Im sitting here 12 hours til my surgery & Im a ball of emotions right now. Excited, anxious, scared, nervous, hungry....

Its weird because up until today I was pretty excited about what was gonna happen but now that its finally here Im finding myself surprisingly emotional. I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this. I've been overweight since birth & have known nothing else. I know there is no guarantee that this will work for me & I got a hell of a long way to go, but Im ready to put in the work. Im tired of living my life this way & Im ready to say goodbye. Good bye to looking at chairs with dread & wondering if Im going to fit in them or break them. Goodbye to cardigans & jackets over everything to hide my fat arms.( Even during the hot summer!) Goodbye to turning down invitations to hang out with friends I havnt seen in awhile because I dont want them to see how fat I have gotten. Goodbe to hearing "you have such a pretty face" or "You would be so pretty if you lost some weight". Am I suppose to take that as a compliment?! Goodbye to hiding behind my camera. I went to Vegas for the first time 4 months ago & took tons of pictures of my friends having the time of their lives.Tell me why Im not in one damn picture? Any picture I took with myself in it got deleted when I saw how fat I looked in it. This sounds dumb, but I cant wait to update my profile picture on Facebook with a picture that's not from the face up & from 3 years ago when I wasn't as fat.

Good bye to not being able to take a compliment from my loving fiance who tells I look beautiful, to only get my "shut up" or "whatever" response. Or even worse, that being together for 6 years & living together for 3, I still make him turn around or close his eyes when I change or I am naked. Goodbye to the looks of pitty I've seen in people's eyes. I was at a store one time & there was a lady & her child in the isle with me. When I passed them with my cart the little boy said "Whoa Mommy, she's faaaat!" . The woman mouthed an appoligy to me while looking embarassed & scolded her son. But no one was embarassed as I was. I sat in my car in the parking lot & cried. Did this 6 year old kid really make me cry? I felt like I was in grade school again. I never want to feel like that again. I'v lost 36 pounds in the last 2 1/2 monhs with diet & excersize alone & can't wait to have this tool to help keep it up. I guess my final good bye should be to the "old" me. The over weight, unhealthy & unhappy me. Im ready to start living the life I've always wanted to live & Im ready to show my body the love it deserves.

Congrats to you and your journey! Your post was written beautifully and I agree with the others, I think many of us have felt the same way. I share your feelings...and I'm ready to start my new life too! I've submitted to insurance and I'm just playing the waiting game now.

Here's to all of us who took the first step to our new life! Please keep us posted on your wonderful transformation into a more confident and happy you!

I Identify about the whole seating issue. Having to sit in the handicap seat at school,

praying to God that I don't get assigned to the middle seat when flying.

Hoping that the airline attendant doesn't pull me to the side and make me pay for being to fat to fly.

Bathroom stalls, benches, seats at restaurant's, roller coasters, dentist chairs, seats in classrooms, folding chairs,

I can go on and on but I'm leaving that old world behind and moving on.

I pray that you're surgery goes smoothly and that you have a fast and event-less recovery!

I Identify about the whole seating issue. Having to sit in the handicap seat at school,

praying to God that I don't get assigned to the middle seat when flying.

Hoping that the airline attendant doesn't pull me to the side and make me pay for being to fat to fly.

Bathroom stalls, benches, seats at restaurant's, roller coasters, dentist chairs, seats in classrooms, folding chairs,

I can go on and on but I'm leaving that old world behind and moving on.

I pray that you're surgery goes smoothly and that you have a fast and event-less recovery!

OMG, ALL of the above has happened to me. I always try to show up early to class to get first dibs on the handicap seat or at least find a seat before anyone gets there so they dont see me struggle to squeeze in the seat:( But I guess no more sad faces right? Thank you for your comment, & my name is Tanya too( And you even spell it the RIGHT way )!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. Its funny how perfect strangers on the internet can comprehend me & my struggles more than friends & family that I've know for years can. The surgery went well. I couldnt believe that I actually did it! The nurses said the first thing I said when I woke up was "Am I skinny now?"lol...not quite! Excited for this journey to get the kick start that I need, good luck to you all!!

