peprmentpati

I still understand...I'm 29, but I spent the majority of my life FAT. I too felt that I ruined a lot of chances of 'enjoying' my youth and experiencing things that others did. What I found out when I lost the weight was - nothing changes except our weight and hopefully our health. What I mean by nothing changed was...when I was FAT I thought all of my personal issues would be 'fixed' if I was SKINNY - it's not reality. Cherry - you need to find a love for yourself, it's absolute and essential. Love that extra skin and know you will get it off - promise you! That extra skin is all the work you've done to get to where you're at...and soon you'll have a few scars to remind you of the extra skin you once had. When I got my band I didn't imagine I'd make it to where I am today, but I got here...I'll get to that next level to. BTW - my positive body image and self esteem has been and still is a work in progress. I have **** days, and sometimes I still try to overeat or beat myself up - but it's life...we all deal with things. What I want to drive home is that I have to work at loving myself and practice self love all the time. P.S. - You'll get those moments soon...guarantee there is someone out there for you! I believe that someone has been waiting their whole life to find me and I them! Cheesy yes, but I believe it!!! Lots of Love <3 Rebecca

Hi there... I totally understand what you're saying and can completely relate. I don't havethe money right now and realistically won't for a few years, and that's with alot of saving. So I was falling into agreat depression and felt worse about myself preband. Currently, I'm trying to practice selflove. I bought a TON on books onlearning to love myself and silencing my inner critic. I've always had a severe problem with'perfectionism' but I did this surgery to be healthier. I realize that the abuse I did to myself(mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual) has consequences. We've made it to a weightgoal and we have to learn to accept ourselves (yes, even the excess skin) untilwe can transform completely. I dreamabout winning a scratch off , just enough to cover plastic surgery. I've asked every family member to help, I eventhough about putting my classes on hold and getting a second job to savefaster, but it's not my time yet. I've been focusing onexercising and making my internal body as healthy and fit as possible so thatwhen my day comes I'll be more than ready. Have you thought of that? As far as boyfriendsgo...I'm hiding as well. I've looked atlots of lingerie that would help hide the pizza dough that is my stomach, ohand the extra floppy boobs, lol. Lookinto that...but don't give yourself over to someone who doesn't understandwhere you came from. Anyone who gets toknow you and gives a **** about you will be proud of your journey, and soshould you. I go to therapy every 3weeks too. I've had a romance with thethought of suicide for too many years, but I want to live. Sometimes it's hard to have patience and waitour turn to get or experience the things we want, but steadfast, God alwaysprovides when we are ready to receive. God Bless you sweet girl* Rebecca

I too can't eat chicken (baked, grilled, sauted, slow cooked...white or dark meat). It pretty much sucks, but I can eat chicken sausage and ground turkey is just amazing (well I prepare it beautifully), so I've found some other nre favorites. My fill provider had told me that with each fill my tolerence for certain foods will change - very true. However, I've been filled 5 times and had one fill during this time and I could n't eat chiken after my 1st fill...bummer, lol Try different ways of preparing the food, but always be prepared that it may get cause a stuck episode! In the beginning I kept trying it and continued to get stuck. I started to get depressed because all the foods I wanted to eat wouldn't work, but I soon found a way to work with my band, not against it, and my band doesn't want chicken.. best of luck! Rebecca

"So look out world here I come...well after June 6 at 6:30 a.m. that is ! " Wow!!! I'm soo excited to learn of your successful journey, you already have such a beautiful story to tell! God Bless you! Rebecca

Thanks for you guidance. I made an appointment with my therapist and will find out about a psychiatrist too... I was shocked to read about band patients having the severe depression and suicidal ideations post-op...I thought it only affected gastric bypass patients. I've been having some very low low's lately. It seemed like the more I lost the more depressed I was becoming and the more I seemed to abuse myself mentally...yikes, I have so much to work on. Thanks again sweetheart for taking time out for me...it's really helped put things in perspective.. God Bless Rebecca

