Already Feeling The Isolation

[nebulamystic 6]

I have my surgery June 25 and currently on the dreaded preop diet. I already feel isolated from friends and haven't even had surgery yet! My roommate won't eat around me and I am not invited for drinks or socializing. This is what I feared would happen but so soon? I feel like the fat kid all over again that no one wants to pick on the team. It feels bad and I really don't know what to do about it. Has this happened to anyone else??

[icestorm12132008 39]

Are your friends maybe thinking that you don't want to go out because they are unaware of what you can and can't do with the lapband?

Go out with your friends and have a good time but be mindful of what you can and can't eat/drink with the band. Nothing is toping you from having a Water with lemmon, or a tea and socializing with your friends at the bar/dance club whatever. Talk with your friends about it maybe that will help.-icestorm12132008

[cmoody821 44]

I feel the same way, but I keep telling myself soon I will be better and sexier than ever!

[BikiniBodby30 6]

I've had the same issues, most recently since being on the pre op diet. This past weekend I was not invited out for our regular saturday plans of hitting the bar for some dancing and in my friends case, drinking. I do feel a little jealous but also tell myself that perhaps my friend doesn't want me to feel like the odd man out because I'm not drinking with everyone else. I tell myself that my friends still care about me, they just don't understand.

I hope it doesn't stay this way because I would be lost without my friends but I know exactly how you feel.

[OldMomOf3 52]

Oh, that's so sad for all of you! I'm really sorry your friends are behaving this way. I am sure you really like your friends, but sometimes we have to step back and re-evaluate our friendships. Hopefully you can have an honest discussion with your friends and let them know the way you feel and the ways they can support you. If not, it might be one of those re-evaluation periods. I know I've had to deliberately let go of some friendships in life because they weren't good for me. Perhaps, if your friends cannot accept you giving up a particular lifestyle, which you are doing for your health, then perhaps it's time to do some re-evaluating. I know it isn't fun, but just like giving up unhealthy foods, sometimes you have to give up unhealthy friendships. Seems like a selfish thing to not invite you because they don't understand or like your lifestyle changes. I think it's unhealthy to keep selfish people close in your sphere of influence. Easier said than done, know. Good luck!

[SageTracey 608]

Time to educate your friends. Tell them what you are feeling, tell them how they can include you and support you. And then play it very low key. This is your journey, not theirs. They will either be supportive and considerate or they won't but you can't change them. The only person you can control is yourself.

[imagine923 4]

I'm with you Tracey! Sometimes when people are going through "something" doesn't matter what, serious illness, breakup, death of a loved one, whatever....their friends just don't know how to act or what to do. Sometimes they won't even know what to say.

This doesn't mean they don't love you. It just means we are all human and hurt others without even realizing what we are doing.

Maybe your friends think they are supporting you by not tempting you to "blow it" by going out on the town for the night.

Talk to them! Don't let silence keep you from getting support from the people you need it from the most. If they are truly your friends, they will be happy to include you, they just need to know HOW, and that you want to be included, even if you don't eat or drink, their company is what you want the most.

Talk to them...don't put up a wall. This is too important of a step you are taking to go it alone.

[sylviau 125]

thats really sad. i've felt that way, but from my own doing. i'm on the pre-op liquid diet right now and i was on the limited Atkins type for a few weeks prior and when i went out, i felt a little out of place and even upset because i couldn't have what they were having... silly, i know! but no one else seems to mind! i have a birthday party coming up on sunday at one of my fav restaurants. when i told the bday girl about the liquids, she understood and even said that if i didnt feel like i wanted to go, it was ok. but not to worry about it either way. i decided i'm going to go anyway because i am going to have fun and talk and stuff with others. Even if i have to order Water, put my crystal light in it and drink the broth from a Soup there. the way my friend reacted makes me think that your friends are probably trying to be "supportive' by not tempting you by going out. but if you feel that you can go and still be faithful and have a good time... then i would definitely talk to them and let them know that you're cool with going and that you'll let them know if you feel like you dont want to.

good luck!

[NWgirl 574]

Only you know if your friends are purposefully snubbing you. If they were my friends, I would assume they know I'm on a strict pre-op diet and they may not have invited me because they didn't want me to feel tempted....