ElusiveQuality

But I'm so tired of doing it by myself to myself. That's why I'm here looking for a threesome. This side is so much more entertaining than the men's.

It mattered in my case. No CPAP, no surgery.

Yup, I'm appalled that you're calling her a friend. She's holding you back, and from what you describe, not adding one positive thing to your life. My advice would be to lose her. People put you down because of insecurities in themselves. As you described, when you do something positive she undercuts it. She has a problem with her self-esteem and you shouldn't waste any of your time and energy on her dysfucntions. Get the band, lose the weight, don't give a damn about whether she finds out or not. Get your degree, get a job and leave the negative people in the dust. Too many good things ahead of you to waste a moment of time on somebody that wants to screw up your life.

You're probably experiencing a clumping episode where the small particles of food are bunching together at the stoma and the combined mass can't slide through. This happens with dry meat for me. Doesn't matter how much I chew that pork chop, the itty-bitty meat fibers are going to bunch up. The only remedy is to eat super slow or eat a bite of something else with this food to help lubricate the particles.

I don't think it's going to matter who you go to for information. They'll both have the answers to the beginner's questions. For that matter, the posts on this board probably has answers to most every question you have. I'd suggest going to the close one.

Beer would be bad if you gulped, but sipped over an extended period of time probably won't hurt. I've had my second fill and I still drink (very slowly) carbonated beverages. I'll do a 12 oz can in a half hour. Sip, burp-burp-burp. Sip, burp-burp-burp. Regardless of what you choose, it's up to you to moderate. Alcohol is emtpy calories and it goes down quickly. The more you drink, the more poor decisions you're apt to make. And since you're probably not going to be eating during this time (right?), the alcohol is going to affect you quickly. Do you have a fried at the bar to help you stop or moderate?

So this overweight person is putting you down, calling you a fat pig and insisting you don't get surgery? I think my response to her would be, "talk to the hand, the hand listens, the hand cares." Sounds like you know the facts and you should listen to your own advice. There's always going to be people that want you to live your life on their terms. I bet you that if you went on weight watchers and lost all the weight, she'd still be ragging on you about how right she was and how you should listen and do whatever she says. Yup, I think hater sums it up right.

My doctor also guages fills by how hungry you are between meals. Once he found out I was snacking, I got my next fill, no problem.

The band doesn't cure diabetes or high blood pressure. Your weight loss does and the band is a big factor in that. I've been banded for 2.5 months and I'm off my blood pressure meds and my diabetes symptoms are gone. If I start eating like I used to before, they'll come back.

It's hard to describe but after the band, I'm not really craving the junk like I used to. I don't know what it is but I haven't been in a fast food restaurant for over two months and I don't miss it. Can't explain why. Also, I can have less and feel sated. The tricks that have worked for me are: 1) Keep small snack portions handy. those 100 calorie cookie packs are a life saver for me. If I'm craving sweets between meals, I do one. Same for 70 calorie pudding cups and yogurts. Plan it into your allocation for the day. Still have sweets. 2) Eat something healthy and blocking before the treat. Baby carrots do it for me. Five or six of those fill the pouch and get a little blockage at the opening so when I have a tiny slice of pie, I'm full. If you're planning daily milkshakes, sundaes, alcohol binges, etc, the band is not going to work well for you. You might do better on a malabsorbtion procedure like RnY which won't let your body absorb all the calories and put you into dumping syndrome if you try. Cal

You will likely need a few to hit the sweet spot. Trying to do it all at once is impossible since everyone is differnent and each fill causes irritation to the pouch. Didn't your doc explain this?

Aunts, uncles, cousins? Lose 'em. Don't look back. You will soon have plenty to do on the weekends. Just learn there are other options.

