female only Fat Acceptance/Body Acceptance after Banding

[hhalphen 0]

I know some of us, a lot of us women, have trouble with our body image and self esteem while not banded. When banded sometimes the changes are really noticeable from week to week, and a new type of body dysphoria may develop. I know that my being 365 pre-band, and now down to 302 three years out makes me go insane sometimes with the way my body has changed. I am just posting here to help some people (I'm no whacked out doctor or anyone with an agenda of my own other than to help) with this weird change.

Fat acceptance, as I'm sure most of you have heard of, is acceptance of people of size. We are stigmatized constantly, and ridiculed almost to a breaking point. Sometimes this causes us to overeat, and gain weight, which makes us sad, which makes people poke fun, which makes us sad again, and the cycle continues. Fat Acceptance (or size acceptance) has helped me just kind of sit comfy with the changes I'm going through. I no longer say "big-boned" or "plump" or "plus size" when referring to myself, because I think (and this may be an unpopular opinion) that the term "fat" is much more polite. I'm now loathe to use euphemisms for anything, really. Some of you may just vehemently disagree with me, saying that being fat is a total end-all to life. That's why we are here, right? To get healthier and lose weight.

My point is this: No matter your reason for being here, the ones who are going through these bodily changes may be upset at the way they look or feel when trying on new clothing. I know that I have a flabby tummy and I'm in between sizes, which really racks my brain out in the dressing room. Looking into fat acceptance helped me be comfy with who I am and still want to lose weight.

If any of you are having this dysphoria, this weird feeling of desperation to somehow look normal through all these amazing changes, I really suggest looking into this movement. While not all of the things that are covered and talked about in the movement may pertain to you and your plight, it just may be that extra boost to help you through the tough emotions that come with WLS.

A book that helped me out was Fat!So? by Marilyn Wann, and various fatshion and fat acceptance blogs online.

Just passing on some help because I know I needed it two years ago.

Sorry if someone has said this before.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

You are definitely right on that one. I've lost 120 lbs but I have not lost it evenly. I am skin and bones in my face and chest and shoulders but I have fat thighs and butt and calves. I am very self conscious about this. So while I am letting go of some of my old body issues, I am developing new ones.

[Jachut 487]

I've come to realise that fat is just fat, its just a symptom of an illness that a large percentage of the population suffers from. To me, body image and acceptance is not tied to being fat. I have as many issues now and I'm freaking skinny! My BMI has dropped to 19 and I *STILL* see fat on my body that I'd like gone. If I actually see a photo of myself, I'm shocked - I'm much thinner than I see in the mirror. I am tryign to gain a little weight, but its on a superficial level to please my surgeon and oncologist and not because I see how skinny I am and realise I'd look better with a few more pounds on. I look in the mirror and see 80% satisifcation at a normal weight body with a bit of flab at hips and thighs and, frankly, terrible tits, lol.

I think the thing about fat acceptance is the moral issues we attach to obesity - I personally am quite disciplined in my eating now, I think about what I eat, and I ignore impulses to eat rubbish most of the time. I exercise almost fanatically. I really take care of myself. So I do find myself passing judgement on people sitting in the food court pushing KFC down their gobs - see, I even say it in a derogatory way! That's why obese people feel judged, becuase truthfully, they are. I even feel disgust for my own kids and the way they will eat if I let them. But that's so not fair. I think the problem is people these days give into their every whim and desire becuase they can, they want instant gratification every seond of the day, becuase its available. That's what leads to fatness. But its human nature to want that! It makes evolutionary sense to take the easy road, to eat food when its there, to eat food that will sustain. Lettuce or KFC, which is going to keep you alive the longest?

Personally, i think dealing with that kind of stuff is what it takes to accept yourself as a fat person. But I dont believe you have to accept yourself AS fat, if that makes sense, you dont have to say "I'm a big person and I'm happy this way" (which none of us are or we wouldnt be here). I think it means "I've fallen prey to the dangers society presents, just like most other people have. This is the effect its had on my body, but I'm smart and I'm going to do something about it". That way, ANY weight loss, ANY improvement in lifestyle behavour is a triumph and it doenst all become about losing ALL your weigh tor fitting into a certain size, but more about your ability to choose your own path and stick to it.

[hhalphen 0]

I agree with you Jachut. I know a lot of FA preaches about the word fat and how you should just accept the word, and from speaking to people on the subject I've found that people adapt to their word of choice. If "fat" makes a person feel worse than "heavy", they would use "heavy" more. I was just posting my example.

I'm actually on a plateau right now, so the FA is really helping me not become depressed about my situation. However, unlike a lot of Fat activists, I'm one of the outsiders because I still want to lose weight in a sea of people who are perfectly fine the way they are--not to mention I had WLS to help me on this road. I'm in the middle of calling obesity a disease and a load of crap sometimes, just based on what I read about FA. It's a slippery slope if you don't really know what ground you're on beforehand. Some people use FA to rebel against whatever social stigmas they have attracted, some use it to justify their lifestyle, and some (like me) use it just simply to feel better about a certain issue.

I'm trying to curb my judgment because I know how destructive it was for me growing up, and it's hard. It's like calling a chair a table. You're so used to the idea that this object is a chair, but now your perspective is changing (either willingly or forcibly) and it takes development of habit to call it a table.