TracyinKS

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read, READ, REAd this site!

But on a good note today.......... I hit -50 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My work computer is acting all funky and the net connection has been down.... PAM: <<<<<<HUGS GIRLFRIEND>>>>>>> Terry: I know OK.. so I go home for lunch and I get the letter from the judge saying that court has been continued... (it's actually a scribbled note on my original fax) The kicker: I look at the CC:'s and Shrek is included............ OK.. so then I realise they sent the copy of my fax TO HIM... well freaking duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It has ALL my numbers (including my private unlisted home number) I called the court and left a message asking if they had blacked out my numbers and guess what I haven't heard a dam thing! As soon as I realized it.. my band swelled up and I PB'd on TOMATO soup............... WONDERFUL.. (ok so maybe it was the tomatoe soup, with the peach cobbler ice cream and the wheat thin crackers that I started shoving into my mouth) dam stress Thank God its Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK..... short answer.. no it is NOT a con! I'm a volume eater, I'm an EXPERT dieter, I suck at maintaining....the band will help with maintenance. I am at my sweet spot of restriction and 1/2 cup of protien keeps me full for 4-5 hours.... where as PRE-Band I could put away the better part of a large thin crust pizza... and if I ate just a little.. I would be flopping around on the floor like a fish from hunger. And BTW.......... I have spent my entire life dieting........ maintaining the real KEY

Good Evening Violets! I had a busy day..... I did see my lawyer and we have a plan of action.. not going to type it down on here just in case I have some pieces of shit cyber spies googling me.......... just too important not to disclose at this point. Anyway.......... I had a weird thing happen today.. but first Kat I laughed at your post!!! PTTS LOOK OUT! OK.. so the weird thing... after my meeting my boss and I stopped for lunch at the Longhorn Steakhouse... Once there I was like ohhh crap what am I going to order.. I ended up with that crab bake they advertise on the commercial and trying to be healthy I opt for the sauted mushrooms instead of a baked potatoe......... So this is the weird thing........ ya know how before the band you always were amazed and happy with BIG portions (well at Least I was) always wondering if it was worth the money and happy when you could gorge on bread and you meal til you were miserable........ this time was totally different for me......... I'm crossing my fingers that the portions are small enough that I can "pass" with not eating much. I was relieved when they brought out the plate and it had a smallish dish of the crab bake on it.... (pre band I would of been PISSED) the mushrooms looked so good... but what the hell was I THINKING....... too rubbery for me luckily I stopped myself after two small mushrooms... then I picked at the crab bake eating MAYBE half of it.. more like a third.... I was just praying that I wouldn't PB in front of my boss, who has no idea that I've had surgery.... I picked, I put my fork down, I pushed the food around, (all the tricks I've read about) hell I even hid a few of the mushrooms under a big leafy green......... I MANAGED IT.. put my napkin over the plate and called it done.......... weird feeling, but a good one......... totally UNTracy the volume eater. Getting ready to head for bed. NIGHT

GOOD MORNING VIOLETS! I'm in a monkey suit today because I have a meeting at Corporate later.... the upside is THE MONKEY SUIT FIT! The Jacket is a size 14 and although it is a little tight through the boobs it does button and fit my arms........... DF started his new job yesterday and I spent the evening reading his employee handbook........... OMG.. his insurance has a $6000.00 annual deductible for family coverage! (mine is $250 on the expensive coverage and $1500 on the least expensive premium coverage) Terry: My heart breaks for you. My greatest fear is ds thinking shrek is COOL and FUN and wanting to spend time over night with him...... Michelle: WAY TO GO on making the 60's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jen: Good Luck today! Pam: I could NEVER be a teacher... well unless they brought corporal punishment back! (My old principal had a paddle we all had to sign) uhhhh I mean those kids who went to his office had to sign... I'm wearing my WWJD bracelett today.. and I will be thinking of my sistah violets every time I look at it!

I guess you'll have to hang with us crazies til then

I just have to vent this.......... I've been on the phone with the neigboring counties Attorney for Child support (the 2 cases I referred to yesterday) ANYWAY after a chain of phone calls I found out that he currently has NO current warrants in their county.. WHY you ask........ because two weeks ago he paid each of his cases $21 and $25 so that one COULDN'T be issued! My lawyer won't see me til tomorrow so I just called the judges scheduler and she told me how to request a continuance and who to fax it too....... so I typed up a nice little letter explaining why I needed it and faxed it right off.... now I'm just waiting for a call back with a new date.................. Thanks for the shaking bananna's Michelle! Good Luck tomorrow Jennifur! Good LUCK TONIGHT Terry!

Kat & Terry: You guys are so cute when your grumpy! Makes me feel better anyway.... (ducking from what ever you are now throwing at the computer) yes Laura...... SAME JEANS a little over a month ago! This makes my whole friggen day! Where's Pam with her shaking boobies!

Whooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo!

