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Advice needed, please.



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I just had my first fill via my doctor. I've heard from people that he's a hard ass, but I guess I had no idea. I had followed the eating plan given to me, but midway through my six week recovery, I came down with the flu (I didn't exercise during that time). I still managed to lose 17 pounds before my doctor's visit. Once I got to his office this past week, he told me how terribly he thought i'd done. He said for someone my size, I should have lost 30 pounds and I was failing. I've always heard that any weightloss in the healing stage is good weightloss, am I right? We went over my food and the foods he recommends contradicts what the nutritionist gives you in a meal plan. He had me speak to another patient (who was bigger than me) and had managed to lose 35 lbs in 6 weeks. Am I missing something? You seasoned bandsters, can you please give me some advice? Thanks!

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I have no advice......I am still in awe that your doctor would talk to you that way....hardass or not.

Sorry, I just have no tolerance for people like that.

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I just had my first fill via my doctor. I've heard from people that he's a hard ass, but I guess I had no idea. I had followed the eating plan given to me, but midway through my six week recovery, I came down with the flu (I didn't exercise during that time). I still managed to lose 17 pounds before my doctor's visit. Once I got to his office this past week, he told me how terribly he thought i'd done. He said for someone my size, I should have lost 30 pounds and I was failing. I've always heard that any weightloss in the healing stage is good weightloss, am I right? We went over my food and the foods he recommends contradicts what the nutritionist gives you in a meal plan. He had me speak to another patient (who was bigger than me) and had managed to lose 35 lbs in 6 weeks. Am I missing something? You seasoned bandsters, can you please give me some advice? Thanks!

You're not the first person posting on here about a doctor who is out of line and when I see them I reply because I left my original surgeon because he was a jerk.

Here are my thoughts and suggestions:

-You are supposed to lose about 1-2 pounds a week and you seem to be doing that, despite the flu.

-Your doctor is wrong to compare you to anyone else and for him to have to talk to someone who lost more than you is a violation of your HIPPA rights, insensitive and embarassing for everyone,

-If your nutritionist is telling you one thing and him another you need to discuss this.

In fact you need to discuss all of this with him. I don't know if you're an assertive person or how far you want to take this - but you need to tell him he is out of line, that your weight loss if fine, and you will be the judge of whether you feel successful or not. You could also pursue reporting him to the hosptial administrator about violating your HIPPA rights. You should also look for another doctor. I know that is easier said than done as many won't accept other's patients. But your post-op follow ups are very important and your doctor doesn't sound very knowledgeable.

He sounds like many that I complain about on here - he jumped on the WLS bandwagon to make $$$, his surgical skills are adequate, but his knowledge of the band, how it works, the expectations, etc.. are inadequate. And these doctors, who I think are often unsure of themselves, base their own success on their patient's weight loss.

I am glad I left my original surgeon and found one who is knowledgable. What a difference it made.

I hope you can too, If not, then you need to address these issues with this doctor, hard ass or not. Don't allow yourself to be a victim.

Good luck.

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I don't have any advice either...I am shocked that the doctor would act like that.:angry: I am so sorry that your experience is turning out this way. I think that your loss is AWESOME and to continue to do what you are doing! :P

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Is his behavior rude? Probably. Whether your privacy rights were violated it's hard to tell. If you gave the other person specific information about your medical condition possibly. If he asked that person to speak with you regarding their own experiences probably not. Speed of weigh loss that's a difficult one. There are posters on this board who weighed less than me at the time of their surgeries and have lost quicker. I have followed my doctors eating plan and exercise seven days a week for an hour. My journey to surgery was longer than most and I lost 50 pounds. Am I loosing slower now because I had lost a lot of weight presurgery? Possible.

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Is his behavior rude? Probably. Whether your privacy rights were violated it's hard to tell. If you gave the other person specific information about your medical condition possibly. If he asked that person to speak with you regarding their own experiences probably not. Speed of weigh loss that's a difficult one. There are posters on this board who weighed less than me at the time of their surgeries and have lost quicker. I have followed my doctors eating plan and exercise seven days a week for an hour. My journey to surgery was longer than most and I lost 50 pounds. Am I loosing slower now because I had lost a lot of weight presurgery? Possible.

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I just had my first fill via my doctor. I've heard from people that he's a hard ass, but I guess I had no idea. I had followed the eating plan given to me, but midway through my six week recovery, I came down with the flu (I didn't exercise during that time). I still managed to lose 17 pounds before my doctor's visit. Once I got to his office this past week, he told me how terribly he thought i'd done. He said for someone my size, I should have lost 30 pounds and I was failing. I've always heard that any weightloss in the healing stage is good weightloss, am I right? We went over my food and the foods he recommends contradicts what the nutritionist gives you in a meal plan. He had me speak to another patient (who was bigger than me) and had managed to lose 35 lbs in 6 weeks. Am I missing something? You seasoned bandsters, can you please give me some advice? Thanks!

Yeah your dr is a dick. Unless you had bypass 30 pounds in 6 weeks a LOT. 17 pounds in 6 weeks is pretty good, I would either tell your dr to stuff it and lose the nasty bedside manner. I've just been banded this week and I promise you if my dr talks to me like that I will walk out the door and he can go f himself, I'm not paying him thousands of dollars to be treated like crap. Everyone loose weight at their own pace, you can't be bullied in to it. If that were the case then there would be no fat people anywhere.

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What Information is Protected (in HIPPA)

Protected Health Information. The Privacy Rule protects all "individually identifiable health information" held or transmitted by a covered entity or its business associate, in any form or media, whether electronic, paper, or oral. The Privacy Rule calls this information "protected health information (PHI)."12

“Individually identifiable health information” is information, including demographic data, that relates to:

  • the individual’s past, present or future physical or mental health or condition,
  • the provision of health care to the individual, or
  • the past, present, or future payment for the provision of health care to the individual,

and that identifies the individual or for which there is a reasonable basis to believe it can be used to identify the individual.13

What your doctor did was an oral breach of your medical condition. The fact that you even had this surgery is protected information, much less how much you lost and this information should not be given to another patient. That patient's HIPPA was violated, too, as you have no right to know about their WLS or how much they lost. What this doctor did was unethical. In my opinion, you should contact someone in the office that handles HIPPA complaints and get some additional information on your options.

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I would be devastated if my doctor talked to me like that. I feel so bad for you. The only advice I have is to find a more compassionate doctor.

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Thanks everyone for the advice. Your feedback has helped greatly.

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Your doctor sounds like a real jerk. 17 pounds in the first 6 weeks is a good start, and I think most people agree that different people get different results. My weight loss after 6 weeks was similar, and I was encouraged for a good start.

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I would certainly dump his a$$ and switch to a more knowledgable, supportive doctor. I cannot believe he treated you that way! I'm SO sorry!!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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