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I kind of wonder why I keep doing this.



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I've been on a great journey since my banding, as has everyone else, I'm sure. But here lately, well...I just don't know.

I've hit a plateau because of some intense emotional issues I'm facing at the moment (for which I now need therapy and medication), and the lack of weight loss just makes me even more depressed. It's also gotten to the point where I look in the mirror and no longer feel confident or good about my weight loss; I just look like I did 70 pounds ago.

I also worry that I've begun to develop an eating disorder (aside from the compulsive overeating that I had to deal with before going into this). Maybe it's because I'm young and silly, but I don't even want to eat anymore because I'm scared of gaining weight. Each pound gained or not lost feels like failure. I constantly feel guilty for eating.

Has anyone else experienced this, or am I just a crazy? :frown:

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Maybe you need to give yourself permission to maintain at your current weight for a while. I find that I only have a certain amount of mental capacity. Sometimes I have to set one thing aside while I deal with something else.

"I just look like I did 70 pounds ago." Now after this statement I think your crazy! 70 POUNDS? Look the same?:frown: Seriously it is time for you to do a reality check. Here are my 2 reality checks that I use.

1) Its picture time. Find a picture of yourself before banding and then sit or stand in that same position with tight fitting clothes on and take a picture then study the differences. You will be amazed.

2) I use a mental image of dog food. You have lost the equivalent of a big 50 pound sack and a medium 20 pound sack. Now imagine taking those 2 bags of dog food and duct taping one of them to your back and one to the front, throw a big shirt over them and then tell me you look the same!

The goal of this thing isn't to keep you from eating, its just to help you eat less at a time. Just keep making good food choices, let the band limit the quantity and you will do fine.

I recently decided to take a break from the hard core dieting that I have been doing since I got the band. I am not at goal but I am very comfortable with my weight so 2 weeks ago I stopped "The Diet", now I still eat the same foods but I am eating 1200 calories instead of 800 or so. Guess what? I still lost 2 pounds in 12 days. Less than the 2 pounds a week that I was losing when I was on "The Diet" but it really gave me hope that this is maintainable. I would be happy if I just stayed the same! (By the way, I think any 5 pounds range is considered staying the same. ) Good luck.

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I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling, but I'm glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist. Make sure you talk to the therapist about your eating disorder concern. They are very, very dangerous and can cause real damage to your body, and should be taken seriously.

Hugs!

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Thank you both for the support. :thumbup:

I will talk to this problem with my therapist, but I have bigger issues that I feel like I need to tackle first.

Leigha, I know you're right! It's just so hard for me to look at things like that, you know? Especially when I'm feeling so down and defeated. It doesn't help either that I neglected to take any "before" pictures! It's very frustrating.

But thank you nonetheless. I'll try to think about things more positively.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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