Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My band and the first date



Recommended Posts

Okay...so this evening I had a sorta kinda date......

Quick background...I was with the same guy for seven years and we parted ways two years ago. So it's been ~9 years since I had to "think" about dating. I'm a little...shall we say....rusty.

Needless to say, I was INCREDIBLY nervous. I also had a sh*tty day at work...I mean a REALLY stressed out sh*tty day. So I was a bit spun up by the time the evening rolled around.

So......since we were meeting for drinks, I wanted to be sure I ate something because since being banded, it takes only a little drink to make me VERY drunk. But having food in the belly helps. I had a Protein bar around 4 but we met at 6. So I was hungry again.

So we got some chicken wings. I have had good luck with the wings at this very place. I mean, fine in the past. Perfect bandster food.< /p>

Not tonight. Yes, you guessed it. Katrinka (my band) began to act up. I got STUCK. : cry :

So I was able to nonchalantly go to the restroom and had a quick PB. So I went back to the table. I thought I was "all clear" so I tried a bit more chicken. By this time he's noticing that I wanted food but am not eating...or drinking.

I eat a bit more chicken. And I get STUCK. Big stuck. Not sorta. Not a little. Big stuck. Katy bar the door stuck. STUUUUUCK.

So I'm sitting there in SO much pain...trying to just get through but it's getting worse and worse.....I'm trying to listen to what he's saying while NOT barfing at the table.

I'm fidgeting. There is no comfortable way to sit. I am in AGONY. That little bit o' chicken is now a GOLF BALL. Ow.

He finally asks "are you okay?" I had to admit I wasn't. I said "I'm having terrible reflux" and he said he understood.

I got up and ran to the bathroom again. PB'd BAAAAAAD. Oy. Eyes watering, the whole nine yards.

So I get back to the table, sheepish and just said something like "oh I had to go burp" or something like that. He laughed and I felt MUCH better at least about the stuck but felt like SUCH an idiot about the whole sequence of events.

I seemed to do okay recovering from that. But ay god!! I have these big plans in my head for being *cool* and all cavalier. Uh..no. First date out of the chute and I'm in the bathroom barfing up chicken wings.

:sob:

And of course I like the guy....so OF COURSE Katrinka gets wacky. First impressions are everything right? His first impression is me doing a five yard dash to the bathroom.......why me god? WHY?

: cry :

Anyhow, at the end of the night he did suggest we "do this again" so maybe that is a good sign. Maybe I'm not out of the running. Or maybe he was just being nice.

If we do go out again I'm TOTALLY eating before hand.....I just can't do that again.

Great. Just great. I want to be pretty, alluring, mysterious, desirable. What I am is pukey.....eye watery.....chicken in the esophagus.

Great. Just dandy.

Ya'll say something nice to help me feel better. I'm beating myself up pretty good.......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Could the fact that you were a little nervous influenced your tummy? Relax, I think that if he doesnt stay interested then he was the one who losses out, Right? You sound sweet, and maybe your next date can be a do something date not a sit at a table date. Who wouldnt want to date a woman who is taking very good care of herself! Your belief in yourself makes you the good catch!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Think of it this way, youve broken the ice! Next date you can relax its no longer the FIRST date!

Hugs*

Nana~

Nana! Thanks for the hugs, I need 'em. And yeah, you make a good point....it's no longer the first date. Here's hoping I get a second chance to make a good impression!!

You sound sweet, and maybe your next date can be a do something date not a sit at a table date. Who wouldnt want to date a woman who is taking very good care of herself! Your belief in yourself makes you the good catch!

Okay, I like that idea. Next date isn't an "eating" date. Yeah, I like that idea a lot!! I also think I need a little fill taken out. I've been struggling with it anyway...hmmm. Thank you as well Victoriana!! Your words are so kind. Like salve on an open wound!!!

So now "the next day" I still feel really goofy about the whole thing. I guess the whole "will he or won't he call me" thing is on. I told the whole story to the person who set us up and she said in her opinion, he's so easy going that it probably wasn't a big deal. Here's hoping.

Thanks to my LBT family for giving me support!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well Karen I would like to know what are safe/date foods. I always think about that. I may want Soup because I know it won't get stuck but it can drip on me. I try to stay away from meat ie chicken, pork, beef. I have been getting seafood but it is not always great because it is not a seafood place. I want to drink but you can't drink and eat. What are we suppose to do.

Don't wait for him to call. You plan something that you are comfortable with and invite him. No chicken in the picture please. Ice cream always go down so invite him out for dessert. I know I would. Me personally I would tell him about the band. I find it hard to not tell.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh Karen! you poor thing!

Man, I hate first dates! Good thing I've got a steady beau now (sure, I married him, makes him all the more steady!)

And yeah, the next time won't be a first date, so you can relax. Just make sure the next one is something like bowling or other activity. At least you didn't barf on yourself or at the table!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At least you didn't barf on yourself or at the table!

LMAO...Oh Karen, you are comic relief to me this afternoon! I'm sure you didn't botch it for good with this guy. I agree, call him first and meet for ice cream. AND tell him about the band. Admit your embarassment. If he's worth his salt, he'll be interested in your band, supportive, will laugh with you, and know it wasn't HE that made you so miserable! Guys can be just as sensitive. The good ones anyway. Well, except my hubby, who often doesn't "get it" but makes up for it in other areas :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At least you didn't barf on yourself or at the table!

You know Vines, this is what my friend said too. I said "God hates me..." (joking!) and she said "No, if Got hated you, you wouldn't have made it to the bathroom on time!"

So...that's a VERY good point! But still.....I'm just *horrified* how it all went down. Yes, no eating next time!!!!

I try to stay away from meat ie chicken, pork, beef. I have been getting seafood but it is not always great because it is not a seafood place.

Yeah, for some reason, shrimp works for me. Note to self: order the shrimp next time......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL....Karen, too funny!! Now mind you I am laughing with you not at you. Man first date blues, whewww...scary, I used to go on blind dates off my personal ads on the net...sheesh...the date (horror)stories I could tell you. I do feel for you and agreeing with the other posters about the ice cream date or bowling. Best of luck, Karen. *huggs*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks banded_for_life. Believe me, laughing at, with, near, around me is ALWAYS appropriate!!!! If I can't laugh at myself I'd be DOOMED.

Good news: He's contacted me today via iChat. I guess I didn't TOTALLY scare him off!!!

Yay me! Barfing on the first date! Wheee!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×