestly felt I would fail. But not this time. I have lost more weight than I ever have. I weight less than my sons have ever seen me (they are 23 & 19). Everyone is so proud of me & I am proud of my self.

To tell people is a personal decission. You have to do what works for you. This has been what works for me. People in this world can be rude & flat out mean, but I am really luck in that all those around me truely care & want me to succeed.

Good luck to you on your journey, Beauty School really sucks & usually the girls you are going through it with are kids. Chin up it will be over soon.

Kim

Banded 10/14/05 (5 1/2 months)

71.5 lbs down

[Hedwig 0]

thanks eveyone for sharing your stories with me. I can't even begin to thank everyone here on this site for all the support and knowledge I've recieve. Kimbo you really brought me comfort. just knowing that you decided to share with everyone and everything went well for you. Yes I am the oldest girl in school but I have to say so far not one girl has been rude. maybe because I am a big girl and they may be afraid that I will smack them around. just kidding. I didn't mean for it to get around but I should have known better. at the same time I am excited and proud of my willingness to change my life. but am scared of others expectations. I think to much. Thats what my mom says. lol