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Frustrated And Confused



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Hello, I just downloaded this app for my phone to hopefully try to decide what to do. I'm doing research on this avenue of weight loss and still can't decide if I want the lap band or gastric bypass. I am very over weight and have been on many diets over the years and my weight has been up and down like a honeymoon penis! I am a 41 man and my bmi is 49.5..... Not good. I have no energy and doing the slitest activity has become tiresome. I just don't know which way to turn. I weigh 365lbs and would like to get married someday but that surely will not happen at this weight. Any input is greatly appreciated. Lap band or bypass? Thanks Jamie

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Your best bet is to find a surgeon who does both surgeries and speak with him/her about your medical conditions to help you make an informed decision. Some surgeons prefer bypass for someone with a BMI as high as yours, but there are bandsters here who were around that BMI and have done well.

Most surgeons offer an information seminar. That is a great place to start. Mine offers side-by-side comparisons of the procedures to help you determine which is best.

Every person here has their own reasons for choosing to be banded. But I made the decision I did with the help of my surgeon based on my medical needs. There is no one size fits all for which procedure is right.

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@JME, I fully agree with the poster above. You need to go speak with a bariatric surgeon, ask tons of questions. Do a lot of research on what surgeries you are thinking of having. It really is a personal choice when it comes to weight loss surgery. I am the same weight as you and I am a woman!!! I am happily married and my husband married me at 280 and I have only gained since. I can't live like this anymore, I can't move around freely, the struggling just to do simple things like walk, bend, is so difficult.

You came to the right place to start, stick around and read and ask as many questions, there are so many supportive people on this site. You will learn so much!

Keep us all posted on your progress,

-Patty

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Agree with both posts your surgeon is your best bet for which will work for you. There is also a third option you did not mention, Gastric Sleeve. I strongly suggest you attend a WL Seminar in your area so you can make an informed decision. Meeting and talking to experts can help you make the right decision for your personal weight loss journey. This is a life changing decision and you need to make it with your doctor. Good luck to you.

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welcome! you will be able to get all your question answered here. Lots of great support! best of luck to you on whatever way you decide!

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I want to thank all of you for your input. I also forgot to mention I have zero health insurance so the cost of all of the options mention unfortunately becomes a factor. I was leaning toward the lap band for a few reasons. One was the lack of major cutting and rerouting of my plumbing so to speak. The mortality rate was lower so I was thinking it was safer. And lastly the cost. I don't know what the cost is but was figuring with the less amount of surgery it would be less expensive. Does anyone have a cost break down of the options?

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One thing to consider with a band and no insurance is after-care. With a band, you have to have fills or the band does you no good. Many surgeons offer fills for a period of time in their fees, but after that, you are on your own. Fills can cost a few hundred dollars per. My surgeon wants me to have an Upper GI each year. That would be another cost. Bands are not a set-it and forget-it procedure like bypass is.

Should you have a complication down the road and need the band removed, such as erosion, it is another full surgery. If your band should slip, treatment starts conservatively, but can end up back in the operating room.

If all goes well, banding is cheaper than bypass. I've seen amounts around 10K in the states for a band, I don't know what after is included in that price. Bypass would be substantially more as the procedure takes quite a bit more time to complete.

There are many self-pay people here who are extremely happy with their choice. But be sure you can afford the aftercare. If you cannot have fills, then it isn't worth it. And empty band is like an empty gas tank...it just sits there going nowhere fast.

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Another question I have is how long is the time frame for the lap band to be in? Is it in for the rest of your life or is there a time limit and its removed?

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My Dr said forever. I think if you have a slip or erosion that would be different but they are made to stay is my understanding

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My husband was 375lbs when he got the band in July 2010. He's now 245lbs. (6'1")

I agree with everything said so far. Speak to a surgeon and consider that lap bad is something that requires maintenance.

Surgeons in my area offer free seminars and can often discuss cost and options then, so it shouldn't cost you much, if anything, to get the information you need to make an educated decision.

Good luck!

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Congratulations on even being here and asking questions. I spent a lot of time on these boards before registering. Definitely go to a free seminar in your area... I did that and it was a great first step. You ask all the questions you want and more importantly there are (typically) people there who have previously been banded or had bypass. They were more resourceful than the doctors and I found they loved answering questions and offering encouragement. I'm not sure if insurance will cover me but I'm prepared to self-pay by financing over time. That's another option for you to look into. Good luck to you!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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