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Are You "out" About Your Band?



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Hello All

Most of the people I interact with a daily basis know I had surgey, but, when I speak to someone and they hear how much weight I have lost (103 pounds!!) I rarely tell them I had WLS.

A girlfriend of mine who is actually in the WLS approval process asked me why when people ask me do i not mention the band? I find that people dismiss the success when you even elude to the fact that it might be medical advantage and not dieting. People dont realize its not the silver bullet they think it is. It required work everyday?!

I shouldnt care what people think but I DID work hard and I have made the lifestyle changes necessary for this weight loss. It bothers me when people say "OOOhhhh you had surgery"

What do you all think? Have you felt this way? How do you answer this question?

Much love!

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Everyone in my personal life knows, however when I meet strangers or see acquaintances, no I don't say anything about the band. I just don't have the energy or desire to explain it, let somehow "justify" my decision if someone starts criticizing it.

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When the weight loss is noticible and people that don't know start to ask, I will politely say " thanks I am watching what I eat". It will be the truth!

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I am not telling anyone other than intricate people. I really get peeved when you see magazine articles that say

"Suzi lost weight all naturally, no surgery!" :angry:

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Where I live everyone knows your business so they knew I had surgery . I only told a few close folks before didn't even tell my sister until 1 week before didn't need everyones opinions. My process took 15 months from start to surgery and it was a long roller coaster of will insurance pay or not. After I had the surgery and the weight started falling off and I stopped eating at all the partys I just said I had the Lap Band I can not do that, Most folks are interested and being a retired teacher I am always in education mode.

Now that I am 3 years out they are just use to me picking and choosing a dib and a dab of this at partys and get togethers and bringing home boxes of food from resturaunts . Like I "m a cheap date ordering something small and eating off my husbands plate is best for me .

I think everyone is different and you should do what works for you, it is your business .

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Only people close to me know. My partner and a couple of friends. Everyone else thinks I had a hernia repair procedure. I actually have a group of friends who are very political about being fat positive and they are very anti WLS. I used to be very pro fat acceptance and I am still very active in trying to address discrimination against fatties but my decision to get WLS came about because my mum died at the age of 59 years due to heart failure. The risks involved in surgery were less than the risks I faced by not losing weight. It's my body and any choices I make are mine and nobody else's business.

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I wish I would not have told as many people...but I agrre that once ppl heaar u had surgery they dismiss your efforts like it was easy..all bandsters know this is not easy!

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Even though I post just about everything on Facebook I neglected to post that I had surgery.I think because of some of the same reasons.I didn't want to be judged or having people watch every bite.but now people are starting to notice the weightloss and " I had Lapband " just comes out my mouth . I still haven't posted it but I do tell if people ask.

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The only people who know are my close family members, until this week. I went to a conference for work with 10 other of my co-workers. There is a LOT of drama associated with my work (I feel like I am in high school with all the drama) so I know its better for me not to tell. However, 2 of the ladies I am sorta close to and felt I could tell (hope I didn't make a mistake). One asked me why I wouldn't be open about it and I know if I do be open it will not be good. They see my side about keeping it quiet. I don't want people watching every little thing I eat and one of them did comment, that now that she knows she has noticed I really put thought into what I eat (and eat slow, small bites, etc). So I hope I didn't make a mistake with telling them.

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I moved from NC to KS for grad school a year ago. All my friends knew about my banding in NC.. But now that I moved to KS I don't want to tell anyone bc I don't want them watching my every move (also, some ppl are rude about WLS). However, this is a problem whenever I eat with someone and I can only get 2 bites in the entire time they are eating. Then I have my entire dish left and they are done.. It is so awkward! PLEASE help.. Do you think I should just tell them or should I continue to let it be my little secret?

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I have been very open about making the band. Posted in on Facebook, told all my friends, shouted it from the rooftops (you get the idea). It's just made life easier for me, and people have been extra nice knowing I've recently had surgery :)

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I didn't post it on FB (I'm sure one day it may end up on there) and I didn't tell a lot of people about it at first. I was afraid of failure. Now that I am a few weeks out and people are starting to notice a difference I love to talk about it. I have more of a "ya I did this and watch me succeed" attidude.

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I moved from NC to KS for grad school a year ago. All my friends knew about my banding in NC.. But now that I moved to KS I don't want to tell anyone bc I don't want them watching my every move (also' date=' some ppl are rude about WLS). However, this is a problem whenever I eat with someone and I can only get 2 bites in the entire time they are eating. Then I have my entire dish left and they are done.. It is so awkward! PLEASE help.. Do you think I should just tell them or should I continue to let it be my little secret?[/quote']

If you only get 2 bites you are too tight! You need to eat 3 oz plus veggies, should be way more than 2 bites.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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