green

Ugh! Sounds like there are some seriously mean people out there.

In our Canucki Walsmart they will back your groceries but after that you are on your own; the bags are your problem. And yep, there is a MacDonald's inside our Wallymart.

I know nothing whatsoever about the American Civil Liberties Union but I am inclined to think that all democratic countries still do require watchdogs, no matter how annoying you may feel their activities to be or how offensive the causes they choose to champion.

Ugh! This sure is an interesting as well as a complex issue. France has chosen to deal with all religious insignia by banning them in all institutions which are run by the government, including schools and universities. This has come about, I suspect, as a response to France's sizeable minority of Muslims. The French simply do not want to see girls and young women wearing hijabs, niqabs, jiljabs, or burqas attending their schools or working in their public institutions. The Brits have responded in a different fashion to their own sizeable minority of Muslims. I have read that there are some towns or areas within cities which are almost entirely populated by Islamic immigrants and their children. These are folk who had started to migrate to England during the 1950s, after Britain had cut her former colony, India, loose. (France's sizeable population of Muslims is the result of the withdrawal from her former colonies of Morroco, Algeria, and Tunisia.) In the case of Great Britain it seems that the days of "Paki-bashing," for that is what they used to call their style of immigrant abuse, are long over. This is a very, very good thing. Much less good is that the Brits are so concerned about offending this particular group they have opted to edit all mention of the Holocaust when teaching modern history in those schools where there is a sizeable number of Muslim students. Even had I not lost most members of my father's side of the family due to this particular event I still would not feel that this is right.... I mention these two particular examples because it seems to me that these are two nations, both with blessed with democratic rule and a desire to ensure that their citizens live under rational and reasonable governance. Nevertheless, they have chosen to deal with this issue of religious liberty vs civil liberty in two entirely different ways. As you may have gathered from an earlier post, L8, I certainly do have mixed feelings about this biz of political correctness. I do believe that Christian religious symbols are also very important cultural symbols, and whenever they are presented as such I have no problem with them. This is why I believe that the word Christmas should not be edited out of the dictionary and that we should still get to see the tree, the angels, the creches, and be forced to listen to the crappy music. So much of this is part of our culture and it would be foolish to choose to junk our culture, I think. Of course should such symbols be presented as teaching aids I would find myself becoming kinda crazed with fury.

You have made a very good point.

Hurray for you, Sybaritic. One of the most sybaritic experiences I have had was my first 3 days post op. I spent them in bed, reading, napping, and goofing on the supply of that splendid demerol which nice Dr. Yau so kindly made available to me via a prescription. :bounce: My cat kept me company and my husband made a point of looking in on me. It was an altogether fine time apart from the gas cramps. Those were a real killer.

This is an important issue to take into account when making your decision. The tax break which you will get on your surgery is sizeable.

I am awful fond of Scotch-rocks/a glass of wine (preferably French) but now that I am suffering from acid reflux it seems that I am going to have to smarten up and avoid all alcohol until this biz is under control. Bummer, eh. Drinkies were my favourite empty calorie zone. I guess I am going to have to switch to icecream. :eyebrows: Green isn't going to have the same bounce or whatever.... :bounce:

If you cannot stand the look of pureed foods, something which also grosses me out, then stay on soups and yogurts for a little while longer. The reason why you are on this crazy diet is so that your brand new hardware may properly adhere to your body as it heals. Stressing your stomach with lumpier foods now may mean that your lapband might slip later on. This would be a bad thing.

Hi to you, Robgoblin. We have both been banded by TLBC. My suspicion is that you are probably someone who requires a fairly high degree of fill but I am curious as to whether you have talked about this with anyone at TLBC. I can tell you that although I seemed to be fairly responsive at smaller fills I did meet a woman while I was getting my third fill who had experienced absolutely zip with a 6 cc fill. She could eat anything including subs and they have the dreaded bread! With respect to my own experience, I have reached my goal weight but I have always been able to eat everything as long as I chew, chew, chew enough. This means that I have always been able to eat bread and pasta. The only way the band has worked for me is by curbing the amount of food I eat and by stiffling my sense of starvation. My part in all of this is to make sure that I eat the right stuff. Nevertheless, I did find myself recently requesting a further fill, one that moved me up to 7 cc. This was because my appetite was returning. Maybe 7 cc is your starting point. You do say that you feel some degree of restriction and perhaps you should live with this for awhile before going for further fill. Of course I might be wrong and perhaps you should get another fill ASAP. Have you talked to the fill nurse? Are you making a point of eating carefully? This is the second part of the trick - portion control is the first. And are you losing weight?

I used to work with men before I retired. They love to shop, they just love to shop at hardware and DIY stores like Home Depot. The dudes I worked with used to scrutinize the weekly sales flyers from these stores. There was also a very popular sales catalogue on our shop floor; this was published by Princess Auto. :bounce: I have got to say that that company did have a lot of stuff that I myself lusted after. But then I have always wanted my own drill press and metal bending machine. :eyebrows:

It strikes me that when you opt for a public life you have already agreed to sacrifice the privilege of privacy. Star Jones has chosen to be a public person. She was fat and now she is thin. Of course everyone is gonna want to know why and it is my opinion that they have the right to know the truth. If we were made to believe that this woman successfully dealt with her weight problem through diet and excercise she would be doing a grave disservice to each and every overweight individual who has access to the media. I think that it is just fine that she is now out about her WLS.

