Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

So disappointed in myself



Recommended Posts

As I was working out today...It hit me....On July 12th I have my first consult with the surgeon...I feel like I let myself down by looking for help in loosing weight...I have lost 80 on my own the good old fashion way...I need another 100 to loose...Why cant I do the rest on my own...I'm very confused...Knowing that I need to be healthy and feel good about myself...I just feel like I threw in the towel...Anyone else ever feel this way?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

NOPE!!!! The band is a tool designed to help you lose weight. It is not intended to do the work for you and by no means is it "throwing in the towel".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel that way all the time, but take a look at your weight loss history. Are you like me? taking 20-50 pounds off multiple times only to put them back on and then some. I am sure if you asked most people on this board they would say the same thing. I think getting the lap band is not just about getting the weight off, it is about using it as a tool to keep the weight off. That is how I am looking at it. As they say the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem, I am a food addict and I binge on food. I need something to help me control it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

NOPE!!!! The band is a tool designed to help you lose weight. It is not intended to do the work for you and by no means is it "throwing in the towel".

I second this! Without the band I may be able to loose but I always gain back + extra! It is a tool. You will still have to do the work! It is by no means a quick fix.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not one little bit. Tools were designed to be used. That''s why we drive cars, use the dish washer and put the laundry in a washing machine instead of beating it on a rock!

I must say, you should be very proud, you have done spectactular on your own and I can see why you are questioning it. The choice is yours to make but I'm not one bit ashamed of my decision.

Good Luck to you! Keep up the good work!

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't say I feel like I threw in the towel but I do have days where I ask myself why I even got banded. I don't regret it one bit but if I knew all I knew now..would I have ever gotten banded? Definitely not. Especially seeing as how I did it all without a fill. I don't have this so called 'restriction' and I never went after it. I just got my head and the game and pushed and pushed; could I have done it without a silicone ring? Dunno.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all soooo much for all the input...I cant believe this is such a big deal of a decision for me..All I have ever wanted was to be a healthy weight....With my health issues my insurance company will fast track this...I dont know why I'm so hesitant....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I third that :lol: you still have to do the work and make the right choices

I second this! Without the band I may be able to loose but I always gain back + extra! It is a tool. You will still have to do the work! It is by no means a quick fix.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are a lot of different ways that people (including us) perceive the band. Some of us do view it as "the easy way out" or "throwing in the towel." I do not. It is unlikely that anyone who spends the time and energy to use this site and chat with others made the decision to embark upon the journey of weight loss surgery with a cavalier attitude. For me, this has been a very emotional journey to admit 1) that I need help 2) that I am not completely at ease with my decision.

You've lost 80 pounds, that's incredible! Sounds like you have been working hard at it. I think you are making an affirmative decision to lose more weight and keep it off. It's just a tool, it can't lose the weight for you. The same hard work and decision making processes will gave to be in effect for this phase of your weight loss and it has been for the first 80 pounds,

In many ways I feel like a failure because I have not been able to keep a normal weight (or even just being simply overweight) for my entire adult life. I have made the changes I need to make the band as much of a success as possible for me. I'm done beating myself up for my mistakes. We have a whole world out there who judges us because we are heavy. We really don't need to pile on any more.

Congrats on your incredible success to date and however you go forward, I wish you health and happiness!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can understand where you are coming from and had some of those thoughts myself.

At the end of the day this is a tool and (in my opinion) of the options available probably requires the most work from the recipient of the band to make it work.

At the nd of the day i want to make 2 points.

1. I wonder how many people have died before their time because this tool was not available to them? It is available to us and we are incredibly lucky. Now cars are available not many people walk anywere?

2. I would rather live longer with a "tool" than die young living in the knowlege that you didn't use it!

Regards - and good luck

AJ

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Very well put

I can understand where you are coming from and had some of those thoughts myself.

At the end of the day this is a tool and (in my opinion) of the options available probably requires the most work from the recipient of the band to make it work.

At the nd of the day i want to make 2 points.

1. I wonder how many people have died before their time because this tool was not available to them? It is available to us and we are incredibly lucky. Now cars are available not many people walk anywere?

2. I would rather live longer with a "tool" than die young living in the knowlege that you didn't use it!

Regards - and good luck

AJ

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for a great perspective

There are a lot of different ways that people (including us) perceive the band. Some of us do view it as "the easy way out" or "throwing in the towel." I do not. It is unlikely that anyone who spends the time and energy to use this site and chat with others made the decision to embark upon the journey of weight loss surgery with a cavalier attitude. For me, this has been a very emotional journey to admit 1) that I need help 2) that I am not completely at ease with my decision.

You've lost 80 pounds, that's incredible! Sounds like you have been working hard at it. I think you are making an affirmative decision to lose more weight and keep it off. It's just a tool, it can't lose the weight for you. The same hard work and decision making processes will gave to be in effect for this phase of your weight loss and it has been for the first 80 pounds,

In many ways I feel like a failure because I have not been able to keep a normal weight (or even just being simply overweight) for my entire adult life. I have made the changes I need to make the band as much of a success as possible for me. I'm done beating myself up for my mistakes. We have a whole world out there who judges us because we are heavy. We really don't need to pile on any more.

Congrats on your incredible success to date and however you go forward, I wish you health and happiness!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The same thing happen to me last year. I lost 60 pounds last year and the week before my surgery I had to start my liquid diet and all of a sudden I changed my mind I thought I have lost all this weight on my own I don't need help. Now fast forward almost a year to the day and I had ended up gaining all the weight back that I had lost. I have decided to have the surgery now and I am actually meeting with my doctor today to find out what I need to do in order to have the surgery. I have been dieting and exercising for the last month and I have lost 20 pounds so far. I know I need the surgery because I have been riding the weight roller coaster for years and it is time to make a life change. I think we all get nervous it is natural, but you have to think what is best for you. Do you think you can loose the amount of weight that you need to loose and can you keep it off for the rest of your life? Do what is best for you that is what is most important.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I doubted my own need to get banded. Hey, I lost 27-28 pounds in 6 weeks! That was one-third of my excess body weight. Some people might say I'm crazy to get banded to lose only 57 pounds but these 57 pounds are horrible for me in every way. I've avoided being in pictures for years and looking back through my digital albums I see tons of photos with hubby and kids but few with me because I hid behind the camera. My weight keeps me from living life to the fullest and from enjoying good health. I'm sure, if left to myself without the band, I would have packed the weight I lost back on within 6 months. No doubt in my mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still doing it all by myself, even though I have the band. It hasn't gotten to the point that it stops me from eating what I want to eat- I am still making the conscious choice to eat certain foods and not others, and to control my portions. I can still eat just like before if I want to. So don't beat yourself up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×