Confessions of a Pre - Bander

[NeenBand 7]

*~Otherwise known as "Hopeful One Day, Scared Sh*tless The Next"~*

:hungry:

Reading through erosion posts, pictures of infections, stories of slippage and removals, I sally forth to my meeting with the Psych doc and nutritionist, with what amounts to this month's rent money in hand to pay for this visit.

I don't take this surgery lightly. I was actually able to have this done by a different surgeon back in the Fall. But I needed more time to make sure I was doing the right thing. Let's be honest, going under the knife to be able to lose weight is a huge step, and a serious one.

I went to a support group meeting of this other surgeon and I was shocked at how quickly and without real research these people went and had this done. I was asking questions that we discuss here in the meeting none of them had a clue about. That shocked me. I guess for some the promise of being thin is enough.

Not me.

Yes, I am terrified of the actual surgery, going under anesthesia. (will I be that 1 in 1000 that won't wake up?) but my fears center more on what is going to happen after the surgery.

Will I heal?

Will I become infected?

Will I get pneumonia?

Will it be freaky because there is a freaking device wrapped around my stomach?

Will I become dehydrated?

And farther out:

Will I pass out from PBing?

Will I have terrible pain in my chest like some people?

Will I erode?

Will complications from erosion in my stomach kill me?

Emotional:

Will I enjoy life without my food?

Will I ever be able to enjoy food again?

What will life be like without being able to just drink and eat whenever and however like before?

What will I do with my time without it being centered on eating and cooking?

What will I do with my thoughts and emotions that can't be comforted with food anymore??

So, my first hour is with the nutritionist. I am completely overwhelmed and set on edge by this meeting. If the seriousness of this surgery didn't hit me before, then it did now.

I am a vegetarian, so getting Protein is going to be paramount. The fact that I will have to be on a low carb diet was not what I expected. As a vegetarian, I eat carbs in Beans, whole grains, etc. From the food choices I have, it seemed to me that food enjoyment is really going to be out the window. Yogurt, cottage cheese, tofu, Protein drinks. And Water. That will be my diet. I was prepared for a change, but not this drastic.

What unsettled me the most was the water bit. I can hold off drinking at meals, but I guzzle water. ALL DAY. I used to be very athletic and I drank and still drink over a gallon of water a day. And I chug it.

When I don't get my gallon in, I feel dehydrated and can actually feel sick. SO this is a real concern for me. I just don't see how I can keep up the levels my body is used to all these years with a sip, sip ,sip sip all day.

So coupled with all that I have written above, and the fact that now I am just waiting on a surgery date has me up at night.

Am I doing the right thing?

Will I be doing my body more harm than being fat if something goes wrong?

Anxiety and fear is riding me out. But every once in a while during the day I'll see a woman who is slim and I think "I can be that now. I actually have a chance at achieving that" or see an ad for travel and think "I can vacation now and not be miserable that I am so fat"

But most of all this is about getting healthy again. I can feel my body struggling and getting sick with this weight on, and I'm only going to get bigger because I am a food junkie and I have PCOS.

To be continued.....

[babsintx3 0]

Hi Leener ,

There are bandsters who are vegetarians and do quite well. I dont think long term you have to stick to a low carb diet, but for folks with PCOS, it is generally advised that they do stick to one because typically they are insulin resistant as well. I am assuming that because you are obese that you have made the wrong food choices in the past or have a satiety disorder like the rest of us here? Which means making some changes are a good thing because even being a veggie means that you will have the band to help you with Portion Control. It will be harder for you to get your Protein, but Protein can be found in low fat dairy, Beans, tofu, low fat cheese etc... You will not starve and the most important thing is that you wont be very hungry since the band is a restrictive device that will help you with your portion control.

Now regarding complications, yes there are some. I have had a great experience with my band and no problems. I PB very very rarely (less than 10 times in 2.7 years) All ya need to do is chew chew chew. You might have to stay away from some of the fibrous veggies, since they can be stringy and cause you problems. No one knows which foods they will not be able to tolerate. It is trial and error.

