Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Gossip @ work about my Lap Band surgery



Recommended Posts

I decided not to tell people except my manager about my band. Apparently now my whole department at work thinks I got my stomach stapled. I'm not offended that they think I got my stomach stapled. I'm annoyed for a few reasons.

1. That information is absolutely incorrect.

2. People are so willing to share my personal information.

3. They don't know anything about bands.

4. A coworker told me that people didn't think I needed wight loss surgery and actually compared me to an anorexic/bulemic having a distorted body image.

5. They don't know or understand my health/weight issues.

Frustrating!!! I don't want people sharing my business around the office. It honestly hurt my feelings. I started being proactive and telling people about the band to correct any rumors. And I casually brought up the band in conversation with the people that had been spreading the stapling rumors, just to set them straight. I'm not embarrassed by my band. I just don't want the world knowing before I want them to... and it's MY business.

Any advice or similar situation???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People just love to gossip...it sucks when you're the focus of it but eventually they get bored and move on to a new victim. Don't let it get to you too much. It will blow over before you know it. You might want to have a chat with your manager about sharing your personal information, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear that. Given time, things will settle down. Just focus on your journey to become healthy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I had my surgery I had a 2nd part time job I only worked at on Sunday's, when very few people were there. I told my manager I'd be out because I was having surgery. I did not say what kind because it's none of her business (I did tell my manager at my full time job). So when I came back my friend had td me they were speculating on wether I'd had weight loss surgery. Really! None of there business! I mean yeah, there were 2 other people there that had had it, 1 bypass, and 1 band, but still obviously if I didn't tell them it was my business. So people will talk. It sucks to deal with, but I guess since you see those people you might want to set them straight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Offices gossip and it's just a fact of life. Doesn't make it right or wrong, just makes it what it is. I think you should be proud that you took such a huge step and just focus on yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Or you can do what I did after my Manager announced to the entire department in a group meeting (40+ people who LOVE to gossip) that I'd be away from work for a few weeks "because Dave is having bariatric surgery." So much for keeping it to myself! I said, "Gosh, thanks, boss! Now the pressure is really on!" And I laughed about it. At that point there was no point in hiding anything.

I've since told anyone who asked what I've done to lose so much weight. Being open and honest about the surgery has done the most to dispel the rumors and questions. I work at a hospital, so it's really bad sometimes. "No, I do NOT have cancer. I'm fine! In fact, I've lost..." and I give them the whole messy story. i figure nobody should be able to gossip about me more than I can gossip about myself. By being proactive, I can head off the rumor-gossip before it starts. And if they do gossip, at least they'll have the facts. People tend to make up stuff if they don't know the real story.

And it truly helps some others. Just yesterday a new-hire nursing assistant asked me about my surgery. She is obese, and is desperately trying to lose weight. By the time we were done talking she was convinced to look further into banding. I think she'll do well with it, now that she knows someone who has had a good experience with it. I offered to share anything with her that she wanted to know about things. The only other person she knows who was banded has lost nothing to speak of, but as she said, "The woman LIVES on junk food." So there you go...

My personal philosophy about gossip, work attitudes, and such is like a sign I once saw on an office wall. It read, "When they're running you out of town, get in front of the crowd and make it look like a parade." :)

Dave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel ur pain. I have not returned to work yet, I took 2 weeks off. However, when I return, there should not be a rumor mill problem, since I told them I was just taking a vacation. I only told 3 people at work, my manager, & 2 other co- workers, 1 that attended the initial information session about the Band Surgery ( she was considering it as well). I'm not sure how I will handle or how I will respond to people who approach me. Since this was a very personal decision, I may just respond that way. "I've made some personal decisions and they are just that, PERSONAL and it would be nice if people respect that". Nice and sweet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haven't these people ever heard of HIPAA! Seriously! They need to quit with the gossip. You ARE entittled to PRIVACY!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haven't these people ever heard of HIPAA! Seriously! They need to quit with the gossip. You ARE entittled to PRIVACY!smiley-rolleyes005.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone at my job wanted to give me their opinions. Now that I'm 4 months out they just tell me how great I look. It all blew over, although it did annoy me. I took this opportunity to do some education with my fellow nurses, who were mostly misinformed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told everyone I had a hernia repair, which I did. I will eventually tell people about band. It does help that I lost a lot of weight before surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haven't these people ever heard of HIPAA! Seriously! They need to quit with the gossip. You ARE entittled to PRIVACY!smiley-rolleyes005.gif

I think HIPAA only applies to doctors offices and hospitals, not workplaces. Still, I agree that a supervisor at work has no right divulging private information.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×