Suicidal thoughts with obesity?

[Billie Elaine 0]

I'd say, "No, I've never considered suicide as an option." Although, I have wondered and asked God why he let me live through the wreck and live with all this pain and gaining weight at a tremendous rate. Just when I'm on a "pity party", I wonder why I was allowed to live. But when I'm doing okay (which is most of the time), I'm happy I lived.

Anyone else out there who is morbidly obese and has physical limitations that doesn't allow a lot of exercise?????

[FuelMan 2]

I will have to ask you "Billie" How much do you weigh ??? I ask this because....... if you are really fat like I am/was, you don't really have to answere the qustion. Because everyone know's the answere, and it's YES. You are killing yourself with a fork. It's slower then a gun or a jump, or pills, but killing yourself it is. I am not wanting to pee in your corn flakes, BUT.......... let's wake up and smell the coffee, being as fat as some of us are, is wanting to die, just on the installment plan. If you are way fat (like me) and you contniue to...... "eat like your going to the chair". Then that is a death wish, plain and simple. I think if we start looking at ourself's in a truer light, it will make us more honest with ourself's and than we can start being honest in others areas of our lives. We fatty's live in a world of denile and don't want to be woken up. We make excuses and lie so much that we start to believe them ourself's. We tell others......... "well, I don't eat that much, I hardly ever eat Breakfast, and I just have a salad for lunch". WELL, "Billie" that is just a load of crap, we have eaten 3 breakfast's, and maybe we had a salad for lunch, but after that we stopped at a fast food drive thru and ordered up a, "Big Ol'Bag Full" and ate it on the way back to work or home.

It takes a lot of work and food to keep this kind of weight on, and we think we got everyone bam-boozeled, but the only one we are kidding is ourself's. I am saying this to you Miss Billie, but I am also saying it to all the other fatties out there who are asleep and in a blissful state of denile, and refuse to wake the heck up. I wish I had woken up a lot sooner then at age 50 !!!!!! I am working on this everyday, and someday's are better then others, and sometimes I am in this mode of self-destruct, and others I am in love with "Butchie" and want to eat correct. At least I am at the 50/50 mark and just need a little push. That little push will happen in June when I get another fill, and this time I will max it out. Then I will beable to lose the extra fat and get a pacemaker installed. I hope you where not too offended by this, but than again.............

Butch Seaman

[j_war06 0]

WOW cant believe this thread is still alive! I commented on this thing like 2 YEARS AGO!! Amazing! Ive been very proud of myself, Ive resisted the urge to hurt myself for 2 YEARS!! I cant believe that, that is such a milestone for me! Not even one suicide attempt in OVER 2 years! I mean, my life before was heaven with peaches and cream compared to now! lol! And Im coping! Simply amazing

[Justme106 0]

Everyone has a different answer to that poll.. I think it all It all depends in what u are going trow an the people around u If u have negative people around u that put u down an call u names, or u get depress when u go shopping because things dont look right or people look at u because u are bigger then them then that though may cross ur mind...

If U have people around u that support u then It dosent.. It all depends in what we are living at that moment of our lives ..

[Justme106 0]

Congratulations on ur prenancy Life is great live it to the fulles specially now that u are expecting a child see it as a blessing an enjoy every moment

good luck

[j_war06 0]

Oh I enjoy it, except for the possible complications that are arising. I just cant believe how well Ive done over the past year especially! Im so glad this thread is still alive so that I could see how far Ive come...Im so proud of myself, for once in a long time lol! I mean this past year is hell on earth compared to when I wanted to kill myself, but I wouldnt take it back for anything because it has taught me SOOOOO much!!! Im so excited about the baby, ofcourse I have my worries (aside from health issues) but God has given me a great and precious gift and Im SO excited

[insubordination 0]

I remember being 11 or 12 and weighing 250 and sitting on the floor in the bathroom with a razor blade and examining my veins. I had forgotten about that until I read this thread. Man that's tragic.

[pvchickie 0]

I attempted suicide......I then was diagnosed as having bipolar and major depression. I attempted for many reasons and almost got my wish.

food or obesity or the band didn't have a part in me attempting. But.....when i attempted I gained weight....lots of weight from all the depression/bipoar meds.

It'll be five years ago this Jan 23 that my life took a turn and I didn't die. I had been thin (size 8) and taught an exercise class three times a week.......then mental illness happened. In five years i've gained 120 lbs.

I decided to get the band because I want to feel good about myself. The band is helping to increase my self esteem. I am thankful for this.

I know that I have a purpose in life. I am taking steps to lose weight and care for my life.

God is good and I am thankful for that!

[insubordination 0]

I'm happy to hear you are doing much better now.

[-acl- 0]

I have major depression. I attempted suicide about 6 years ago, and have considered it many times before and after my attempt.

My weight contributed to my depression in a big way, although it wasn't the only factor.

I was hospitalized for about 5 weeks after my attempt (pills), and on day release at home with my family, I told DH i was just ducking down to the shops, drove around for a few hours trying to get up the guts to drive my car at high speed into anything that looked solid enough... but couldn't do it, thank god. I am now grateful that my attempt failed.