Regarding the Water, I can still drink Water at a pretty rapid rate. I have been tight occasionally where I sound like a drain pipe when I drink too fast, but you should still be able to drink your water without a problem. Thicker drinks do go through more slowly and you will have to be careful to pace yourself.

I still love food just as much as before. I now eat foods that I would have never considered before banding. I love veggies now and I especially love fish and wouldnt have touched a piece of tilapia pre banding. Now I eat fish several times a week, love making turkey/ veggie chili with zucchini and 5 different kinds of organic Beans etc... You may have to supplement your diet with some Protein shakes or bars since you will need to keep your protein intake high if you want to lose weight. But at the end of the day, it boils down to calories in and calories expended.

My advice is to be aware of the pitfalls, problems or complications of lapbanding, but dont become obsessed with the negative. Nothing is perfect and nothing is foolproof. It is a tool and you will get what you put into it. Dont worry dahlinggg......

Babs in TX

334/180

-150 ish

[vinesqueen 2]

What Babs said!

[NeenBand 7]

Great post Babs and much appreciated! :-)

That's why I post here, to get the calmer voice and (the voices of reason) to my anxious one.

I must admit, this forum helps educate me on the pitfalls, but it also can rattle you a bit.

[vluckey 1]

Will I heal? yes

Will I become infected? no

Will I get pneumonia? no

Will it be freaky because there is a freaking device wrapped around my stomach? yes perhaps for a while then you'll get used to it then no.

Will I become dehydrated? no Most of us can drink plenty of Water whenever we want. I love Water and drink tons!

And farther out:

Will I pass out from PBing? Depends, I hardly ever PB

Will I have terrible pain in my chest like some people? Perhaps, but pay close attention and you'll learn how not to do that and then no.

Will I erode? extremely unlikely so no

Will complications from erosion in my stomach kill me? I've never heard of that happening.

Emotional:

Will I enjoy life without my food? You'll learn to love the fact you can have what you want and stop eating before you're gorged.

Will I ever be able to enjoy food again? Yes. I eat almost anything I want. You really can eat almost anything if you eat it slow enough. I choose to eat healthy most of the time because I didn't do this to eat cheeseburgers.

What will life be like without being able to just drink and eat whenever and however like before? Thinner and healthier. You'll be able to drink anytime except right before and after eating.

What will I do with my time without it being centered on eating and cooking? Center on cooking healthy meals that you enjoy. Center on making the foods you enjoy in a more healthful way. Made chicken chili tonight for the first time. YUM!

What will I do with my thoughts and emotions that can't be comforted with food anymore?? That's a good one. I'm still working on that. I am finding myself struggling with frustration and slight depression and that's not me. Can't figure out if it's winter blues, PMS, the band thing or all three. I get over pretty quickly (usually when my hubby apologizes whether it's his fault or not.) :puke:

I will learn to deal with stress in a different way. I'll have too. But you'll be amazed at how you will be able to deal with losing weight without being afraid of gaining it back. That's a pretty cool one.

Good luck to you!!! Hope this helps!

[wenderella 0]

I agree with everything that everyone has shared. The truth is, I was terribly afraid of the surgery as well. I did tons of research. I work in a hospital, and know that the risks were minimal, but we type A people just don't like giving Up control. You just need to move past the fears and anxieties and focus on the end result, which is a healthier, thinner and (hopefully) happier you!!! Best wishes!

[NeenBand 7]

Jack, I love your posts about how much you love your band, so to know that was an issue for you too, and your okay now really helps.

vluckey, your a gem. Your post did a lot to reassure me too.

Wenderella, your so right about the giving up control. I have big control issues, so I'm sure this is playing a part in all this.

If I could give everyone who posted in this thread a hug I would. Thanks so much for the support and helpful comments.