Congratulation with this new part of your life. You have done so good already ! 36 lbs down!! Just be prepared for the gas pains and possible weight gain of a few pounds. That is all typical and not to discourage you. GOOD LUCK

Im sitting here 12 hours til my surgery & Im a ball of emotions right now. Excited, anxious, scared, nervous, hungry....

Its weird because up until today I was pretty excited about what was gonna happen but now that its finally here Im finding myself surprisingly emotional. I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this. I've been overweight since birth & have known nothing else. I know there is no guarantee that this will work for me & I got a hell of a long way to go, but Im ready to put in the work. Im tired of living my life this way & Im ready to say goodbye. Good bye to looking at chairs with dread & wondering if Im going to fit in them or break them. Goodbye to cardigans & jackets over everything to hide my fat arms.( Even during the hot summer!) Goodbye to turning down invitations to hang out with friends I havnt seen in awhile because I dont want them to see how fat I have gotten. Goodbe to hearing "you have such a pretty face" or "You would be so pretty if you lost some weight". Am I suppose to take that as a compliment?! Goodbye to hiding behind my camera. I went to Vegas for the first time 4 months ago & took tons of pictures of my friends having the time of their lives.Tell me why Im not in one damn picture? Any picture I took with myself in it got deleted when I saw how fat I looked in it. This sounds dumb, but I cant wait to update my profile picture on Facebook with a picture that's not from the face up & from 3 years ago when I wasn't as fat.

Good bye to not being able to take a compliment from my loving fiance who tells I look beautiful, to only get my "shut up" or "whatever" response. Or even worse, that being together for 6 years & living together for 3, I still make him turn around or close his eyes when I change or I am naked. Goodbye to the looks of pitty I've seen in people's eyes. I was at a store one time & there was a lady & her child in the isle with me. When I passed them with my cart the little boy said "Whoa Mommy, she's faaaat!" . The woman mouthed an appoligy to me while looking embarassed & scolded her son. But no one was embarassed as I was. I sat in my car in the parking lot & cried. Did this 6 year old kid really make me cry? I felt like I was in grade school again. I never want to feel like that again. I'v lost 36 pounds in the last 2 1/2 monhs with diet & excersize alone & can't wait to have this tool to help keep it up. I guess my final good bye should be to the "old" me. The over weight, unhealthy & unhappy me. Im ready to start living the life I've always wanted to live & Im ready to show my body the love it deserves.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. Its funny how perfect strangers on the internet can comprehend me & my struggles more than friends & family that I've know for years can. The surgery went well. I couldnt believe that I actually did it! The nurses said the first thing I said when I woke up was "Am I skinny now?"lol...not quite! Excited for this journey to get the kick start that I need, good luck to you all!!

AWESOME! You have taken the biggest and best step of your life. I wish you health and happiness in your journey to the new you

thank you for being to honest. that honesty will help you all the way through this wondrous trip! I am excited that you are only 27, you have so many healthy years to look forward to now that you are getting healthy!!! Keep up the good work and the great weight loss. God did not make any junk. I am happy to have you as a friend on this site!

Im sitting here 12 hours til my surgery & Im a ball of emotions right now. Excited, anxious, scared, nervous, hungry....