I have to give the shout outs to both Terry and Denise for seeing NEW lows on the scale! (I'm TRYING to catch you Denise!!!!!!!)

This morning! Breathing is over rated right? :eek:

LOL! I found something that helps when I'm stuck.. thought you'd might find it handy.. Take a hot shower... for some reason it has helped thing pass through... WEIRD! OK... gotta go.. biggest loser reunion is on tonight

Laura: I love carbs..... but I know that I can't eat them and now that I'm at full restriction... there is no friggen way I can even take a bite of rice, bread, or anything Doughy... but as you read from my earlier post I can still do crackers.......... thin crackers not crackers that turn doughy... (think chicken in a biscutt type) NOOOOOOOOOway.. but the really thin wheat crips seem be fine........ also... I can no longer do melted cheese......... (think white cheese some mexican restraunts use) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOway... but I can do a pc of cheddar sliced off a block.......... oh and I can't do cheese and crackers together....... NOOOOOway. Weird...... I know........... oh... and I can not stomach shredded chicken.. blech! :eek: and dark meat chicken all the way.. white is way too dry! Oh and grilled burgers go down best if I've mixed in some dry ranch mix.. makes them juicy.......... and reheated meat of anykind NOOOOOOOway OK... going now.

Well the upside to all this is that I've had coffee w/sf creamer 3 bites of cottage cheese 1 sbd Protein bar (that took most of the day to eat) 7 all bran garlic crackers (damn crackers go down too easily) 1 pudding cup around 60 oz's of Water................. so actually besides upping my protien It looks like a pretty good food day to me.......... as for SHREK........... He makes me so angry...... the kind of angry that you just want to punch him in the head (never have I felt such a deep dislike for someone) If I really looked deep into myself it would be partly because I allowed myself to be in a bad situation with him for two years... and that he is SUCH a good liar... .... my guess is that he is doing all of this out of spite, (for going to jail) and that is what makes me the MOST angry.. what happens when the novelty wears off and he disappears for another year or two...... YUP, Tracy as a momma grizzley isn't a very pretty site...... Time to get out of here............ Df is making spaghetti tonight so that means I will try to eat some meat sauce for dinner.

warning story ahead.. feel free to skip......... Married to HS sweetheart together for 17 years... He cheated and left on New Years eve....... 2 weeks later I meet Sons Bio (he was the bouncer at the bar) BAD BAD BAD time in my life.... but for some reason his sperm was strong enough to get this formerly infertile girl preggers... also he was only #2 on the sex partner list..... He has 4 kids, 4 women, all of us formerly infertile... go figure... HE IS 6'7" and was around 350-400 lbs... big bully... sadly, this strong independant woman that I am was at a low point and became a victim of both physical and mental abuse... ME the woman who helped build TWO homes didn't have the self esteem enough to paint a wall..... pathetic..... I found out who my true friends were during this time... the ones who loved me in spite of the crazy acting Tracy that I had turned into...... It was bad..... anyway a year into it... I turned up preggers.. everything changed.... I had a reason for living again and slowly as the months went on I regained my TRACY... He always told me that as soon as I became pregnant I turned into a major bitch.. I just explained to him that NO.. I was just turning back into Tracy and that he needed to get out... he said he'd NEVER LEAVE and that there was NO ONE who could make him leave....... so, I started planning for a way to get rid of shrek...... but was also torn about the biological factor...... HE IS BAD NEWS...... but he gave me my son and he begged me to let him be the dad he couldn't be to the others so I tried.. I really did... to put it midly it flopped..... big time.. I made his visitation during the week so it wouldn't interfere with his party lifestyle... but he wouldn't leave ME alone.... driving by my house reving up his engine, being in my driveway when I got home from work with empty whiskey bottles and then leaving before the cops got there...a wheel on my car came flying off while driving down the interstate.. neighbors telling me that he would pull down at the end of the block with his lights off and look around my windows..Hell he even tracked me down while on a date and scared the bejesus out of a poor guy that I was meeting for dinner! He had his entire family believing that I didn't want my son.. (he is THE BEST LIAR you will ever meet).... In 2006.. Feb-April, we had even tried court ordered supervised visitation.. twice a week I took my son to a place where he was allowed to spend an hour with him totally supervised..... he HATED it.. said it was BS...(he is even on a first name basis with the judge) UNBELIEVABLE.. (He had tried to get my son to only call me Tracy or say the F word, or momma's a bitch) very immature stuff....... anyway.. he finished the 12 weeks of CASA and showed up to court... he and I got into it and he started crying telling me to f off and that I had won........ at the time I went even MORE off the deep end telling him that it wasn't about he or I WINNING it was about him stepping UP to be a man.. I even made his big ass come back INTO the court room to tell him to sit his ass down and that he needed to go through the proper steps because I knew he did LOVE his son..... He just said he didn't have "it" in him and he left before the judge even got into the courtroom......... and that was a year ago April. I yelled at him that he was making the choice then and there to be IN his life or OUT. (he has another son who is now close to 12... that son has a screwed up head due to shrek constantly being let in and out) and that mother has always left the door open... Cody used to cry hysterically if I wasn't there by 5:15 to pick him up because he would freak out that "dad had forgotten him again" I told Shrek that MY SON WOULD NOT BE LIKE CODY! He WOULD have a better life!............ So now my son is 4 years old, he doesn't ask about him... I do have things that I have saved for his baby book when he gets older... but mainly Robby says.. "remember that one big guy?" I say "yes bubba I do." He says "He gave me that orange motorcycle".. I say "yes.. he did and no you can't play with it til your older." He says, "Mom you know what?" I say, "what?" He says... "I have two dads isn't that cool?" I say "That is WAY cool bubba!" The last time this happened was about a year ago......... We don't talk about him at all............... SO ANYWAY.. What has happened is that he got put in jail for a child support arrest warrant, and the way to bond out of jail is to pay $500 or whatever and a portion of that bond money goes to the child support case that was responsible for the warrant........ while in front of the judge he asked for parenting time, and because of that ORAL request, I am now called to court. He did it on the states dime, and I have to hire a lawyer to fight it........... The ass is so freaking smooth in front of the judge..... what will most likely happen is that he will have to go back through 12 weeks of CASA again..... Lets see... how Jerry Springer is this? in MO he is on 3 years supervised probation for non payment of child support. In my county he has 1 case, where warrants get served every 30 days for non payment In a neighboring county he has 2 cases, same issue.......... and HE NEVER GETS CAUGHT! and when he does he pays his way out of jail and disappears. He lives with a woman who is MARRIED and her husband is in JAIL..... they are constantly getting evicted from where ever they stay....... the last time I saw him in passing he was painting and looked like he had dropped a good 100 lbs...... DF jokingly said... "Hey maybe he got banded?" More like crackwatchers...... and to top it off... In august I did recieve $200 in child support....... and the older kids have been burning up my cell phone trying to talk to my son........ drama drama white trash drama.... I've been keeping it all at bay until now.... no wonder my band is swollen up so tight I don't even feel thirsty! I am in momma grizzley mode right now.

