Having difficutly with finality.....

[vluckey 1]

Ok. I'm a very happy bandster. That being said I've noticed lately that I'm struggling with something that is really bothering me. The finality of bandster life. Let me explain....

When we have done the traditional diets, we knew there would be a day when we would enjoy the good stuff again. That is the reason why we gain back, because we don't maintain the diet that helped us to lose the weight.

There is no going back with the band, unless we go for an unfill which is almost like deliberately having a medical procedure which would end up causing weight gain. I long for the days when I can eat without the fear of food sticking in my band and barfing. I'm tired of eating chili (which is a staple food for me).

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my decision at all, but I want to get my head around this finality thing. Any suggestions?

[the best me 6]

Okay, this may be part of why I'm a slow loser. I always have to feel like I can eat like I want to...not wanting to let go of my old friend and my old familiar ways.

Some of that is helpful, and as you lose and your band loosens, you will have more freedom in your food choices. This can be good or bad? Some like to "feel kinda normal" again (me) and others switch gears and never go back. And all the shades of in-between, but you get the idea.

Maybe you will come to realize, over time, that whatever your band is giving you now will likely change. So there's nothing really to finalize? It's the process, the journey, and you are only getting started.

Have no idea if that helps you at all. But I hope so.

[Jachut 487]

Well, its not about good stuff/bad stuff with the band anyway, if you ask me. When you dont overeat at all, it really ceases to matter whether you become obsessed with particular food groups, types of diets, avoiding things etc etc.

I can still eat a muffin. I can no longer eat 6 muffins. Therefore, muffins are no longer a problem food for me. Its that simple. If I eat a muffin, it replaces a meal, I am so full. Not a great food choice for every day, but not a great drama either.

So to me, there is no finality.

Granted, I can still eat lots of chocolate or quite a few Cookies. There are many reasons beyond weight why I dont want to do that. It makes me feel awful. It gives me an upset tummy. It makes me feel out of control. It doesnt soothe whatever feeling I intended to soothe. Therefore making the choice not to do that most of the time is a lifetime thing anyway and has very little to do with what I actually weigh at the time.

I honestly feel FREE, and liberated now I have this band, not the other way around.

[MsButterKup23 1]

What works good for me is I view the bad food as what got me to 300lbs. Once I realize it's not my friend I go on and enjoy my weight loss.

Best of luck to ya, it's definately a mental process you have to go through.

[youknowit 11]

it may sound trite, but i don't believe in the "bad food/good food" dichotomy... i guess like Kathy (best me) said above, that may make us slow losers (thought it hasn't really had a major effect on me yet). i don't say "i can never have ___________", with the exception of soda pop, and if something i do try is a problem, that's how i decide to let it go or not. with all that said, i have (intentionally or not) eliminated some things... like pizzahut pizza (and pretty much all pizza), donuts/cakes, stuff like that. i just don't "feel" like having it, and i haven't...

at any rate, i hope you do great with your weightloss, and know that we're all in this together.

[pepsi32861 0]

I don't feel the finality of it all either because I feel we can have anything so long as we eat within reason and don't gorge on the things that are really not that good for us. If I could never have any chocolate of any kind again I would never make it...

[CCBSTX 0]

I understand what you mean, especially if you have a tight restriction. When I had my second fill, and was tight, I felt the finality of "when will things be normal again." However, I got an unfill and feel much better. I am able to eat most foods in limitation (key point) and get my nutrition in...Shawn

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I have been having trouble with this preband. I look at the way DHand I eat, and how much we enjoy a nice big italian meal on a regular basis, and it makes me sad.

No more sitting down and having a lot of warm bread and oil, some cheesy appetizer, a big salad with more bread, and a big Pasta dish, followed by a sweet dessert. All accompanied by abottleofwine.

Now Iget to watch him do it, and I get to eat my salad. that kinda sucks. LOL

But I just keep telling myself that little saying: "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" And I rememberwhy I am making this choice.

Its still gonna suck sometimes, but most of the time I am going to try to maintain a positive outlook.

[vinesqueen 2]

I too think the only bad food is spoiled and will give you food poisoning. Food is not the villian in the drama of my life.