Hi Meekie!!! Wow! I was blown away by your touching words...I truly know God sent you! Thank you! I need to work on myself more and really face these feelings and thoughts before I try to add more stress in my life. I've always "checked" out instead of dealing with pain that comes up...I really thought that the as the weight dissapeared so would the emotional issues. I know now that it doesn't...all it really did was distract me for a while. I do have support from friends, family, therapy, church...I know that it's time for me to face myself and really begin to heal. Thank you again and God Bless you, angel* Rebecca

Jenn - thanks so much! you're story is inspiring! I want to love and care about myself - and I do and once I get involved with a guy - it goes out the window....very frustruating?!?! thanks sweetie! Rebecca

I'm right there with you on that! I've been going to therapy for 5 years... have had two wonderful therapists and even done hypnotherapy. I ned to be more open in regards to my issues with men - there is something there that messes me up?!?!? I 'll make an appointment. Thanks for waking me up on hat one. Rebecca

Thank you! You are so very sweet and kind! I will go easier on myself and think that a fill will def help me! thanks you~ God Bless, Rebecca

wow! That sucks! Going for another fill on 6/1

Hi! Haven’t made any personal posts in some time… I’m one week shy of my bandiversary, 5/19/11. I went from 349 pounds down to 202.8 (-146.2). I arrived at my lowest in December and haven’t lost anymore. I have maintained or stayed between the same 5 pounds since that time. My ultimate goal is to get to 165 and maintain and I know I’ll get there… Here’s my dilemma…I’ve been bingeing on slider foods for the past few weeks and I put on 10 pounds!!! It’s always been really easy for me to gain or lose weight…. Since losing weight and for the most part, ceased from abusing food (until recently) I’ve had to deal with my problems like a normal person. If I don’t drown my issues with food then I have to feel/deal with them and they hurt L…I guess it’s new for me because I never dealt with these issues in the past, I just kept eating them away. Being super obese made me invisible from the opposite sex and now that I’m visible – I’ve been putting myself out there…but with that comes a lot of self esteem issues…I think a lot of bad thoughts about myself if a guy doesn’t reciprocate feelings or attraction to me…this sucks but I’m trying to deal with it… In the meantime I’m over here stuffing my face and getting depressed… Please, if anyone understands and can over any words of encouragement I really need something to click for me… Thanks…. Rebecca (feeling lost and alone)

Hi! Haven’t made any personal posts in some time… I’m one week shy of my bandiversary, 5/19/11. I went from 349 pounds down to 202.8 (-146.2). I arrived at my lowest in December and haven’t lost anymore. I have maintained or stayed between the same 5 pounds since that time. My ultimate goal is to get to 165 and maintain and I know I’ll get there… Here’s my dilemma…I’ve been bingeing on slider foods for the past few weeks and I put on 10 pounds!!! It’s always been really easy for me to gain or lose weight…. Since losing weight and for the most part, ceased from abusing food (until recently) I’ve had to deal with my problems like a normal person. If I don’t drown my issues with food then I have to feel/deal with them and they hurt L…I guess it’s new for me because I never dealt with these issues in the past, I just kept eating them away. Being super obese made me invisible from the opposite sex and now that I’m visible – I’ve been putting myself out there…but with that comes a lot of self esteem issues…I think a lot of bad thoughts about myself if a guy doesn’t reciprocate feelings or attraction to me…this sucks but I’m trying to deal with it… In the meantime I’m over here stuffing my face and getting depressed… Please, if anyone understands and can over any words of encouragement I really need something to click for me… Thanks…. Rebecca (feeling lost and alone)

It's been the best decision I've made for myself. Personally, I was more afraid that I would have a heart attack, a stroke, get full-blown diabetes, and/or never live a life I was happy in...so for me the surgery was easy. I wish you the best of luck and prayer that you recover flawlessly! God Bless, Rebecca

Dude, I've been off the wagon a few (or more) times myself. This is "LIFE" and it ain't easy. Try to find a point of focus and go with it, like your walks. Each time you take one, you'll feel better and it will help you find that balance. This isn't to say that you won't fall down now or later, but we can get back up! Sorry for the cliche'...but it's the truth. Becks*

I'm one month shy from being 1 year post-op. The first week post-op all I could do was think boutfood, watch the food network and look at recipes online! I was obsessed - I think it was the liquid diet that got me going mad! Good news is that it went away! Hang in there! Rebecca