For people that haven't seriously considered suicide, I want to point out here that once someone has got it in their head that this is the path for them - there is often no reasoning with them, they are not thinking straight.

I have a family, 2 beautiful children and a fantastic husband, and I love them all dearly. But at the time you don't consider how much your actions will destroy their lives. You think they will be better off without you around. I personally do believe suicide is selfish, but that is the last thing on these peoples minds, they are not rational and are in extreme emotional/mental pain, nothing else matters.

I have gotten help with my problems, both mentally and physically (now I have my band). I will admit that I deeply regret putting my loved ones through all that bullshit, and I am glad to be alive today, my mindset is a complete turn around to what it was a few years ago.

I hate my fat so much that a few years back I actually considered taking a knife to it, and cutting it all off... I haven't shared that one with anyone before, because I know how deranged it sounds, but I thought being here, a few of you may just understand that one...

Thanks for reading and also sharing your stories.

I just want to point out that my post may sound like I'm a complete nut-job, but really I'm not...

[swstacey1977 0]

first off, Congrats to you Butch for your success. I have to say that I somewhat dis agree with you about people who over eat want to die. Drunks who are told that if they don't stop, they will die don't nessacarily want to die. they have a diesease. they lack self control, some are so far gone that they have to have the acholol in their bodies just to maintain every day activities. now, do they have issues? i am sure they do just as over eaters do but that does not mean they or we want to die because we are drinking to much or eating to much. it comes from many things. what we saw or lived through as children, the type of enviroment we lived in, lack of motivation, lack of self control, we enjoy it to much, don't want to stop. just like somenoe who smokes. they know it is killing them but they love smoking, they don't want to stop or they have tried but have not quite been successful. it does not mean they want to die. I am 125 pd over weight. I have tried so many ways to lose weight and get healthier. spent so much money. my grandfather died at 600 pds, almost my whole family is obese. genetic, definetly. but even at my highest weight, i never, NEVER thought of killing myself. i knew i was out of control and that i was addicted to food and to eating but I never thought, "man, I am going to have this donut and i hope it kills me. "

[Toosywoots 1]

No suicidal thoughts but I sure would like to do severe bodily harm to the people with the judgemental looks and nasty remarks I get.

[Orange 0]

I have thought about suicdial thoughts seriouly and it often brings me comfort but deep inside I know it is not an option and I can call for help sometimes I get tired of the struggle and needing to be strong. I find being in the present and not in the past or future. Offers a gift in itself and strenght to carry on.

Orange

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Just had to add my experience to this thread...I did answer the poll - yes, I've considered suicide, but never made any serious plans to do away with myself.

I've thought about it during big upheavals in my life - after the death of my father (I was 9); after the failure of my first marriage; recently when finding out about electronic infidelity in my current marriage, and at times throughout my life when I particularly felt the burden of carrying 100+ pounds that my body wasn't meant to carry.

Each time what has stopped me is what I refer to as the 'fighting spirit'. Taking my life would mean that those I felt did me wrong WON - and sometimes that was ME who did me wrong by not controlling my eating better. I wasn't going to let the darkness take me - I felt I had a purpose for being here, and though I'm not clear on what that is yet, I'm still looking...

Maybe not the best rationale, but hey, whatever keeps me here is what keeps me here. I find journaling helps me - I've had a diary in some form or another since I was 9, and though I've lost some of the oldest books, I still have quite a few. It's amazing how your thought process can change over the years.

Now, I'm determined to live my life. Truly live it for me and for those I love...I have a daughter who needs me (though at 17 1/2, probably not for much longer), and a brand-new grandchild who is the apple of my eye. I'm involved in activities that I love, and I'm rebuilding the trust with my spouse. Life is good...

Now when I get the band (finally!) I'll be able to rid myself of the excess weight that I believe is holding me back from truly reaching my potential and flying. Whether that means I fly away from my "former" life and move on, or stay here and work through it, I don't know.

I only know that I refuse to leave this world until I am called home...and when it is my time to go, I'll leave with a smile. I feel for those who have attempted to take their own lives because of pain - I wish I could hug you and help you feel better. I understand those who mention taking their life because of illness or chronic disability - though I don't know if I could do it, I respect their right to end their lives the way THEY want.

I regret that our society refused to admit that there ARE circumstances when people in their "right" minds choose to leave this world and refuses to allow them to be with their loved ones when they implement the choice. I wish it were different - but I wouldn't necessarily want to be the person that gave them "official permission" to do so...

[myturn0421 0]

I have to say I'm kinda in the middle. I'm not sure where to cast my vote. I've never had suicidal thoughts, but I was an active cutter for several years after high school, and I had a relapse (if that's what you call it) when I was 26. I gained a lot of weight pretty quickly and I felt like I just couldn't control how much I was eating. Somehow in my depressed state, I figured out that if I cut myself when I thought about food, I could control it. It ended up just be another thing I couldn't control. When I think back - it scares me how depressed I was, and no one knew it. Either my family was blind, or chose not to see it. I am thankful everyday for my DH.