Checking in......... had a great weekend at the rally... but as soon as I got home and checked my mail.. I've been in the dumper. Short story..... son's bio is resurfacing. Got a letter over the weekend from my lawyer with a copy of a court order....... seeing my lawyer later this week...... (he has 4 kids, none of which he sees.. why us?) pain in the ass, deadbeat ass, imature, no job, no residence.... etc.... I want to eat, but can't (due to stress I'm sure).......... busy day at work.. gotta go.

TGIF! I just dropped my son off at grandmas and I snuck in here to peek.. I'm at her desk... Have a great weekend.... I will answer the goal question on Monday.

I projectile puked in our truck and it was NOT pretty!!!!!!!! I told DF, whatEVER you do........... DON'T LOOK (The man can pick up guts off the street but puke will have him passed out in seconds)....... I am really suprised it wasn't a chain reaction...... oh lord luckily I had "supplies"....... NO HAMBURGER HELPER!!! and I was even careful to pick out the pasta....... I was hungry and ate too fast obviously tooo much and BAMMO...... yet another bandlesson learned! Denise: Watchout........ here I come! I will try and sneak a peek in the morning before we pull out.. (gates don't open til noon but I know all the people working it so my plan is to be setting up camp by 11:00 a.m.) DF is NOT a drinker at all............ compared to him I'm a lush.... so dont worry Terry.. Neither one of us believe in drinking and driving let alone RIDING.....we take our ear plugs when ready for bed.. although this year we we will be in a camper instead of a tent........ I will be catching LOTS of grief but I don't care! AC and COFFEE in the am! Have a great evening............ there is no friggen way those jeans will fit by tomorrow with TOM here, but 2 weeks and they will be MINE!

Michelle: HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! You are too wound up.. you need a good soaking in a hot tub full of bubbles! Congrats on the no points on your ticket... I've entered the land of the bloggers.. its now in my signature. I will be out of town starting tomorrow for the weekend........ DF and I are going to a Rally with our camper and a generator! We live close enough that we can pull the camper out first and then come back and get the bikes..... We will be kid free W/AC.............. and wouldn't you freaking know it............ TOM started Today! So much for Tracy getting any.... (I even bought condoms out of my FSA account) I WILL be indulging in a few adult cocktails while sitting around the camper! Glugalug Crystal light and Parrot Bay Glugalug Have a glorious weekend

Don't beat yourself up.. you are now entering the first level of Bandster Hell! The time after surgery and before your first fill.. where you are getting hungry and CAN eat. Settle in for the ride, because you are on the banded side of life now... Congrats on your band!

CONgRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe you could link up with someone else around here to go with you

CONGRATS to all who've made it to the elusive ONEderland this week!

Onederland by Christmas is my goal!

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