Hey, im a 19 year old Kiwi, and tomorrow I find out the date for my surgery, I hear itll be in july or august, but lately I’ve been feeling very down and I’m not sure why. I’m excited about surgery and everything, but I have always been extremely sensitive about my weight and had low self esteem, and instead of getting more confident on the months leading up to surgery, I have felt exactly the opposite. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like, whats the point of going out and about until I have my surgery? At least before I considered surgery, the issue of my weight was one that I knew was there, but could ignore, but now its absolutely set in stone, that I am overweight enough to get surgery and I find myself feeling very down a lot and no motivation to do anything really, I’m at university very very part time, and have four days off, but am too self conscious to get a job, at least until after surgery. Its like I’m anticipating this big change, and hate waiting in this fat body of mine until the surgery happens. I feel almost like I’ve given up on myself and I don’t know why!

Did ANYBODY else feel this way before getting lapband surgery or is it just me?

Would really appreciate any advice or similar stories xx

I think it can be kind of humbling to realize, "Hey, I can't do this on my own." But really, accepting help---in the form of surgery--is not a sign of surrender. Rather, it's taking CONTROL.

It seems as though you are viewing it as some sort of defeat, and that negative self-talk is occupying too much space in your mind. That space could be put to far better use! You could, for example, begin practicing the things you'll need to do after surgery.

If you're postponing doing positive until you feel better about yourself after surgery, you may be postponing for a very long time. The surgery is fabulous, but it won't flick a switch in your brain that tells you that it's time to feel good about yourself. All it will do is help manage your hunger. And it may not even do that very well for several months!

It's a process--and it starts now. From now until the time you achieve good restriction, you will have to be in control of your actions. And having thoughts that are positive and better-aligned with success can only help you as you as you do so.

I know that it's ridiculous to tell a person, "Buck up! Be positive!" if that person is not in a positive place. I understand that you're not there, and I'm sorry for your sadness and struggles.

But it's not ridiculous to suggest that, if you're really struggling, it might be a good idea to find a good therapist who's skilled in dealing with weight issues. Get some good support and learn some new ways to cope with your feelings so that you can really engage in the activities you'll need to embrace in order to succeed with the band.

I can understand what you are saying.... The Lap band does have a way of making it all "real". The self loathing, the fear, the feelings of being an outsider etc.

With out the band we have our fat to blame for not having confidence, feeling bad or unmotivated. Once we get the band and the weight starts to come off what will we have to fall back on? Please don't get me wrong-- losing the weight helps alot and I know that you are going to feel so much better and so much more in control of your life and able to take part in life.

I would suggest that while you prepare and wait for the surgery that you try to get in with someone and do some counseling sessions to get your head in the right place so you can move forward with your band. Unfortunately the scale doesn't come with a guarantee of confidence and motivation-- only that it will weigh you.

Also try to focus on the positives vs negative. You are SO CLOSE to getting what I think is something you actually really want. It is not about being sick of not being or doing stuff but how close you are to doing it all. Good luck-- I know you're headed for great things!

Hey, im a 19 year old Kiwi, and tomorrow I find out the date for my surgery, I hear itll be in july or august, but lately I’ve been feeling very down and I’m not sure why. I’m excited about surgery and everything, but I have always been extremely sensitive about my weight and had low self esteem, and instead of getting more confident on the months leading up to surgery, I have felt exactly the opposite. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like, whats the point of going out and about until I have my surgery? At least before I considered surgery, the issue of my weight was one that I knew was there, but could ignore, but now its absolutely set in stone, that I am overweight enough to get surgery and I find myself feeling very down a lot and no motivation to do anything really, I’m at university very very part time, and have four days off, but am too self conscious to get a job, at least until after surgery. Its like I’m anticipating this big change, and hate waiting in this fat body of mine until the surgery happens. I feel almost like I’ve given up on myself and I don’t know why!

Did ANYBODY else feel this way before getting LAP-BAND® surgery or is it just me?

Would really appreciate any advice or similar stories xx

You are a lovely person! AWESOME! Please remember your entire self worth is NOT determined by your weight! Being overweight is something that you CAN do something about and YOU ARE! :biggrin: That is HUGE! Hold your head high for that! Remember that the band while a huge change, doesn't do this on it's own. You took the first step, admitted you need help. Making that decision is a GOOD THING, NOTHING to be ashamed about!

My sticky predicament is that I have a VERY poor immune system so when I gain even 5 lbs, I get ill. If I don't eat healthy foods or what my body needs- I get ill. This all started when I was 23 and had to quit drinking regular pop- I wasn't eating since my body had sugar in it. I quickly gained 25 lbs and spent a fun month EXTREMELY ill. JUST detoxing myself down to diet pop took 6 months. It will take time but you will prevail!