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Out-Ed By Friends Husband :(



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Farmgirl,

There are many social stigmas associated with weight loss surgery. Unfortunately, many people simply do not understand how difficult adhering to the guidelines weight loss surgery requires. Many feel it is the "easy way out". The only way to mitigate these occurrences, is to educate the ignorant. Since you have been "outed", I would sieze the opportunity and invite those who question your decisions to a weight loss seminar or support group.

Everyone has an opinion, but the facts speak for themselves.

Stay positive and keep focused on your goals. Best of luck.

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I hope you get to talk to your husband. Sometimes men act like they understand and support us when deep down they don't. If he thought u were taking the easy way out he should have discussed his feelings with you before erring it don't and not in public. I never understood why anyone would want to keep it a secret. I'm waiting for my surgery date and I'm telling everyone. The only thing I asked my friends and family was that they let me tell people and don't gossip about it. We need to teach others that there is a way thru thus thing called morbid obesity! The people that judge have no idea how it feels to go to a doctor thinking you are fine and them telling you your obese. Take the surgery as a teaching tool while you are saving your own life you could also be helping someone else save their own. That should be enough to make you feel like this is more than an easy way out

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The best revenge will be at the fair next year.... In the meantime as you plan to I would take him aside and explain how you can understand how he may have questions about your weight loss surgery and how you would be happy to explain it to him...however it's really non of his business and certainly not his place to discuss it with others. Remind him ever so sweetly that if he doesn't have anything nice to say to keep his mouth shut!

Just curious... Is he overweight?

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Something similiar happened to me. I was having a birthday party for my grandson and my sister announced "Yes, I would like to lose weight too, but I am not going to the EXTREME of having surgery to do it!" I did NOT tell her about the surgery for this very reason, but my mother felt like she needed to know.. . .

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I told a few people and now many know. At first I was embarrassed but now I have decided I love my band and could care less what others think of me. I'm happy and getting healthy and my husbands happy, so screw everyone else. When they ask I proudly talk about my choice.

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Ouch! :( how insensitive.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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