Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Sorry in advance for my spelling. Spell check is gone :(

I just started my journey, and I have to do a 90day diet in order for my insurance to approve me. My husband is a little smaller than me, but not much. Today he was very rude about me getting the lap band. He is telling me go do it, but on the other hand he is rude about certin things, just kind of selfish. Anyone have this experince? I think he is now coming to terms with the fact that he is going to be the fat one. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry in advance for my spelling. Spell check is gone :(

I just started my journey, and I have to do a 90day diet in order for my insurance to approve me. My husband is a little smaller than me, but not much. Today he was very rude about me getting the lap band. He is telling me go do it, but on the other hand he is rude about certin things, just kind of selfish. Anyone have this experince? I think he is now coming to terms with the fact that he is going to be the fat one. Lol

Actually, the relationship dynamics you describe are quite common...anytime that one of the people in a relationship changes the equilibrium of that relationship, insecurities can be expressed. Change is a word that frightens many people. It does seem that you are going to "rock his world", and he is not too happy about it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, change can be frightening, even threatening for the people closest to us. The best thing you can do is show by your actions and behaviours that he is still and always will be your number one guy.

My husband encouraged me to get the band and then expressed concerns that I would be attracted to other men or that other men would be attracted to me. Considering he was the same weight as the day we married 28 years ago, I thought it was a strange concern that I might become attracted to other men!

But we have taken this journey together and he is absolutely my hero. We eat mostly the same foods, unless we are eating out and we would have had different meals pre-band, so no biggie! We also workout together. I have made massive changes to my food choices, portion sizes and activity levels and am enjoying the health benefits. He has made great changes to his exercise regime and willingly gets out of bed early mornings so we can exercise together. He is even taking adult swimming lessons because I love to swim.

The benefits to him are not only that he gets to have me around and healthier than before, but his cholesterol is also down.

I hope your husband can become your champion on your journey!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry in advance for my spelling. Spell check is gone :(

I just started my journey, and I have to do a 90day diet in order for my insurance to approve me. My husband is a little smaller than me, but not much. Today he was very rude about me getting the lap band. He is telling me go do it, but on the other hand he is rude about certin things, just kind of selfish. Anyone have this experince? I think he is now coming to terms with the fact that he is going to be the fat one. Lol

im sorry that he is being like this with you but im wondering if he is feeling quite insecure now. Men are like that a lot. it well could be that he is feeling that you are going to be losing weight and he is going to be left behind. Men have funny ways of looking at things sometimes. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, change can be frightening, even threatening for the people closest to us. The best thing you can do is show by your actions and behaviours that he is still and always will be your number one guy.

My husband encouraged me to get the band and then expressed concerns that I would be attracted to other men or that other men would be attracted to me. Considering he was the same weight as the day we married 28 years ago, I thought it was a strange concern that I might become attracted to other men!

But we have taken this journey together and he is absolutely my hero. We eat mostly the same foods, unless we are eating out and we would have had different meals pre-band, so no biggie! We also workout together. I have made massive changes to my food choices, portion sizes and activity levels and am enjoying the health benefits. He has made great changes to his exercise regime and willingly gets out of bed early mornings so we can exercise together. He is even taking adult swimming lessons because I love to swim.

The benefits to him are not only that he gets to have me around and healthier than before, but his cholesterol is also down.

I hope your husband can become your champion on your journey!

well put.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone, i will try to show him, i dont plan on going anywhere, i know i have told him a million times, after all we have been together 10 years and have kids together lol! I do wish he would be happier for me, and not say things like, well i guess we wont be going to the buffet any more! Smh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had that a little with my husband, but I talked him into going on a "diet" with me for support and he has lost more weight then I have. I was band on 3/8/2012 I tell him everyday how good he looks. This is taking the attention off me and on him. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband has been very supportive but sometimes he will ask me if I am going to leave him when I get to my goal weight. I know deep down inside he knows I wont but some of his family members always tell hiim watch it. "She is pretty now imagine how pretty she is going to be thin, she is going to leave you!" I'm sure they think it is funny and are koking but it bothers my husband. I LOVE my husband and we have been through so much. I tell him all the time why would I leave a man I trust, a man I love and a man that I am building a life with. We work out together, go bike riding and are more active. It think this journey is bringing us closer together. Just give him time. Men are not good with change.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL! My husband asked me the same thing! I married him when I was skinny why would it be different when I lose the weight!?!? Guys are a little different.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Strangely enough, my fiancé never seemed that worried that I would up and leave him once I lost weight. We were both obese when we met and fell in love, so I guess it was never a concern. He proposed to me at my highest weight, a month before surgery. I was always afraid that he was only attracted to me as an obese person and that he would lose interest once I lost weight, since I knew a girl who had gastric bypass and had the same problem. He seems to love me no matter what size I am, so lucky me! He's been banded almost 3 months now, so we have our own little support group!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You guys are making me feel so much better! I'm going to talk with him tonight. Then maybe he will relax a lil LOL :) After all im just starting my journey anyways i have a long way to go :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×