Walmart had invaded Canada some years ago and there were some people who claimed that Walmart ruined the mainstreet shopping in our small towns and villages. In fact these stores now sell handmade perfumed candles and jams and jellies, clothes, used books, and antiques. There is a serious cute boutique thing happening in small town Ontario. Down in the core of big city Toronto five minutes walk from where I live there is a smallish Walmart. This is in one of the two malls near me. In the other mall there is a Zeller's, a Canadian counterpart to Walmart. Walmart not only has better prices, it is more efficiently operated. There are more cashiers and there seems to be fewer glitches when you are paying. The shelves are well stocked and there is an excellent choice of products. The contrast is a vivid one and I find it difficult to shop Canadian though in theory I would like to. An interesting side note: Canadians are fond of unionising in order to ensure that they are treated fairly. Canadian Walmart employees have tried this without success in a number of instances. The company, you see, would threaten to simply close down the store, figuring that shoppers would drive to the next available outlet. The only place where unionisation was successful was in a store situated in a remote area of Quebec.

Oh, I already do dye my hair. Hence the face lift.......! The next frontier.

My feet are usually hot, as is the rest of me. I come from a family who suffers from the heat. Even in the winter I sleep lightly clad, my feeting sticking out from under the covers, and with a fan on. And I walk around sockless until the snow begins to fly. My husband is like you, Bitter. He has cold feet, and he used to have a lovely pair of Canadian sheepskin slippers. Had 'em until our current cat, the horrid stray, ate 'em. She is the most destructive cat we have ever owned. :phanvan She is slowly eating all the fur off the deer skin which hangs over the foot of our bed. In the morning we find two piles of it, one in the bed and the other on the floor. It would appear, Sheesha, that either our Canadian way with shedding footwear had seeped south to Wisconsin or your Wisconsin way had long ago travelled up here to Canada. Who knows who started this? I now know that I will feel comfortable visiting people in Wisconsin.

Aw shucks, grrl. :embarassed:

Try to make him really understand on the deepest level just how much you owe him and how very dependent you are on him.

We brought back a dead scorpion from Tunisia as a souvenir. It was nicely mounted in a box but it has since fallen off its gluey base and lies sprawled like a vicious drunken sailor across the bottom of its box. It is kind of gross and funny and so I still display it proudly. As for the cheapo hair work, this is very, very unusual even in Toronto. Ashanti is a private neighbourhood resource. She is Indian/South Asian by race, Hindu, and comes from Trinidad. She is an extremely beautiful woman, small, slender, a lovely face, and a gorgeous mane of hair. She does all kinds of hair, old Portuguese and Italian ladies, punks, Goths, ethnic grrls who like big hair, and people like myself. Both my husband and myself get our hair cut by Ashanti. My tenant was the one who told us about her. My tenant is around my age, gay, and works in corporate banking. She also has really wavy hair. Ashanti is able to handle all our hair needs. But the other nice thing about going there is that the joint is in the way of a meeting place. People stop by to say hello and to chat.

Thanx, kid. You always say the nicest things. :kiss2: +

IMFine, I have a strong hunch that I may have accidently hit upon something. You do have all the control in all the other areas of your life together. You are the sturdy, strong one. You are doing all the work which is traditionally considered to belong to the man of the house - the repairs - and you do the shopping, the cleaning, etc. You are also engaged in academic work. As you yourself have said, you are very self sufficient. And you are a decade younger and your mate is looking at a future in a wheelchair. You do indeed hold all the high cards in this relationship and men are strange creatures: the fact that you adore him and have chosen to be with him is not going to erase the fact that in his mind you hold all the high cards. Your loving man must feel himself to be in a very tenuous position. My heart goes out to both of you. You both sound like splendid people. By withholding sex from you he manages to re-establish a measure of control/power/self-respect. In order to obtain sex from this man you are going to have to show yourself as vulnerable and weak and dependent on him in some other area. The question is how will you be able to do this? I am going to ask you a further question to which you do not have to post an anwer on this thread but an interesting question all the same: how does your mate view your current weight loss work? I am asking you to think about this because I have read many posts where sister LBTers find that they experience resistance from those who are closest to them, their families and their mates. Both family and mates can be awfully threatened when we decide to mend ourselves even when they believe that they wish nothing but the best for us. Your man sounds like a fine man and the last thing that you must ever display in your negotiations with him is any sense of pity. Give a man pity and you may as well chop off his balls.

