Why to people get so angry about WLS?

sleepyjean · January 24, 2006

Maybe I've been living in a bubble, but I didn't realize how pissed off some people get if they hear someone has had WLS. I was doing some searching on Star Jones and Randy Jackson and Al whatshisface and couldn't believe how many nasty comments I came across. I mean, I know there are people who say it's the "easy way out" but why does that make people mad? It's almost a "you cheated, that's not fair" kind of thing. It's such a weird reaction to have. I mean, some people are born with tall genes while others never grow over 5 ft - that's not fair. Some people are born blondes and others brunettes - that's not fair. Some people are born looking like Charlize Theron, but most of us weren't - that's not fair.

What does WLS have to do with being fair? Even if it actually was the easy way out? The attitude seems to be "lose weight the old fashioned way or stay fat and suffer." Why is that?

banded_for_life · January 24, 2006

Good question Jean. I have had good responses from everybody that knows that I have had the surgery. The only negative comments I have had is from a relative who had bypass. She said I wasted my money and I wouldn't lose all my weight...I just smiled and said I disagree an walked off.

Sunta · January 24, 2006

I think it's because they are jealous they don't have the courage to do what's needed in their own lives to be successful, be it weight related or otherwise. Weight loss surgery is a very brave thing to do! I think it reminds them of the things in their own lives that they don't have the courage/knowledge/resources to change, and it makes them angry. And despite the fact that it's been proven by countless studies that the vast majority of people gain their weight back on regular diets, some people still are mired in the "traditional" way of doing things. It IS mind-boggling that anyone would be against a safe, effective method of weight loss, but then again, some people are always looking to the negative and ways to tear others down instead of supporting them. It's the old "put people down so you feel better about yourself" deal.

Jachut · January 24, 2006

Its a funny thing because we of all people should be understanding yet look how everyone jumps on the threads about this celebrity or that. Maybe its because we perceive they're not being truthful?

vinesqueen · January 24, 2006

I think part of it has to do with being fat is a sin. Glutton is one of the 7 deadly sins. Because we are fat, we are undeserving of pitty, of respect, of any understanding.

Only by the sweat of our brow, only through hard work shall we be redeamed from our sin.

People might feel that because we are having WLS we are taking the easy way out, that we are are short-cutting the system.

Jachut · January 24, 2006

Gosh, I've still got six other sins to work on. Dont hate me because I've conquered one of them!

Alexandra · January 24, 2006

The only people who react that way are people capable of feeling superior than others, and as such, people for whom I have little respect. Of all the people who know I had WLS, exactly one has expressed that position to me. And even she seems to have stopped thinking that way and has started being just supportive.

Ignore them. It has nothing to do with YOU.

LilAngel · January 24, 2006

defintely an important question these days...

i think the "easy way" theory is certainly a big part of it. it reminds me of those folks who seem to resent other folks who are born into money and don't have to work unless they want to. i can see why they are jealous. but i personally think the rich cats are lucky and why should i resent them for good fortune? know what i mean?

Spydr · January 24, 2006

Anyone who sees WLS as the "easy way" has not had it. Gas pain, port pain, not able to sleep on your belly, scars and such werfe not easy for me. WLS is hard work.

I too have encountered the "exercise and diet" people but the odd part of that is they are over weight! "How can you tell me that just diet and exercise work if you're fat?" They always say they don't have the disipline. What makes you think I do?

I'm doing whatever I can to lose weight and that should count for something. I'm proud of where I am and what I've done and I will fight w/anyone who feels like it! Bring on your closed minded nature. I'm ready for it!

mousecrazy · January 24, 2006

I'll just jump on here to lend you my support for your position. I did express these same views on the celebrity threads, and didn't get much love for them there. I wondered why people were mad at Star for not telling, when they themselves didn't want to tell. I wondered why those of us who have had lapband surgery, and post here to discuss how difficult it STILL is, would ever think that the surgery is the easy way out? It just doesn't make sense to me. What I was trying to get to was the idea that it might be worth exploring those thoughts...perhaps these people DO feel like they cheated the system...maybe they are not giving themselves enough credit for taking their situations and getting some control over them? It seems like self-hate turned outward. If that is a problem, we should look it over pretty carefully...it might be part of the reason we are where we are.

Please, know that I am not hating on anybody...just posting some ideas that interest me, and think they might be interesting to others in the interest of self-exploration.

We might all be happier if we weren't expecting everything to be fair.

ShavieLou · January 24, 2006

I think people, even overweight people, tend to think of being obese as the moral failing of weak and lazy people. If you're fat, you deserve to suffer...that's your penance. They think WLS is a way of bypassing the consequences of being weak and lazy. Hence, the "it's not fair" or "cheating" comments.

vinesqueen · January 24, 2006

yup, yup, yup. Being fat is definately seen as a moral failing, one of the 7 deadly sins. Someone started a thread "I hate fat people" quite some time ago, that was very insightful I'll see if I can find it and bump it. I think its' definately time to revisit that.

I don't really understand why being fat is so emotional for everyone. I find it rather facinating.

imalene · January 24, 2006

I've wondered about this.

Would we tell a diabetic person that they should be ashamed to take insulin if we knew they were one of those that could controll it with the food they eat?

Would we say anything negative to the person who has had heart bypass surgery - because he would never had gotten there if he had watched what he ate, watched his stress level, etc.

People are funny.

ava · January 24, 2006

Interesting question and one I've struggled with myself. When I chose to be banded, I only told 5 people. I had to explain to each of them what the surgery was (reversable, laproscopic, etc) before they would be supportive. Each thought that I was going to have RnY and they were worried about me having my insides rearranged. Okay...that's nice. My friends were worried about my overall health.

Since having the surgery, I've told many more people because I want to scream from the rooftops about how great it is. I have yet to find anyone who has blatently said "you took the easy way out" but I have one friend who won't discuss it with me at all. She was about 400lbs and has lost over 100lbs through diet and exercise. I KNOW that she's jealous and angry because she thinks I did it the easy way. However, I also know that, if she'd had the money, she would have chosen surgery too.

It's a conundrum.

hodegard · January 24, 2006

I've only noticed this type of response from two kinds of people:

1. People who have never had a battle with their weight in their entire lives. People who have never struggled with their weight don't understand why we don't just quit eating and start exercising. For them, it IS that simple, and they don't understand that that's not the case for everyone.

2. People who have unsuccessfully battled BIG weight problems. I'm not talking about the people who have 15-20-40 pounds to lose; I'm talking about the people who are extremely obese themselves. I have a customer who is in TOPS and is extremely heavy. She's eating junk food every time I see her, and she's extremely critical of the WLS patients who get the same weight loss "rewards" at their meetings as the the non-WLS people. (She doesn't seem opposed to the surgery; she just doesn't view it as a "valid" weight loss program, I guess.)