Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How Many People Have You Told?



Recommended Posts

What TWI said, tell one person and you've told a bunch. I chose to be open about my surgery. I didn't announce I was having it done, but as I lost people asked how I was doing it (as they always will). So, after I'd told one or two people at work, others would approach saying, "I heard you had lap band surgery!" Granted, those I told were not asked to keep it quiet.

Also, when eating in a group and I experience trouble, I prefer to just tell people rather than prevaricating. But that is me. It would be just as easy to say I am not feeling well, or I am not very hungry.

Each of us will figure out what works.

The only person I did NOT want to know was my MIL. She was a worrier and would never let the topic rest. If I had a cold, she'd ask me about it each time I saw her for the next 3 months. I get Migraines, I take meds daily to prevent them, but still have them sometimes. Each visit I got the 3rd degree about my migraines and why couldn't they stop them, why did I need to take so much medication for them? What causes them? Why can't they cure them?

Yeah, ain't going there with the band. I think she had a suspicion though. She'd seen me go through multiple diets and failures. Then saw me be successful without my talking about it. All she ever said was you look great! The woman who used to try to drag me onto a scale to see how much I weighed when I was at my peak. She never once asked how I was doing it. So, perhaps a SIL told her and explained I wanted it keep it private...dunno. She passed last April without it ever becoming an issue. Bless her heart.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This I have answered many times.

When I was first banded, I spread the good word. As a fellow Bandster said above "there's nothing to be ashamed of." how true.

You have a vision problem you get glasses, hearing problem maybe a aid. weight problem they want you to diet ! or you are a failure !

I heard that at work, and at home.

So when we moved I didn't tell anyone but a waitress in a Restaurant, and she does not crucify me. She likes to see the success.

So now I don't tell the world what's my business.

Only the world that is on this site.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ive already gotten the "are you crazy" from my two best friends for considering it. Ill have to ask my mother questions since she had a gastric bypass and worked in the medical field. Im sure she will tell the whole entire family if I choose to do it, but I wouldnt want anyone in my business either!

Your friends are just gonna be jealous if you do!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just told my husband. No one else needs to know. This is a private matter. No one needs to know.

I think in general, we feel pressured to share with everyone, friends, family, co-workers. And sometimes we feel the need to share with complete strangers very intimate details of our lives.

My weight and my health are topics that only my husband needs to know about.

If anyone questions my weight loss, I will say , "thank you".

I am not telling my mom, as she will spread it throughout the known world.

Same with co-workers. I work in a relatively small workplace, and word travels amazingly fast.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Of course this was a discussion for the husband and I. I have told 2 of my sisters, one friend who is also intrested in the surgery, and one who has undergone WLS. I finally decided in December 2011 I am ready for a change! And I only have two more appointments to attend and I can schedule... So I'm super excited. But I also feel its strictly on a need to know, and my sisters were proof because neither one of them want me to go through with it, but this is for me so I'm pushing forward!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi... I actually told my close family who was very supportive. I also told 2 of my close friends when I mentioned it to others I received negative feedback...so with that being said I'm not telling anyone else... I figure it's known of their business.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hadn't told many people before surgery just a coworker and a best friend. Right before surgery I decided to tell my Children. I have a teenage Daughter and didn't want to set what might been looked at as bad eating habit (because if she didn't know why I wasn't eating, I didn't want to set a bad example) I was in pre-op at hospital and I wouldn't have told my sister, but My Dad thought I was going in for heart surgery and he called her and I had to let her know that's not what was going on..so I just told her! My Dad is staying with me so I told him when I told the kids. MENTAL NOTE-If you do not want people to know something...Do Not....I repeat Do Not.....tell someone with intermittent Altzheimers! (That would be my Dad. Who I think he told the world, oh well cats out of the bag now! Good Luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the only people that know iam having wls is my husband,one sister-in-law and a cousin.that is it my co-workers think im having a hiatial hernia fixed which is true but they dont know the extra,my mom had bypass about 10 yrs ago and had many complications and i was dead set against it so maybe im being a lil cautious as far as her finding out but . she also is dealing with my dads health issues right now..heck since the wl is slow an steady she will think the diet an gym r working again i lost 65lbs on my own when she went through her wls well cant wait till tuesday !!!!!1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have only shared with 2 friends who have had surgery (either band or bypass) and of course close family. I feel like others on here that to me, this is a personal thing and want to be a journey that I can enjoy instead of thinking about the opinion of others about my choice-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm starting to think that I might have a lot of really supportive people around me, and that maybe I should tell a few more of them. So far, I have only told DH (obviously, lol) my BFF, a friend who has announced that he is getting banded the week after I am, and another really good friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was selective in who I told, but brace yourself for lots of judgement and advice. I am one week post now and I am telling people I work with that I had hernia surgery. People have their own fears and agendas and they will try to force them on you. It is hard enough to make this decision and as long as those closest to you support you, that is all you need. Of course, in the future, if an overweight friend asks, I will probably tell them what I did. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×