lellow

Good luck! I knew I would need some surgery when I got to goal, so I guess I wasn't surprised. Hopefully it is affordable for you, I don't regret my surgery for a second!

Just as another anecdote to this story, I went and saw my 7yo the same weekend I wrote the original blog post, and I was talking to my ex about this subject on the Sunday. I showed the ex the picture above and my son spied it over my shoulder. He then got upset because he wouldn't believe that the person on the left was me and thought we were making fun of him.

My older kids remember that photo of course, but obviously my youngest doesn't ever remember mum being heavier...

Can I say that I relate as well, but wanted to add that one thing I have learnt being 5 years post banding is that I never changed. On the outside? Yes. How people treated me? Definitely. But the fundamental part of me, who I was, who I am, remains the same. That doesn't change with the what you weigh.

The difference though between me and someone who was always thin is that I recognise that someone's weight doesn't define them. And it doesn't define me. Nor should it define you. Fat, thin, you will still be you.

Oh lord can I relate. All the people who were banded with me got restriction early and started losing. Me? I had to diet like all hell and exercise like a demon to lose half the weight they were losing.

I felt like I'd never get to that 'elusive' green zone. Why was it so much harder for me???

But the funny thing is that the eating habits and exercising that I did helped me lose most of my weight before I even got to green zone. Once I did get there (8.5cc in a 10cc band) it became EASY. To lose the rest, to keep losing past goal, and then to maintain for 3 years because I had learnt the good lessons about how to eat and how to keep active.

And on average, my 'slow' loss was actually about 10lbs a month on average. Less to start with and more as I got fitter and I felt the effects of the band with my later fills. I lost 70lbs in 7 months, but if you told me that in the beginning I wouldn't have thought it was possible.

Yes it's different for different people but it doesn't mean it's a bad different. It's just different. Hang in there.

I don't mind reiterating something to anyone who is really interested in figuring it all out. I am not the quickest to learn either, I'm too stubborn for my own good sometimes. It's not that sort of poster that bothers me, so please don't think that it's at all what I'm saying. It's more those who, for example, insist that they need to be so tight they can't do anything but drink protein shakes because that MUST be how people lose weight with the band, or get angry because the band magically didn't take every shred of hunger away, or are pissed off because they don't understand why they need to get fills because surely it should have worked and made them lose 50lbs straight after surgery that make me cringe. Wanting to learn is one thing, making mistakes and admitting them is another thing, but not knowing anything but pretending like you know everything? Yeah, no, I have no more patience for that. And you know when it's time to take a break when you see those posts and it feels like they're EVERYWHERE, when they're probably not.

Thanks everyone. One of the lovely ladies here messaged me on FB about this asking if it was anything in particular. It's not. It's just a general thing. Just same old, same old. I think when I posted this blog last night I was feeling particularly tired of it all, and I apologise for being more dramatic than was probably necessary.

I still won't be reading or responding to posts for a while, because I do believe it's not a bad thing for someone to take a break from this place now and again, just to shed the negativity of it all and enjoy their lives, but I'll still be around, in chat or via PM, because I know I have friends here who I would miss and who would have my back if I needed them to.

So it's not farewell, it's just that I'm going to be quieter around the place.

I think there is confusion about 'healthy'. Whole foods are healthy, but eat too much of it and it's not healthy anymore. Vegetables are healthy, but eat your potatoes smothered in cheese sauce and I'm pretty sure you're on the road to high cholesterol.

I agree that not allvegans/vegetarians eat healthy but you have to admire their ability to control what goes into their mouths - my boyfriend is vegetarian and his restraint amazes me. I think that is something I definitely aspire to.

I think eating healthy emcompasses eating quality whole foods in moderate quantaties and doesn't just cover the type of food a person eats. And I agree with bayou's point that more people should take a good long look at what goes into their mouths, and b***h less about how the band didn't make them thin. My band is an amazing tool, but as I always say, it doesn't choose what I put in my mouth.

Nwww happy birthday, my friend. And you know what I think: that at 45, you are still one of the most beautiful women I know. And you have a rockingest bikini body! But I understand the insecurity about it, because I've been there. It's taking that first step, put on that bikini and step out onto that sand, and I promise you, no one is going to laugh at you. In fact, they're going to think you're beautiful, just as much as I do!

I did that Missy, I got to my goal weight where my BMI was 27 and I wasn't happy either.Got to a BMI of 25, and nope, still not happy. So I kept losing, looking for that elusive point where I was happy with what I saw. I realise now I was not ever going to be happy because I always saw my imperfections, and thought I could lose weight and they'd disappear. I now am more accepting of my imperfections and accept that they make me who I am, and that's beautiful too.

I think losing and then gaining has actually turned out to be a godsend for me, because I can see myself more realistically now. Before the leak, I'd stay on or around a BMI of 23 only because my dr threatened to unfill me if I lost anymore. Now it's a more natural decision. I like what I see. That's never really happened for me before.

I had complications too. My band was leaking for 15 months. I gained weight fast and I struggled with hunger. BUT I stopped and took stock, and started focussing on losing again. And I did - 15 lbs in 5 months until I got my band replaced. Gaining and over-eating is not the band's fault, no one controls that but you. The band is there to try to help you NOT over-eat but it won't do it for you.

If you want to lose, you can do it with or without the band. I won't lie, it's HARDER without a band, but it's not impossible. I know it's frustrating having complications and not ever knowing if you'll have a functioning band, because it's something you can't control. I understand, I've been there. But there is ONE thing you can control, and that's whether or not you manage your weight in the meantime, while you're waiting for answers.

