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Hi. I got good news and am on pureed foods for one week then soft foods the next. I am going through bandster hell right now though awaiting my first fill. I am getting those feelings of regret that I did this. It's being set off by emotions of being in a crossfire in a family feud. I can't emotional eat anymore and it's hard. Awhile back, I've read encouraging words here to someone who had the same feelings of regret and am trying to remember them and echo them in my mind.

I was supposed to go to church exercise tonight but as I cried I told the lady who leads it I couldn't go.

Trying to stay strong not to emotional eat. :help:

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I spent the first two weeks cryiing, hurting both physically and emotionally. I would cry and think "I volunteered for this and paid good money"etc.

That was then. I was banded 11/3/05 and to date - feel great and have lost 47 lbs with out a fill as yet. I am an emotional eater and still do eat, but I don't "over eat". I am working on this and I will control this eating related to emotions!

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Hi,

Sorry you are having such a rough time.

I hope it helps to know I went through the same stage. I am very much an emotional eater. I remember one day i had a really rough day and I couldn't eat the junk that made me feel better, or so I thought.

You have to "mourn food" if you will. I simply look at the bad stuff as things that got me to 300lbs.

It will get better I promise, when that scale starts going down and you can buy smaller clothes it so worth it. Total change in priorities.

If you need me PM me. :) I'm here for ya!

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I went thru the same thing. I was a basket case for 2 weeks... I have read that it is side effects of the anethesia...

It will get better, it may take a while, but you will get thru this!

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I have had many moments of "oh my gosh what did I do" over the past week! The worst was the other night.....I got into an argument with DH and did what I normally do grabbed the closest comfort food and stormed upstairs, fortunately my food was a chocolate protien shake. I sat down in my room and started to cry because I was so damn angry with him, in between my sobs I took 2 HUGE chugs of my shake (I was 5 days post-op) and OMG it hurt! I got so mad at myself for abusing my body....I got so mad at myself for turning again to food....I got mad at the band for not letting me inhale a bag of popcorn or a twix bar....I got mad at my husband for making me upset. And I cried!

Then I realized I was the most upset about not having the same coping mechanism I have had for 20+ years EATING AND EATING AND EATING when I feel badly. I then was crying because I was mourning food, I didn't fully understand what this meant when I was pre-op...now I get it! I talked to the nurse at my docs office and she told me that not being able to eat when upset/stressed etc is almost as emotionally stressfull as losing a parent. It is something we have loved and relied on for years and years and now suddenly it is not there in the same capacity.

You/we have undergone a MAJOR life altering surgery and it will take some getting used to. Find a new outlet for that stress/emotion that doesn't involve mastication, go for a walk/read a book/call a friend/come here for support but don't go back on the habits that brought us here in the first place!

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...I got so mad at myself for abusing my body....I got so mad at myself for turning again to food....I got mad at the band for not letting me inhale a bag of popcorn or a twix bar....I got mad at my husband for making me upset. And I cried!

Then I realized I was the most upset about not having the same coping mechanism I have had for 20+ years EATING AND EATING AND EATING when I feel badly. I then was crying because I was mourning food, I didn't fully understand what this meant when I was pre-op...now I get it! I talked to the nurse at my docs office and she told me that not being able to eat when upset/stressed etc is almost as emotionally stressfull as losing a parent. It is something we have loved and relied on for years and years and now suddenly it is not there in the same capacity.

You/we have undergone a MAJOR life altering surgery and it will take some getting used to. Find a new outlet for that stress/emotion that doesn't involve mastication, go for a walk/read a book/call a friend/come here for support but don't go back on the habits that brought us here in the first place!

I found your comments in bold very insightful.

I know I need to acknowledge and make me realize that I abuse my body when I eat the wrong things, amounts, etc.

The last sentence I put in bold, well that is something that I bet a lot of us deal with. Of course our husbands DON'T MAKE us mad, they aggravate us and we respond with anger. This is what I have been working on, and it helps me most to hand write in a journal; I don't get the same realize if I try to type it in a computer journal.

I hope you have a great journey. I am still in the waiting stage.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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