It might help if you don't think of this as a diet of any sort, although technically any way we eat is our "diet." I think the reason diets don't work is that they do create an atmosphere of deprivation. They tend to be very negative, Can't have this, or this, or this or that. Can only have this if you combine it with that....

Getting banded is not being on yet another diet. It is a surgeically enforced lifestyle change. And changing our lifestyles is the only way to make longterm effective changes. Diets are short term, the band is designed to be forever.

We have many, many successful bandsters who view their new lives this way.

While weightloss is so much more complex than calories in/calories out, that is an important component. I think there is a mental component for many people, a metabolic issue for others.

[donali 57]

I long for the days when I can eat without the fear of food sticking in my band and barfing. I'm tired of eating chili (which is a staple food for me).

Vanessa -

If you're having a lot of problems being able to eat a variety of foods, you are probably too tight.

You shouldn't have to worry so much about getting stuck and barfing if you are genuinely chewing throughly and eating slowly.

Just a thought - maybe a teeny tiny unfill would allow you a more varied diet without the worries of it coming up.

[mousecrazy 2]

Lots of good info here...like Donali said, a teeny unfill seems to be in order. If you want more variety and more choice in your situation, you do have to be able to take the responsibiliy over from the band a little...only you can decide if you are ready for that.

I've made a decision to lose a little slower than I could, in exchange for not having a super-tight fill. It's an okay decision for me. Still, even with the small fill I have, I cannot eat 6 muffins! I can eat one. I cannot eat a whole order of nachos, but maybe 1/2 order.

So, maybe stop dwelling on the word "finality" and think about the word, "opportunity." Adjust the band to your particular needs, that's why it's adjustable...

However you work it out, I know you will, and you will do just fine!

Cindy

["Just" Paul 1]

I went through the first few months on such a high from my weight loss, I did not have time to grieve.

Now, as the loss settles down, there are times when I miss eating "normal" (Normal, meaning the way I ate before, and likely the way most Americans eat all the time). I do miss biting into a big hamburger, or having a big plate of food.

For me, I think it is the sensation, not the flavor. I can eat anything (almost) in reasonable quantities, as long as there are small bites, well chewed. But, a big bite of a double-decker burger, with cheese, lettuce, Tomato onion and bacon, with a sourdough bun... I couldn't take that big bite... and in reality, it is not the same sensation as taking that little pee-pee bite I take now. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't.

So, no, food is not my life, but like anything else you give up (smoking, coffee, alcohol...) you will have times of feeling withdrawal, at least I do.

But, you know, when I look in the mirror, stand on the scale, bike 10 miles, or just not get winded going up a flight of stairs, I don't regret it one bit.

Hmmmmm... I think I'm making burgers for dinner tonight.

[Teresa A 0]

Jack said it eloquently--

"To me the Band is a dynamic interface between my goals and my behavior"

The band helps me meet my goals. That doesn't mean I can't have a little of the wonderful foods I always have enjoyed. There are no bad foods. I just can't eat the whole bag, or box, or plate-full like my former over-eating self.

[TommyO 5]

Here is someting I have discoverred that I find very interresting. I think I ate in the past for reward. What I mean is when I was going out of control with my eating it was because it made me feel good to eat, in essence I was being rewarded. Now when I eat there is little reward if any at all, many times I get an uncomforatble feeling and a few times I have had to lean over the bowl, if you know what I mean. All of a sudden there is no reward and I find myself having urges to be bad less and less. Don't get me wrong I still have the urge to eat plenty but it is diminishing.

I have only been banded since December 9th so it is still to early for me to feel certain that this will continue but I am hoping that over time my desire to reward myself with food will be greatly decreased.

Here's hoping!!

[Marimaru 7]

No more sitting down and having a lot of warm bread and oil, some cheesy appetizer, a big salad with more bread, and a big Pasta dish, followed by a sweet dessert. All accompanied by abottleofwine.

Now Iget to watch him do it, and I get to eat my salad. that kinda sucks. LOL

Amy, you may not be able to do the whole big meal, but if you ordered your salad, and had a couple bites of each 'course' from your DH's meal, you could still get the experience. That may be why the 'finality' part of it is hard. You CAN do lots of things after you are banded that I think many of us though we would not be able to do. There will be things that you have trouble with, but for the most part, you should be able to eat just about anything, just in smaller amounts.

I also agree with the idea that vluckey may need a small unfill.