Today I was telling myself how good I've been eating all week, so what did I do the minute I got to the shops? Buy a cheesecake when I got my son a cupcake. We are honestly our own worst enemies!

But the good news is halfway through the cheesecake my band kicked my butt, so I stopped eating it. Saying no is SO much harder than saying yes. I can hear myself talking myself into it too "You can probably spare the calories" or "it's no good depriving yourself" but both you and I know it only makes you feel like crap when you give in.

So we need to stop giving in, and stop feeling like crap about ourselves because we gave in. Saying no gets easier the more you do it, so we just need to start doing it more!

Honestly for all the hassle I've had with my band, I'd still do it again 5 times over. It has completely changed my life. Be prepared for something to go wrong, but chances are, nothing will. You've made such progress already! Imagine your life in a year, and in 2 years. Focus on your goal and you will get there, I believe it.

I have to admit, seeing the look on my boyfriend's face whenever I buy something he likes is ALMOST as much fun as actually buying it. You look great btw!

If I'm not yet in the green zone, then I go back for fills every 3 weeks or so until I get to that point. Once you're in the green zone, you really don't have to go back except once or twice a year for check-ups.

When I was maintaining, I saw my dr 6 times in 3 years and some of those times I'd get a teeny tiny top-up fill, but really, there was very little maintenance when I was in the green zone and lost the weight.

I agree completely elcee. That first 'green zone' feeling settled down and eventually I could eat most things just in smaller portions. Which was great for maintaining but not necessarily losing.

That's the part I miss though. The small portions, the not feeling hungry between meals, the ability to graze a little and not feel like I need to wolf it all down! I'm maintaining now but I could easily, so so easily eat more, so it's hard work. And walking away when I'm not even close to satisfied is hard to do 3 times a day. In fact if I'm distracted, before I know it, I've finished a huge plate of food (I did that yesterday ). It's just disheartening when I know the band would have reminded me to stop long before then.

I called last week and tried to get in earlier! He's pretty good in that he knows I know my own body and know when I need a fill. But he was away for a bit so I can't see him until this Friday.

I'm just impatient lol. I'm actually not having too bad a time with it I just want to get there already! With the leak it's been 16 months since I've felt real, lasting restriction and I don't want to wait any longer damnit! I've been fighting my food demons on my own for so long I just want the band to take over already.

carole, I've been a lapband patient now for 5 years. I got my lapband in 2008. I've maintained most of my weight loss despite a band leak that was present for 15 months.

I had a body lift 4 years ago and the plan was to go back to get lipo after 8 months or so to tackle the stubborn fat but I never went back and tried to diet the fat off instead. That didn't work. I have maintained at a BMI of between 22 and 26 for 5 years now, and I currently do not wish to lose anymore.

I have had both a breast augmentation and a lower body lift and both definitely made me happy. So I don't expect the lipo effects to be temporary.

It's a deal! I'm aiming for 130lbs by end July! Let's go!

And omg I now have to spend some major dollars on iron fist. I have some of their shoes already!

No it's a t-shirt from Liquor Brand. Love them, I have 2 of their t-shirts and a handbag!

I'll join you on that bike, btw. Gotta get back into it!

I know where you're coming from. As a big girl, I was the extrovert, the one with the big heart, the one who always gave of myself, but since losing weight I find myself far more cynical and have put up walls to protect myself as well. I don't think I'm any less of the person I once was, I am just more careful about who I'm like that with. You will change as society changes the way it views you, and you will find a new normal, I'm sure of it.

The funny thing is it never even connected in my mind that it might be the Tramadol. But having said that I've been in a fuzzy-brained haze of nausea, so maybe that's why! Today is the first time I actually feel clear headed since my op.

Lapbandster, I had a persistent leak that could't be resolved with a port replacement (i.e. the leak was likely in the band itself), so they had to replace the whole kit and kaboodle.

I think having high expectations is a great thing. I had high expectations, I had no intention of failing, I was going to get to goal and surpass them. I think that's a great headspace for success, personally!

It was different for me in that I lost weight THEN my marriage broke down. Dating after weight loss does make you think 'would he have liked me before I lose weight?' and the extra attention you get makes you jaded sometimes, because you can't help but think, "hey, I'm the same person you would have ignored a year ago".

But in the end, I think what learned was that society is shallow, but it doesn't mean we have to be, and it doesn't mean we have to help facilitate that. So I hope what you get out of this is that your weight should no longer be your go to inescurity.

I was scared of failing too. I thought, if anyone is going to fail this band, I bet it's me.

But then I pulled myself up and thought, stuff this, I am so NOT going to fail this. I just need some help, a little push, to control the hunger, and I'll be fine. And I was.

I recently sprung a leak and I have no restriction and I can tell you now, fighting with hunger again is no picnic. The band took away my hunger, and with some readjustments to the way I thought, I tackled the head hunger while the band tackled the physical hunger. It IS easier to work on the head hunger when the physical hunger isn't derailing you.

So make the decision - you are NOT going to fail this. Set yourself mini goals that you'd like to achieve. Remind yourself of the prize that awaits you. You can make up your mind to do this. You just have to believe it.

And no, I didn't fail. I lost all the weight plus some. And even now, with no restriction, I'm maintaining my weight on my own. If I can do this, someone who was overweight all my adult life, so can you. I'm not special, trust me. So make the decision.