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What has being fat kept you from doing?



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Last night I went to my daughters school for a family night. When we got there they were putting on a skit from a book that the kids had read and wanted the children to participate. The woman running the skit said will you be the momma skunk?, I stood there for a second and the word YES was out of my mouth before I knew it.:thumbdown: Well, my role was to be the momma skunk to my babies, which my daughter was one of, and teach them how to spray what we are aiming at. SOO, I had to aim my big ol' butt and shake itttttt.:tongue2::eek::lol: The kids were laughing and having a good time and they started doing it too. It was a lot of fun.

In the car on the way home my 6 year old daughter said, "Momma that was really fun. I feel really happy." Well, I got all teary eyed :) because I thought to myself, how much silliness and fun have I caused her to miss out on because I know full well that 65 pounds ago I would never have gotten up there in front of all those people and did that. I did my best to blend in, forget stand out and shake my butt! Having that time with her and knowing that her comment was genuine is the best thing that has come out of me having the band so far. I look sooo forward to all the memories that we are going to make since I have gotten this wonderful opportunity to start over!

How about you guys have you had anything similar happen?? A moment that you realized you are begining to do things you would never have done before?

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That is a great story! Not being confident with my body holds me back from enjoying a lot more than I openly realize. I can't wait to get this weight off and regain confidence!

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Should I make a List or just say a few things!

Hanging out with friends, Hunting, Fishing, Sports, Going to the Movies/Shows, Trips.

I could go on.

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The one that is fresh in my memory is the disabled Veterans take a ski trip once a yr. My husband and I have never been snow skiing. So since my husband is a disabled Veteran we went to the outing. My legs were so fat they couldn't fit in any of the ski boots. And since I really didn't have snow clothes, they had extra gear that I could use. Nothing fit me. I was so embarrassed. I had to sit at the lodge with nothing to do except reflect on how fat I was. My husband said we could go home, but I put on my game face for him and told him to have a great time that I would embark on other activities (which there wasnt anything else unless I wanted to sit at the kiddy table with the toddlers). I hope when it's time for the trip next yr I won't face the same problem.

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I loved your story. Being heavy has destroyed my self confidence. I dont want to leave the house or participate in anything. My kids are not enrolled in sports, I do not volunteer my time at the school and I avoid all social situations where I may run into someone who used to know me (I was always thin until about 10 yrs ago). I always feel like I am the heaviest person in the room where ever I go, parents night at school where we have to sit in our kids desks (right, that's going to happen), class concerts (barely fit in the auditorium seats). I know it is just me doing this, but I always feel like people stare at me because of it too.

Being heavy has kept me from living. I had my surgery 8/25/10 and am already down 27 lbs. I feel better and am ready to start changing my behaviors that kept me cooped up!

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Great story!

The biggest things that I feel fat felt me from doing are standing up for myself and dating.

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Great story. Totally!

I made my husband go to a few weddings by himself. I never went to his office parties. I've always been a good athlete but didn't participate in anything. Didn't go to college or graduate school reunions. The list goes on...

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I have avoided going to see my husband at work and attending any of his office's social functions because I don't want them to know he has a fat wife :thumbup:

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Going to the beach with friends

Wearing a bathing suit

Dating

Being able to shop in regular stores

Feeling like a normal person

Being confidant

....

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Wow that is a really good story! I got banded in in september of this year and we have almoost the same starting weight and the same exact goal weight. I have a 6 month old and he truly is the reason I'm doing this and cannot wait to make these kind of memories with him :thumbup:

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I am guilty of many of the things posted by others. The list can go on and on and on...

But, I was wondering how many of these self-imposed limits really were needed. I wonder if people really are THAT critical of us. Yes, I have been the butt of jokes and rude comments, but looking back those incidents were in the minority compared to the many people I interact with daily. Those negative things are the things that stick with us the most.

Just pondering this along with the other mysteries of life.:thumbup:

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In the car on the way home my 6 year old daughter said, "Momma that was really fun. I feel really happy."

Awwww. That's so cute!

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5 months out and 60 lbs down....i am finally confident enough to "do it" with the lights on. heheheh to be honest the lights never go off now....sorry if this is tmi!

outwardly I was never afraid to do stuffor talk to people....butwhen I walked away I just knew they were talking about me. I was a master at faking it (my confidence that is haha) around people...now I have that real confidence!

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Thank you guys for sharing your stories. I feel so glad for all of us that we are starting over, yet I feel sad for us that we have allowed what other think to influence us for so long.

I knew that the lapband would change the way I looked on the outside but I cant tell you how happy it has made me that it is changing me on the inside too. Self confidence is something that I thought I had, fat and all. Now I know I was so wrong, it was a show to have people think I was stronger than I really was. The real confidence is just starting to come to the surface.

This board has been such a wonderful link to what this journey is about. You guys rock!:thumbup::woot:

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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