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The WHY ARE MEN SO WEIRD thread.



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HA! I knew you couldn't resist. Guys, this is NOT the "Why are women so weird" thread so don't even go there. If you want a thread to cluck about us, go start one.

This spousal unit of mine is too strange for words. The more I lose, the weirder he gets. He's off work temporarily. I figured he'd finally finish the tile job from 3 years ago. He didn't have time though because he was busy diamond-plating his workbench. Yes, you read that right. (Diamond plate is expensive shiny metal sheet stuff for backs of trailers n' junk.)

I recently needed his help out back, but he insisted he was too busy tied up on a project in the garage. Our house needs painted, the lawn is a mess, but we have plenty of nickels on a stick. Yes, you heard that right. The important project that kept him from fixing the pool pump was making nickels on a stick, only he get really pissed that I call them that. What? Oh, he was welding an Indian head nickel to a large nail. This way you kinda have a huge thumbtack to use for important stuff. I don't know what could be so important, but we've got nickels on a stick now.

Last night I ordered two whole pizzas for us. I had 1.5 pieces and planned on another 1.5 pieces tonight but there was only one piece left. It really pissed him off that I ate "his" last piece of pizza. Did I mention I (ME) was the one that ordered the two pizzas, and I was the one that picked them up, because I was the one that had a hankering?

How weird is your man?

Guys, here's your chance to defend yourselves by explaining the need for nickels on a stick.

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I got one.

My man is so wierd that he gets upset when I take a shower and use two towels instead of one, therefore leaving him a wet towel. One for my body, one for my hair. He is bald so he needs one and doesn't understand that I need two. He doesn't go and get another towel from the pantry before getting in the shower. Instead he just yells, moans, groans and whimpers dripping wet from the shower until I bring him a fresh towel. And then do you know what he has the balls to say???? "Can you warm it in the dryer honey." OMG! MEN!

And while we are on the subject... is my man the only one who refuses to change the empty toilet paper roll and will just lay it on the floor?

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Interesting you bring up the empty toilet paper roll after my earlier drip-dry experience. And I have a bidet, but was my little bidet towel around? Nope. It's a mystery because he didn't do it, so he says.

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LOL, I mean he gets out the new roll because he needs it. Then it ends up on the floor with the empty roll still on the darn spinner.

How long would that pizza box lay on the counter if you didn't walk it out to the garbage can? Mine would stay for WEEKS!

You have a bidet? Where?

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My man is weird because he's perfect. Wow, how did I score such a guy? *smiles* I mean that, completely.

We met online 7 years ago, happily married for 6 years. He's been there for me and my two now grown kids (he got to help out in the later teen years) in every sense of the word. Remarkable man. He's my best friend and takes such good care of me that it makes up for all of the sh*t Ive gotten in life from most other men I've known.

Love you honey *hugs her Dawg*

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Just last night, I was in the garage getting the long extention cord out to hook to the shop vac. He told me he was going to have to teach me how to unroll the extention cord! WTF! I could care less! As long as it works, that suits me just fine.

And the toilet paper things, I think I am the only person that knows how to put on a roll of paper! Even at my old job, I was the only one to do it, men will take it out of the wrapper, and sit it on the sink or on the floor.

And dishes, my DH will put his in the sink, rinse them off, but can't take the extra second to put them in the dish washer. If I am standing there, I'll say "Why don't you put them in the dish washer". Then and only then will he do it! Men!

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Awww shucks, scuffs a toe, looks embarrased.

If you keep that up my badass image will be completely shot.

As for why men are wierd:

If we weren't different... you'd be married to a woman.

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My husband bitches and moans about how I spend $11 on an eyebrow wax or OK $200 on a cut and colour. He is an accountant, BOY is he an accountant. Every penny spent in this household is budgetted, computerised, accounted for. I know that toilet paper was $1.99 for 8 rolls in 1993, because it's still there on our computer.

So I cop flack all the time about how irresponsible I am for not wanting to go round grey haired with eyebrows like a man. Apparently its my fault we're not rolling in it.

So why then, is it OK to pull out the entire front garden becuase it's a bit "messy", leave it bare for 2 freaking years, and then expensively, extravagently relandscape it, thereby spending $5,000 that wasnt necessary. I cant figure it out. But wait, he's also now pulled out the entire backyard - which wasnt as messy as the front, that's now been sitting bare for 18 months and this weekend he's out there, having spent $1,000 on timber to erect slatted screens around the pergola.

And he reckons my $11 eyebrow wax once every 8 weeks is the problem. Sheesh.

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My new man (only two months so he's still on good behavior for me) is wonky about parking spots. We go to the city for a date. We go to a parking garage. The man will pull into at least five different spots before deciding on one. He'll pull in....nope, that other car is too big and too close....back out....pull into another one....nope, this one is at an odd angle....back out....pull into another one....no, this one looks like it has a leaky pipe over it....back out.....you get the idea.

I have just learned to sit there quietly while the dance of the parking spaces goes on........

But he is a good man so I guess tolerating some parking space indecision is a small price to pay........

(edited cuz I think I got a little *too* naughty)

My man is weird because he's perfect. Wow, how did I score such a guy? *smiles* I mean that, completely.

No fair!!!! You are just saying that cuz your man is on the boards. I betcha you'd have something to add if your man wasn't looking. Dawg...look away, we need to talk to your woman!!!!

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*covers Dawg's eyes* No, not yet.

*whispers* Ok, there is one oddity about him. He has this thing for goats.

*laughs*

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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