Feeling depressed and Lost... need some help.

[VermilionKiss 0]

It's been a year(3-5-09). I lost about 50 pounds, and then life took a nose dive. I got my 3rd fill and the doctor told me to come back if I needed another but that I'd have to schedule it. I forgot. I knew it wasn't tight enough, but I felt that I was still doing ok. Then my life really got complicated and I just didn't think about it. I was too busy to think about it and a lot of my old habits came back. I've found myself a year later having gained at least 15 pounds of the 50 back and just lost. I've made an appointment for 3-11-10 and know I have to go. I NEED a fill. I've needed one for about 5 months. I feel like such a failure and I keep telling myself that I got this surgery for this reason. That I can get back on the horse. I know I didn't take advantage of the support groups and I desperately needed them. Now though I don’t have any way to get to them I don’t have the internet at my finger tips all the time and I am so scared. I don’t want to face the doctor; I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to fail. I thought this was going to be better than it has been I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I thought I could handle it better than I have. I don’t just want this I need this… Thanks for letting me vent.

[LeighaMason 19]

Maybe you brain needed time to adjust to your new body. Sometimes when things in my life are changing too rapidly for my brain to accept it, I find myself putting it aside, then when I am ready to face it again I do. Sometimes this can be a week or 6 months.

Don't be sad, you only regained 15 lbs, that means you are still down 35! If you hadn't had the band would you have been down the 50 at all? Or would you be like me and had the annual 10-15 added to where you started.

You said you feel lost so here is a map that I would use to get back on track. I would start journaling what I am eating so that I could take an objective look at it (I will lie to myself on occasion), start doing some exercising so that when you get the fill you will be ready to start dropping that weight (even if its just walking around the block). And check in with us. Everyone here has been though most of these things or will go through them. Come on we can do it together...

[VermilionKiss 0]

Thank you, Leigha. I really need to do some support stuff. Mainly though I need to get back on this horse and take it slow. I think at first I was trying too hard and I kinda set myself up. Now, I do nothing... and I need to just take things one day at a time.

[BobbieND 3]

Right on, LeighaMason!

VermillionKiss - Journal, Eat Proteins first - ALWAYS! And NEVER beat yourself up. SO you gained back 15 - Big Woo ! You LOST 35 ! That alone is something to Celebrate :-) And so it takes you 2-3 years to reach goal ... So? Are you in a race ? NO! This is a way of life change - not a diet. You're young and beautiful ... embrace each day as a new challange. And accept what happens. Take responsibility. You over eat? fine - dont do it tomorrow. You ate some bad foods? AND? Enjoy it, then move on without mentally kicking yourself. Use each meal, food item, day and pound ( lost or gained ) as a LIFE experience. Embrace it. And make it your own.

We are all SOOOOO worth it!! Best of luck to you VermillionKiss!!! :wink:

[Alyce24 0]

It is so encouraging to read posts like these and realize that there are SO many people who are currently experiencing or have experienced the things that us "newbies" are going through. I'm 9 months post-op and I have found that it is incredibly easy to get discouraged if I just focus on the negative things that are going on in my life and around me. I've started taking a day-by-day approach while trying to be as honest with myself as possible. I like BobbieND's approach. Get over the negativity and make sure it's better next time. So I didn't work out last night...that doesn't mean I won't go and work the heck out of that elliptical tonight :wink:

Focus on the positive and hold onto those things for dear life. You could even go so far as to list out the good things that have come from this surgery (I'm a list person...). Some things on my list include: I'm healthier, I have more endurance during physical activity, my pants are more loose than they were pre-op, etc, etc. Think of yours and don't let them go, they'll help you through your "things are not so hot I want to sleep the day away" days.

[heidib 15]

Hey there! We've all been there when we fall of the wagon. The point is you gotta get back on....before you gain more!!!! I have been banded over 1 yr & was stuck at a loss of 40-45 lbs for about 7 months. I felt like i had failed & I wouldn't find my motivation again. I HAVE!!! I am losing again!!! You have to stay in touch w/ your doc & on this sit too. Like another person said, Protein 1st!!! Wishing you happier times & weightloss!!! :-)

[VermilionKiss 0]

Thank you BobbieND, I really needed to hear that! I think that's always been one of my biggest problems I beat myself up. Thank you Heidi as well as Alyce.. I am going to get back on this wagon and I'm going to keep going. I'm very glad I posted... thanks everyone.

[~amy~ 1]

First of all..... **HUGS**

Secondly, you are NOT a failure because at least you recognized that there is a problem, and you are taking actions to fix that problem. Nobody said this journey would be easy, so cut yourself some slack!! :smile2: We're all bound to fall at some point (unless there's a superwoman out there that I'm not aware of), but the important thing is that we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the horse again. Ok, corny, but I'm from Texas so I'm allowed! lol....

Prayers going up for you, girl....

[JoiaRox 430]

The advice I can add to this? You didn't fail, and there are many others out there just like you. I'm not even two months out of surgery yet, but I constantly eat stuff I shouldn't...for me, it's not a mindset of failure, but a mindset that "hey, I've lost weight!" Sure, I could have lost more by now without the crap I've eaten, but I weigh less than I have in a while...I'm okay! And, if your doctor makes you feel bad about the significant progress you've made over the last year, he's not a doctor you want to keep around. This is YOUR journey, not your doctor's, and you should be proud of what you've accomplished!

[VermilionKiss 0]

Thanks, Amy and Joia. I've been so busy the last week I haven't had a chance to get on. I really think that it's all about me getting back on this horse.. and I really appreciate the words of encouragement I've gotten here. I get them at home but it's not the same. In a week I'll go for my fill and I'm ready for it. The feelings of failure have waned and I am focusing on positive feelings. Again thank you everyone =)

[~amy~ 1]

::applause!!:: Woo hoo!! Go girl! Just remember that falling down and failing are NOT the same thing! You can do this!!

[VermilionKiss 0]

Wow, I never thought about it like that, Thank you Amy.

[Guene 0]

I just posted the same thing, but I've gained 30lbs after losing almost 100, I had the same thing happen to me, a lot of drama in our house because our daughter and granddaughter moved back home, then Husband had hip replacement and just one thing after another and what did I do I snacked on things I knew were wrong but I couldn't stop.

So last week I decided that I had to do something about this, got my band tightened and I'm trying to do the right thing, it's hard to stop old habits, and I'm a stress eater always has been. I felt so bad, so disappointed in myself, and I would sit and remember how happy I was when I lost weight, I want to feel those feelings again, so I just have to do right. And I hope you do to sweetie, I know it's hard but we both don't want to go back to where we were once right? Love and Hugs Bobbie :wink2:

[heidib 15]

I just posted the same thing, but I've gained 30lbs after losing almost 100, I had the same thing happen to me, a lot of drama in our house because our daughter and granddaughter moved back home, then Husband had hip replacement and just one thing after another and what did I do I snacked on things I knew were wrong but I couldn't stop.

So last week I decided that I had to do something about this, got my band tightened and I'm trying to do the right thing, it's hard to stop old habits, and I'm a stress eater always has been. I felt so bad, so disappointed in myself, and I would sit and remember how happy I was when I lost weight, I want to feel those feelings again, so I just have to do right. And I hope you do to sweetie, I know it's hard but we both don't want to go back to where we were once right? Love and Hugs Bobbie :wink2:

I just wrote something over at your other thread!