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Please help! I helped my daughter get the lapband exactly 2 years ago..she had 60 pounds to lose and is at her targeted weight. However, I feel like she has developed an eating disorder along the way. She fills her plate up at a meal and goes to the bathroom at least 4-5 times while we're eating. I went with her during the pre op consults and know that you can't eat that much and as fast as she is...she is going to be 26 this year so I know I cant tell her anything. She has been doing this everyday for well over a year. I know this cant be good at all...what can I do to help? Has anyone else had this to deal with?? Please advise:smile: thank you to all in advance

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I can say that I went through this for about 18 months. I gained 30 pounds along the way. I ate WAY too fast and ate too much. I would not be concerned too much with an eating disorder other than overeating. What happens with folks that are banded is when you eat too much too fast, food gets loged in the opening. This feel very uncomfortable. She is going to the bathroom to "Get it back up". She probably at some point of getting up gets to the point where it all starts going through. Everyone learns how to cheat the band at some point. The band is a tool, just as a tool in your tool box. A wrench can be used as a hammer, but it is best used as a wrench. If your daughter does not want to use the wrench as a wrench, you may not be able to tell her anything. To me it sounds like she needs to see if she is COMPLETELY committed to the program. For me (only a week and a half back on track), I learned if I get a small dish and put my small portion on it, eat it very slow, i feel fuller faster. You will see the trips to the bathroom cease as well. It should take aprox. 20 minutes to eat a half cup of food. Some can eat faster and be ok, but it will make you feel fuller. Also try baby spoons. I know it sounds silly but it helps. Trust me you cant get any sillier than seeing a 31 yr old truck driver (me) walking through a truck stop with a small dish and a baby spoon in hand. We do what we gotta do. I hope all goes well/

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Thank you so much for the information!! It makes me feel a little better. Its obvious she isnt doing what the nutritionist said she had to do. I was there for the meeting and heard everthing. She is putting a lot in her mouth and not chewing it up at all. She needs to get with the program or go get some fill taken out I guess. Thanks again for your help!! Good Luck to You!!

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Marathonman explained it well but in short, your daughter needs a shrink or a therapist.

She has to get past having to fill her plate.

The band is to prevent you from needing large meals. If she wants to continue eating large meals then she should have the band removed before she hurts herself further.

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Just so I am being completly understood. I do not think your daughter needs to have fill taken out, and i do not think her doc will. She needs to slow way down on her eating. small portions, plenty of time. We are all food addicts. Some of us will even admit it. Three things your daughter needs. 1 a support system- you love your daughter and want what is best for her.. that is very clear, but if you are not banded or struggle with food adiction, you may not be that support system. 2. make better food choices. At restaurants order sides only. It is embarassing for us if we get stuck in public. 3. Get motivated... walk walk walk and throw in some walking too. To be clear motivation is not thinkin about doing... it is doing, and SHE has to do it.

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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