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Now that I have been banded since June, and am getting my eating habits under control...I am seeing VERY clearly how much time I have spent focusing on food. I don't have to focus so much anymore but. . there's a hole left where my friend, food was. I have to fill this hole with something but I don't know what! I can only clean the house and excercise for so long. I am somewhat embarrased by how much extra time I have now that food isn't my main focus in life (pretty much)! :unsure:

Thanks for listening...

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Maybe find a genre of books you may enjoy, music, meditation, writing, painting, .... im on my own path of discovery..not banded yet but quit smoking and i am definatly trying hard not to fill that void with food. I am feeling the lonliness pain too!

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I replace my food with whatever is needed for the emotion that is driving the desire to eat. If I am bored I play a video game, read, watch a movie, do my hobby (make jewelry), call a friend or family member. If I am lonely I make a phone call, ask my H to spend some time with me without the TV, ask a friend to come over. If I am hurting emotionally I ask for comfort from friends and family. If I am hurting physically I do something to address the pain.

I am working on the happiness trigger. So far it is shopping or playing board games.

I also quit smoking and went on a diet and quit work at the same time! I had to find some coping skills quickly!

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Thanks guys! I can't imagine quitting smoking AND giving up food. UGH, way to go!

Eadreel, I'm no good at asking for help when I truly need it (which is probably why I'm in this predicament in the first place!) I think I might pick up the guitar again! Keep my hand busy! :unsure:

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Thanks guys! I can't imagine quitting smoking AND giving up food. UGH, way to go!

Eadreel, I'm no good at asking for help when I truly need it (which is probably why I'm in this predicament in the first place!) I think I might pick up the guitar again! Keep my hand busy! :unsure:

It was really hard to ask for the emotional stuff for me. Asking for people to address my pain or loneliness. I didn't like being that vulnerable. It is still hard to do, but I do it now because it is good for me and has made a HUGE improvement in my life over the past year or so.

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I can only clean the house and excercise for so long.

Thanks for listening...

You can come clean mine if that will help??:unsure:

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I have filled my time with long walks and reading. My worst time is at night after the kiddos go to bed. I have begun clipping on the ipod and taking long walks. Usually after exercise my desire for food is gone. I have also bought a Kindle and am reading so much more than I used to.

It is a hard thing to do.....find a replacement for food. I still find myself mentally planning and looking forward to my next meal. I have also caught myself going to the cupboard and fridge to graze like I used to. I don't think that for any of us this urge to eat will go away anytime soon. It was such a large part of our lives for so long that the emotional need isn't just going to disappear because we are now banded.

I really wish us all luck!

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I thought it was just me. I feel so empty inside. Which I'm realizing is loneliness, not hunger. Our close friends don't seem so much like friends as eating buddies. I never really paid attention to how many times we met them at restaurants, how all our activities circled around food and drinking.

Now I am on a mission to find new friends, yesterday we went to a meeting (at a pizza place) for people who ride ATV's in our area. It was great, we met so many nice people our age, we already have plans to meet a group of them Saturday for a Sand Sports convention that is in town.

Today I woke up with a new feeling. A feeling of determination. Now off for my morning walk. I can do this!

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It's good to know we're not alone, even though we feel like it! :thumbup: Thanks for all the feedback peeps.

Eadreel: You're soo right, it's hard to ask for emotional support but that's part of getting healthy I think!

Jalomum: Forget it my friend! No cleaning. . LOL!

Happymom: Sooo very true. . .it's really process not a one time event.

Hbrhonda: That sounds soo fun! One day, I hope to be part of a running club. . . ahhh. . one day!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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