I just love this thread. I find it fascinating. As a Canuck I have always been so used to shucking my shoes, and I have got to confess that I absolutely hate wearing footwear, that once I learned that this wasn't done south of the border I began to feel very, very nervous about ever visiting American homes. I figured that I might freak folks out what with my tendency to drop shoes at the mere sight of a foyer. (I am real good about leaving the rest of my clothes on, eh. ) Bitter has, however, made a good point in her earlier post, the one describing her visit to a home in England. Some footwear is more elaborate and this will cause additional problems when it comes this biz of taking them off and putting them back on again. I have never really thought about this since shoe removal is the way of the Canuck and many of us Canucks do have a chair near the front door, a critical item for older folks and winter boots. At the same time, there is indeed this issue of elderly/handicapped/chubby folk and the dreary routine of shoe removal and then gittin' 'em back on agin. My mother-in-law is a typical Canuck. She is a clean freak who immigrated here from Germany. We are required to remove our shoes when entering her cottage as well as her house. And she will scream at anyone who forgets this rule. My parents were also fussy. They had broadloom. I am kind of casual. I have hardwood floors, oriental rugs, and a kitchen floor which is tiled in the exact colour of dirt. I take my shoes off because I hate wearing anything, including socks, on my feet. I always have. I once saw photos of a Japanese woodworking shop and was ever so impressed because the workers were barefooted. I tried working barefooted in my first bluecollar gig. This didn't last long. Long post, eh.

I was going to suggest something along the same lines. If you and your husband are both comfortable with it, you might consider having sex on a regular basis with another guy, maybe someone whom you know who is recovering from a divorce and who is lonely for a little physical action. And if your husband is not comfortable with this arrangement, well, he better step up to the bat. Like most women I am uncomfortable around porn but I don't necessarily see a man's interest in porn and self-pleasuring as a bad thing until he opts for this activity at the expense of meeting the needs and desires of his mate. Your husband may say that he loves you and I am sure that he does but he is being very, very selfish when he flatly refuses to make love with you and yet will masturbate while watching porn. With respect to the emotional structure of your partnership, this places him in the position of being the one who is in control of the relationship. He is continually denying you something which you badly need out of the relationship and which you have repeatedly asked him for. In this respect your marriage is not an equal one. By the way, it occurs to me to wonder if you hold more power than him in some other area and that this might perhaps make your husband feel like less of a man; are you better educated? do you earn more? did you bring more property into the marriage? If so, his withholding of sex could be a subconscious response to having his sense of manhood eroded in another, and entirely separate arena of your relationsip. Please be aware that I am just goofing with my own thoughts here - this is just an idea which suddenly occurred to me while writing this post. Certainly a man who claims to be deeply in love with his wife and who continually demonstrates his affection on every other level and who is, moreover, neither homosexual nor suffering from medical issues which would make sexual performance difficult or impossible, is up to other shennanigans or has other problems, ones of a psychological nature. It strikes me that your husband's plumbing is working. This would indicate that there is a major problem going on between the ears. If you want this marriage to improve, then I would suggest that you first seek out a therapist for yourself and once you have clarified your issues you can move onto dealing with your husband's issues. Now, I must emphasize that the only reason that I suggest that you see a therapist is in order that you might be able to discuss the problem you have with your husband, your own feelings of frustration and rejection, and perhaps figure out certain constructive approaches to dealing with him and it.

:bounce:It was a dark period of my life, it is true.... And thank you for yer kind words of support but you can go ahead and laugh if you really want to. :heh: Yer friend, once known as Bozo the Green!

BB - that is one helluva funny story now that you lived to tell the tale! Devana - I wear my hair much the same way as you, cut straight a little below the jawline and with bangs. I can wear it this way now because it is less curly and frizzy than it was when I was younger. In fact I have been doing this style for a number of years now and I go to this gorgeous woman who operates her own little salon in the neighbourhood. She charges 15 bucks for a wash and a haircut, including blow dry, and I give her a 20. She is a very nice woman and her salon usually has one or two people in it who have just stopped by in order to chat. It is a cosy place to hang out in. And Ashanti gives great hair! BB - my hair is a kind of reddish blonde and I do have large feet! That is part of what made that bluddy Ronald MacDonald doo so horrible. Arghhhhhhh!

I once had a disasterous experience in an uptown fancy hair salon. A friend of mine had fabulous hair and she recommended her stylist to me. In those days I was dealing with my kinda curly/frizzy hair by getting it permed. My theory at the time was that the frizz would all go in the same direction. :phanvan Well, I phoned the salon up to book an appt and to get a quote. While I was having my hair worked on they stuffed me full gourmet cake, gourmet coffee, and compliments on my clothes. This very attentive service had the effect of making me very nervous for I don't enjoy getting my hair done anymore than I like going to the dentist. :rolleyes The insults to my sense of self-esteem began as I was leaving; they charged me a further 30 bucks over the quote and I left the joint looking like Bozo the Clown. :omg: This evil head job was done in October and I still looked foul by the end of December. This was particularly humiliating to me because I was spending much of that holiday in Paris visiting with friends. Hanging out in Paris while you are suffering from a bad hair year ain't fun! Oh, but that was a terrible experience! I did tip the bastards, though. :tired