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I Am Crying As I Write This...



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Hugs coming your way. Hope they help. I have to agree with everyone above, perhaps it is time to talk with someone and let go of your burdens. Perhaps getting them out in the open will make them more manageable. I also agree that you have a whole lot going for you. Keep your eyes on the positive and fix the things you have control over. I wish you the best. Remember you have a lot of people here pulling for you.

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((((hugs))))

I know this is a difficult time for you, and I agree with what some of the others have said. It's difficult to be happy when you are being consumed with thoughts, especially those of your ex. OMG do I know! I think maybe seeing a counselor or therapist would be a good thing for you right now. Are there also any WLS support groups in your area? My Dr's office has a once a month group, and I believe there are some other's in my area too. I've been kinda scared to go, but I think it's going to help me a lot.

Geneen Roth has an excellent book out that my therapist (also an LB-er!) recommended, called, "When food Is Love," which is about emotional eating. I saw myself so many times over and over in that book. You should definetely check it out.

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Honey I know how you feel and believe me it is not easy to just wake up and feel better. Ive been battling depression since I was 18 and I'm 38. But I also need to add, I'm a medical professional and depression can set in after surgery. Anesthesia can cause post op depression sometimes in people. This might be from all the changes you have expierenced from your personal life to your physical appearance.

It is okay to ask for help. Believe me that first step will make a world of difference. My primary care doctor explained to me last month that sometimes the physical changes, emotional changes and lifestyle change can make depression worse after surgery. You would think waking up to a new you would make everything brighter but change doesnt happen over night. So take a deep breath, relax and call your doctor. It is okay and make yourself smile again:)

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(((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))) I feel for you, but I have feelings that are up, down, and all over the place as well. I will be having surgery 6/11 and all I can think about is "I shouldnt be eating this or I shouldnt be eating that" I have found support in the pre-op support groups. Have you tried going to a meeting? Please stay positive and think about being healthy with your weight loss, and the good things that will come along with it. That is what i keep telling myself. please keep intouch :)

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You are not alone! Been there, done that! Find even one person that you can vent to and talk to about anything and everything and that will help tremendously. As far as the boyfriend leaving you, probably the best thing that ever happened, but you won't know until you look back on that years down the road. I have been up and down on this weight journey so many times, I quit smoking 10 yrs ago and with the change of life I had gotten to 235 pounds and hated me and everything else. I cried a lot to myself. Things will always change, I am to goal with losing 90 pds but have slipped and gained a stubborn 5-8 pounds that will not go away, so I am down again. See, that is how life works, I will defeat this emotional eating once again and life will be good, you wait and see you will be happy again shortly and this will be just another bad memory that you can disgard along with all the bad memories you have had. Keep the faith and for me sometimes a little prayer helps. Good luck and please keep in touch with all of us

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There are many good suggestions posted here. First, check to see if your college provides mental health services. Most do and at no cost. Check to see if your surgeon or hospital has a support group for weight loss patients.

Depression is not something this is meant to be dealt with alone!!! Stay in school and take joy in every class you complete!

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Please don't be afraid to seek counseling help. Where I went the per-surgery preparation included may workshops on the physical as well as mental/emotional changes that many people experience after WLS. I concentrated on the physical thinking that this was the major change I was making. To my surprise it was the emotional/mental changes that knocked me on my butt. As a happily married husband and father that was hard to admit or accept that this was my biggest challenge. Believe me that so many of us are with you in this. Several months later now after many months of talk therapy as well as pharmaceutical help I can look back and wonder how I made it through that time. By outward appearance all may seem wonderful and at the same time nobody else may know that mentally that same person could be barely holding it together.

You have taken a big step toward physical well being. Be sure to continue this holistic well being too as needed. The entire WLS team including coordinating doctors and NP's, psychologists and nutritionists have a lot of time invested in your success and when asked should quickly be able to give you referrals for help if you ask them. I know my NP who did my followup and fills was the best and true cares for her patients well being.

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I want to take time to thank all of you! I took some time away and sorted my priorities! But I am so blessed to have found this forum and come across so many people who can care for someone they don't know! Thank you all again!

oh and btw I've lost 48.5 pounds!!

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I'm glad to hear that things are better for you now Rae.

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Congratulations! You are doing fabulous!!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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