Every week at least three or four times I will realize that I am very depressed and it seems to stem from my belief that I have messed up in sticking to my guidelines. (I am five weeks out and on solid foods. No beef, pork or bread till after my first fill.) I am wondering if I am actuall messing up as badly as I feel like I am and I was wondering how often other people feel like they mess up? Do you think you ever beat yourself up too much? How do you try to get over it if you do? (I do keep track of my calories, protein, fat intake and i do usually go a little bit over every day.)

My nutritionist likes to say there are no "bad" foods, just foods you shouldn't eat as often as others. I tend to agree. I also like to look at this as a lifestyle change and not a diet- I do track calories as well, but just so I know I'm getting enough Protein and sticking to lower calorie.

I was also told to have some calorie wiggle room, such as 1000-1200 a day instead of a set number like 1000. Some days you are physically hungrier and need more food than others. Yesterday I was physically experiencing the painful hunger pains even though I had already eaten dinner. I chose to have a yogurt and my hunger was gone.

I do, I'm extremely hard on myself. One way I've gotten around that is by allowing myself one "cheat meal" a month. Once a month, I eat whatever meal I am craving, regardless of fat or calories. I also allow myself one desert cheat a month (but oddly enough, rarely use it). This way I don't feel deprived and it helps keep my unhealthy eating under control.

It's not messing up! Some choices ars better than others. This is a new lifestyle, I don't look at it as a diet (I hate diets). I log everything I eat, holding myself accountable. We all need a "treat" every once in a while.

What is "messing up?" After all, we're not on a diet; we're in a lifetime plan. Some days are going to be better than others as far as making the right choices in our eating. Each day, each meal, each snack, each minute, you have to chose who to use the tool that we've chosen to help us lose weight. The band won't do it for you.

But if you are facing depression 3 or 4 times a week because you feel you're not using the tool correctly, and you just don't feel you can make the right choices, it sounds like it's not so much your band or your diet. You might seek a counselor as to the root of your problem.

I beat myself up a LOT. I keep trying to remind myself of what I would do before the band. My noss took us out for lunch the other day and i had half a wrap and some fries and I felt TERRIBLE about it. After I got over beating mysef up I realized before i would have had a starter, a burger, all of the fries, and possibly a desert and a couple of cokes. Sure my decision wasn't great but it's a heck of a lot better then it would have been before the band.

I SUCK at diets. I'm sorry, I LIKE food. I got the band because one thing my surgon said was to use the 80/20 rule. As long as you are good and follow the diet 80% of the time, you don't have to be perfect the other 20%, you should still be successful. it is impossible to say that you will be perfect and never faulter, and if you did, that doesn't seem like a terribly enjoyable way to live to me!

One word answer to your question... how often do i mess up............... Everyday.

No one is perfect, and if someone tells you they got the band and followed everything exactly... well they would be untruthful... Everyone slips....So don't be hard on yourself. Learn from what your doing and/or what you did and try and do better. that's the most we can all hope for.

We didn't get to be "large" people by being able to follow all the rules. Having the band doesn't change that. Don't be so hard on yourself and expect perfection... you will only be setting yourself up for disappointment. judge yourself on other mini goals... and reward yourself for reaching them. I got a mani and pedi for every 5lbs i lost. When i reach a bigger goal, like fitting in a smaller size pants... i rewarded myself with a new pair or something else.

good luck and happy shrinking

You are still soooo new to this new life! Give yourself a break, do the best you can. log your food, drink lots of Water and exercise! Soon you will see results and start relaxing and trusting yourself!

If I can keep in mind that each day is a NEW day, I feel much better. I do not want to look at this as a diet with lots of rules and regulations, those are the things I used to do when I failed again & again!

I will only have success if I look at this as a new life. I now eat to live instead of live to eat. I still have some cravings, sometimes I give in to them. I don't feel like a failure anymore, I just try again. I really enjoy the connection I have built on this forum. Even though we don't really know each other, I feel somewhat accountable to the group!??

I have always been a food addict so that's how I have to look at it. I still have the choice to eat correctly. I have almost 30 years of sobriety so I try to keep ONE DAY AT A TIME in mind.

We have all beat ourselves up so much over the years. It is time to love and forgive ourselves for the weight. God did not create junk and when we take care of our bodies we show that we agree!

s

I feel the same way you do to a point. I beat myself up every time I eat something I'm not supposed to but you know what... I get over it and keep trying. All of the responses you have gotten so far have been saying the same thing. You must stop being so hard on yourself. No one is perfect and anyone that says they are... I'm pretty sure they are lying.

I am a great cook (and a lazy one [the crockpot/slow cooker is your friend; and a food processor... oh baby!]) I have friends over for dinner all the time. They understand that I'm doing something that I need to do and they are supportive of me. They try to help me stay on track and do what needs to be done.

back to you, I think the hardest lesson we bigger folks have to learn is to not reward ourselves with food. Think about it, you worked so hard to learn those 5 pounds and you are going to reward yourself with a burger, fries, and milkshake (for example). That's counter-productive. Doing something nice for yourself on the other hand... getting a mani/pedi, going to a movie (if you can have fruit, sneak some in like a cut up apple, baby carrots, something healthy that you CAN'T get at the theater.), buying new shoes, whatever it is that makes you feel better and rewarded. For me I love going dancing. I don't have to drink to have a good time and I know that.

You have a ton of support here on this site from those of us going through this. So smile and enjoy yourself. Make good choices. if you "cheat" so what? you feel bad about it, accept you made a mistake, make better choices and realize it's in the past.

I think when we started on this journey a lot of us were scared to mess up and would beat ourselves up quite regulalry thinking we wont lose weight or we will fail or ruin the band, but as time goes on and the weight eventually starts falling off u become your own expert and will know what works for you and what doesnt, those blame me days finally do disappear

I saw this and thought it was really applied to our lap band journey: