Wrapping your mind around it

[hopeendures 0]

I've been a bandster for two years. I am 9 lbs away from my goal. I am wearing a size 4 pants. And I still have fat days! Most of the time, I am happy, and proud of how I look, but not all the time.

It sounds crazy, even to me, but there are days when I feel self conscious about my weight, like I am still large. This, in spite of the fact, that even people who never knew me before I lost weight call me "skinny" and "tiny", and the people who did know me all along rave about how tiny I am. I don't "feel" tiny.

In my head, I am still a chubster, even though I know better. I do a lot of self talk, and reasoning trying to get past this little mental issue.

Anyone else ever experience this phenomenon?

[Ilovebeagles 0]

Hi there,

It takes a long time for your head to catch up. Most people don't realize how large they are getting as they move up the scale. When they see themselves in photos they are absolutely floored and can't believe it's them. Well it happens in the reverese.

However, it is really important that you keep trying to see and feel like the new thin you. Time will help!

[sandradee0124 0]

Congratulations on your wonderful success! In my support group (pre-surgery) they talked about the mind. I remember the comments as something like "you have a picture of yourself in your mind, you really don't see the person in the mirror. As an overweight person you tend to ignore or not take/look at photographs, and the picture in your mind stays with you. As you lose weight you don't "see" the changes until you allow your mind to release that picture and really look/see yourself as others do".

Well I'm 4 weeks post-surgery today. I was SHOCKED looking at the picture I took of myself on surgery day -- I truly did not even recognize that fat person in the picture. I can't see past that picture for now, so I would agree with what has been written and what I learned in group.

Best of luck to you!:biggrin:

[Mel Mel 0]

First, Congratulations on your weightloss! That's incredible.

And in response, I am a new bandster myself. But I remember being the same height in my early teens and weighing about 100lbs less than I am. I think I saw the same thing in the mirror then, as I do now. I feel more confident now since I'm starting to lose weight, I;m getting many compliments from friends and coworkers. For me, it will always be something I have to work through, as body image has always been an issue.

Congratulations again, and I hope for your continued success.

[Jachut 487]

Long time banded here, nearly five years. I'm a size 8, 5ft 10, 150lb.

I still have fat days, definitely and i'm still dissatisfied with my lower half. I have visible bones on my chest and those knobbly shoulder bones, but I cant see "skinny" on a lot of days.

For me, I think a little of it is that at 5ft 10, I'm still a "big" girl, I'll never be petite.

But yeah, bloated days, fat days, being afraid to get on the scale - that still happens for me.

[vlp1968 83]

I am sometimes surprised when I catch myself in the mirror and think, wow, I am getting small. It's a great feeling. I agree it takes time for the mind to catch up with the body. The pyschologist involved with my wls told me to do 2 things. One is to take a picture of myself once a month, I do it in a bathing suit. It's amazing to see the difference each month. She also said to keep one outfit from your "fat clothes". I have found these things to be helpful.

[LapNYC 3]

I'm only halfway there myself, but I can see how you might feel the way that you do. Maybe it's good. It'll keep you paying attention and keep you humble! I hope that at least every once in a while you're able to look in the mirror and acknowledge how great you look.

Jacqui - my sister is your height and 130 pounds (a lifetime skinny person) and she's always said that she feels like an Amazon. The curse of the tall! The good thing is at at least we get to eat more than shorter people. Small price to pay!

[elcee 3,340]

It does take a while for your mind to catch up. I take a size 8 pants which I think is the equivalent of a US 4 and also get called skinny but I can't see it.

I look in the mirror and still see my stomach which I would love to get rid of. According to my waist measurement I am still at higher risk of diabetes. My BMR is above what it should be although my BMI is good. If I were to buy clothes based on my waist measurement I would supposedly need a size 16 - 18! Crazy as my size 8 pants and skirts do up fine.

I also find it hard after having spent most of my life dieting to accept that I am fine and that I don't need to any more. I am terrified that I will put all the weight back on AGAIN!

[hopeendures 0]

It does take a while for your mind to catch up. I take a size 8 pants which I think is the equivalent of a US 4 and also get called skinny but I can't see it.

I look in the mirror and still see my stomach which I would love to get rid of. According to my waist measurement I am still at higher risk of diabetes. My BMR is above what it should be although my BMI is good. If I were to buy clothes based on my waist measurement I would supposedly need a size 16 - 18! Crazy as my size 8 pants and skirts do up fine.

I also find it hard after having spent most of my life dieting to accept that I am fine and that I don't need to any more. I am terrified that I will put all the weight back on AGAIN!

That is a great point! I think about regaining the weight too, although I am pretty confident, with this amazing tool, that I will not. As a lifetime dieter, I struggle with normal eating behaviors. I have dieted since I was 9 years old, and I still have a tendency to feel self conscious if I am in public eating something not diet friendly. :smile:

[cwm812 11]

I struggle with this all the time. I never really thought I'd lose this much weight. I was planning on being happy if I just got to a 16 or 18. When you're 350 lbs, that seems downright petite. Now that I'm wearing a size 10 pants, I keep focusing on every stray roll or glob of fat. I guess I always thought that normal sized people all had bodies like fashion models. One of my friends keeps pointing out that at nearly 50, I can't expect to look like a 25 year old starlet. Still, I don't think I have a realistic perception of what I actually look like. My body may be small, but my mind isn't.

Cindy

[hopeendures 0]

I struggle with this all the time. I never really thought I'd lose this much weight. I was planning on being happy if I just got to a 16 or 18. When you're 350 lbs, that seems downright petite. Now that I'm wearing a size 10 pants, I keep focusing on every stray roll or glob of fat. I guess I always thought that normal sized people all had bodies like fashion models. One of my friends keeps pointing out that at nearly 50, I can't expect to look like a 25 year old starlet. Still, I don't think I have a realistic perception of what I actually look like. My body may be small, but my mind isn't.

Cindy

Have you had skin reduction? I had abdominoplasti, and breast lift, but I need my inner thighs done, and my backside is kind of droopy too. Abdominoplasti helped my self image tremendously. I found it so disheartening to get the weightloss work done, and then still look in the mirror and be disgusted. I wasn't expecting to be stripper material, but I would like to be able to wear a swim suit without having to hide my legs.

I am pleased to report, however, that all through my weightloss effort, I kept reminding myself that being thin, (like having money) would not automatically guarantee happiness. Thin people still have problems, and challenges. However, I am unbelievably happy most of the time. I am in love with the man of my dreams, and he thinks I am beautiful, and my job is going better than ever, and I feel healthy. So, it may not automatically guarantee happiness, but it does allow it!

[cwm812 11]

I haven't had any plastic surgery, and I'm not sure I will. Whenever I read anyone's stories about it on here, I just think that I really don't want to go through all that. If I just needed the Tummy Tuck, I could deal with it, but I know that I need at least abdomen, arms, thighs and then I'd want the breasts done, too. I'm not even sure I'd recognize myself afterwards, not to mention the cost. I keep thinking about going for a consult, just to see if there is something to do that isn't has radical as all those procedures.

I am lucky, like you. I have a wonderful husband, who thinks I look great whatever size I am. I didn't lose the weight to be happy. I was already pretty happy, but I sure do feel better these days, and feeling better, makes everything else in life easier.

Cindy

Cindy