Its weird because up until today I was pretty excited about what was gonna happen but now that its finally here Im finding myself surprisingly emotional. I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this. I've been overweight since birth & have known nothing else. I know there is no guarantee that this will work for me & I got a hell of a long way to go, but Im ready to put in the work. Im tired of living my life this way & Im ready to say goodbye. Good bye to looking at chairs with dread & wondering if Im going to fit in them or break them. Goodbye to cardigans & jackets over everything to hide my fat arms.( Even during the hot summer!) Goodbye to turning down invitations to hang out with friends I havnt seen in awhile because I dont want them to see how fat I have gotten. Goodbe to hearing "you have such a pretty face" or "You would be so pretty if you lost some weight". Am I suppose to take that as a compliment?! Goodbye to hiding behind my camera. I went to Vegas for the first time 4 months ago & took tons of pictures of my friends having the time of their lives.Tell me why Im not in one damn picture? Any picture I took with myself in it got deleted when I saw how fat I looked in it. This sounds dumb, but I cant wait to update my profile picture on Facebook with a picture that's not from the face up & from 3 years ago when I wasn't as fat.

Good bye to not being able to take a compliment from my loving fiance who tells I look beautiful, to only get my "shut up" or "whatever" response. Or even worse, that being together for 6 years & living together for 3, I still make him turn around or close his eyes when I change or I am naked. Goodbye to the looks of pitty I've seen in people's eyes. I was at a store one time & there was a lady & her child in the isle with me. When I passed them with my cart the little boy said "Whoa Mommy, she's faaaat!" . The woman mouthed an appoligy to me while looking embarassed & scolded her son. But no one was embarassed as I was. I sat in my car in the parking lot & cried. Did this 6 year old kid really make me cry? I felt like I was in grade school again. I never want to feel like that again. I'v lost 36 pounds in the last 2 1/2 monhs with diet & excersize alone & can't wait to have this tool to help keep it up. I guess my final good bye should be to the "old" me. The over weight, unhealthy & unhappy me. Im ready to start living the life I've always wanted to live & Im ready to show my body the love it deserves.

Thank you for all that you shared, hon. You are quite an inspiration to me. All the best on your journey to good health. Please keep us posted on your progress!

Melinda

What you have written sounds exactly like something I would have written. So many of us know exactly how you feel. I hope everything went perfect with your surgery and you are feeling well. Please keep us updated on how everything went. Wishing you the best of luck of this journey !

Hope your Surgery went well. As everyone said you hit the "nail on the head" I use to get the "You are so good looking from the waist up" I am now in my upper 40's and it's spread so I don't even get that anymore. You wonder why people can't see beneath but now that I am older I guess you can compare it to the saying "Live on Love - Money can't buy you that" (was 17 when I got married and once thought I could do that too) But in this economy little hard to live on Love as well - Love makes the world go around but doesn't pay the bills. I have also been experiencing comments made by a long time male friend of mine and my husbands that is recently divorced - he recently dated a woman that reminded me alot of myself, I always thought he cared and had a lot of respect for me - he broke it off with the woman and makes comments such as he just couldn't handle her size - did nothing for him sexually and then every woman he see's her size or mine he has to comment about though other than being overweight they are very beautiful women, it just gets under my skin and I guess I can honestly say his comments hurt (though not directed at me) especially since the woman he was dating reminded me alot of me (looks - body size - good hearted) but you know what, I didn't make this decision for fools like him - my husband has loved me for over 31 years through every pound gained and lost, like you I feel very fortunate for that but I too still will not let him see me naked - after 31 years - God he's seen it all - Good Lord - I am doing this for a granddaughter I am raising who I see starting to struggle with weight issues and self esteem issues - I want to help her but I have to help and turn around me first - I also am doing this for me because I see where I could be very quickly if I don't do something and I want to spend the next 31 years with my husband healthy and active - I don't want him and or my children/granddaughter having to take care of me.... Good Luck on your Journey, keep all of us here posted on how your doing. Remember your are BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Ditto....less than 40 hours to go before surgery.....goodbye to the old me, hello to the girl that is screaming to get out.

WOW, i swear that i could have typed every word myself. you got me at the walking over to a chair slowly to see if it was wide enough for me to sit in. we all go through the same things everyday. maybe if we learned to love ourselves as much as we should, life as an overweight person wouldn't have to be so depressing. well, i wish you nothing but the best and i hope you have much much success. keep us posted.