Amazing! I could never have the stamina to work in a place like that. :confused:

I got one too. Used it for the coughing exercise (trust me, it helps a lot) and to wedge against my left side while I slept for the first month so I wouldn't roll over on my port incision. Cal

This is normal. Yes, you're going to eat more than they say and you can't help it because the food is sliding right past the band now because there's no restriction. My advice is don't punish yourself. Eat to you feel sated, but not full. Eat healthy, not junky. I've lost 24 pounds over the first two months with almost no restriction after two fills. I'm not getting mad or upset because I know until I hit the sweet spot, the power of the band won't be working. No binging, no junk and things are moving along steadily at a couple pounds per week. Hopefully in the next fill or two, I'll be there cruising along. Don't panic, this isn't RnY. Things move a bit slower with the band. It's likely going to take more than one fill to get the restriction you want. Expect to feel some restriction after the first fill but that will likely go away. This is a process. Take your time. Cal

I couldn't give up coffee, but did dilute the caffeine level. I'll by 2 parts decaf to one part caffeinated and mix them together. 3 full cups of coffee, one third of the buzz.

It's easier said than done, but ignore it. Most people that know I've been banded are supportive but I've come to learn in recovery that other opinions don't matter. I'm sure of my motivations and actions and I can live and be happy with it. If you keep looking for other people's approval, you're doing what's in their best interest, not yours. Go forward, be happy. Good Luck, Cal

How many calories are you getting in per day? Almost sounds like your body is going into starvation mode. My doc says that if you can't get 1000 - 1200 calories per day of good food, you're too tight.

Depends upon what you're going to play. If you're a screaming lead in a big band, then probably no. However, anything short of that is going to be trial and error. I'm 2 months out and playing doesn't bother me at all. I waited six weeks after the surgery because that's when my son started up again for school so I really didn't test it and didn't blow anything high and sustained. Take it easy. It sounds like your prof understands so don't risk it. Cal

Your stomach is most likely irritated after the first large fill. It too me about 8 to 10 days before everything came back to normal. Fish is pure Protein and any solid protein source after a fill tends to clump up and give me some pain when it goes through the opening. You will likely not be feeling full after one fill. Unless you're in a lot of pain, ride it out for a few more days and see where you are.

I don't know about divorcing my family, but I have cut bad influences out of my life so I could live better. From what you say these people feel better about themselves but cutting down others. You don't need that in your life, especially now. You're getting the band and will lose weight. From what you've said, you're probably right in that they will find new things to criticize you with (the band, why didn't you lose sooner, etc). Whether you tell them or not is your call, but if you go around living a lie it's another burden for you to bear. Don't be caught in the trap of thinking "they're family and I have to...". Screw that attitude because you're husband's family is not treating you like family. Just because they share some DNA with your husband doesn't mean that either of you have any obligation to them. You'll have enough lifestyle changes coming up to occupy your thoughts and efforts. You won't need more things on your mind. Dump the negative people. Good Luck.

Food gets stuck at the narrow opening the band creates becauses the food particles are too big to pass or the particles clump together to make a mass that's too big to pass. The type of food differs from person to person but typically it's dry meat, tough stringy food or white bread. You'll know immediately when it happens and it's painful enough that it will cause you to take steps to not let it happen again. Cal

Hmmm, maybe I should change my moniker. How about Mr. Blunt? My final two thoughts on the subject. You are putting your newly formed pouch at risk. The band hasn't seated yet and could shift if you eat too much, too quickly or succumb to something that's not mushy. The reason all of us are getting the labband or have the lapband is that we suck at willpower and self control when it comes to dieting. If this were Thanksgiving of '09 I wouldn't mention a thing but I believe you are risking your band. Everyone here is just a yahoo with an Internet connection. Why don't you ask your surgeon if he thinks it's a good idea. I think everyone here can agree to that? Cal

Was there something that you ate prior to getting to the sweet spot that gave you some restriction? For me, it's pork or baby carrots. I'm sure it's not going to be like it was for the near futre but I'm thinking your goal should be do the least damage possible. Trying to diet "cold turkey" will probably lead to binging so a few treats here and there probably won't be that bad. If you've been off a normal in take a of food for waiting for the unfil, your body could use a little extra nutrition, no? Hang in there, Cal

Amen, sort of... How about help explain the situation and not "tell them off". I really think there's a lot of projection going on here and that some honest sharing will go a long way. Give the inlaws the chance to come through and be supporters. Cal