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day 7

Entries in this blog

 

head hunger vs real hunger

I need to get in tune with my band. I suddenly had some type of epiphany. I think since I have been stressed for the last week that I have been having head hunger. I just ate a yogurt and now am getting little rumbles in my stomach. I am concluding that I should wait until I feel the rumbles in my stomach to eat that way I will know for sure if I am actually hungry or if it is just my head playing tricks on me. I can do that or simply eat and snack when I am hungry but I don't want to go over my caloric intake. I feel really bad because I didn't eat much today and the fact that I am still up at this hour and hungry is bad. I really should go to sleep. I know I will have to talk to my doctor about this on the 12th of this month. today I am going hardcore on my exercising. I forgot to do some yesterday. I have to pull myself together. I've made it this far and I have a long way to go.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

two months post op

So it literally has been two months since I have been banded. I know I haven't been exercising regularly and I take full accountability for it. I have been so stressed and busy with handling my personal affairs. I did have a cigarette and a couple drinks, which means I skipped two meals in two days to have those drinks. I know, i know... empty calories and sugar.. Those were my down moments but other than that I have not eaten anything bad.   I do feel like if I get another fill I will not feel like I need to eat more than 1 cup of food. Even though I am eating 1000-1200 My portions are still bigger than normal. I really don't want to hurt my band or myself. Yesterday was the first time I have exercised in a couple days. I am low on energy and I think there might be a slight case of laziness. Hopefully in three days I will be back at another gym but for now I will make more time to get my daily exercise in. I would also like to say that I have been candy sober for 7 months. I can tell that the weight is coming off REALLY slow but I can tell the difference. I just want this to be a success and in order for that to happen I had to take accountability for my actions and remind myself that I have come far. I just have to keep on trucking.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Day 1 all over again.

I didn't fall off of my diet but I have been feeling a little sad bc I have been stressed and I have been skipping meals. I also haven't worked out yet due to my crazy hours and then a couple excuses and I take full responsibility for that. I finally have my step dad and my sister on board with dieting and wanting to work out. So I have a small support system. The only thing is that they don't want to start until september or october. It would be nice if I knew someone who lived in the same area to have as a workout buddy and support system. I mean this site is pretty awesome, but to have someone in person who understands what it is like being banded and to share experiences.   on the other hand, I have lost another 2lbs. which is right on point with how many I am suppose to be loosing. so, I guess a yay is in order. idk my sister was looking at me and told me it looked like I had fake abs drawn on my stomach. lol I think by next year I am hoping to be 100lbs lighter. refocus and get on track. no more misbehaving(even though I haven't eaten anything bad).. This definitely not as easy as i thought it would be and my family isn't exactly being as supportive as I need them to be. So it makes it seem like I am all alone in this journey to weight loss. oh well, venting time is over and now it's time to go make my meals for the day.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

first fill

I had my first fill today and it wasn't fun. I have two bruises and two bandages over my port. I had to get them standing up. I am going to try to work with the fill i received so that I can stay away from being prodded with that big darn needle. I was livid when I saw that I only lost 3.2 pounds but now that I think about it. I dont feel bad about it. I look great in my old clothes and I can go down stairs without sweating.   I was told to stop with the bread, rice and pasta.. I had my hand slapped for that one. I was also told to exercise five days a week for at least an hour. so starting next week that is my new goal.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

List of things I want to be able to do once I reach my goal.

Okay, here are a few things I want to do once I reach my weight goal. wear a bikini.
walk in high heels comfortably.
do a marathon run/walk for a charity.
to be able to run around and play with my little sister without being out of breath or lack of energy.
be more confident.
to stop hiding behind my laptop and enjoy life.
to look and the mirror and be happy with what I see.
to go to my high school reunion as the new me.
to go back to school and be able to fit in those awful desk.
to do a cycling class
to be healthy
I've got a long way to go before I reach any of those goals but for right now I have smaller goals that are achievable for right now. Refer to my blog before this blog. I think a list of goals can be helpful especially if you are serious about reaching them.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Food addiction

I am 39 days into being banded and today I struggled. I am on a low carb/ no sugar diet plan and I had two slices of bread with my chicken. I kind of feel like I am getting hungrier a lot often. every 2-3 hours. I don't want to keep shoveling food into my mouth esp since I am only working out once a day three times a week. I feel like I am battling with food addiction. I mean I have never had any issues with food thus far. I am just genuinely worried that if I eat again tonight I might eat too much. I am looking forward to having my first fill in five days. I am hoping that I will get the restriction I need and to be able to get satisfied and start making my mark.   I didnt want to get into the habit of weighing myself but I am flirting with the idea of buying a scale. Idk what I am doing wrong. I eat my 60g of protein. I eat my protein first. I am making healthy choices minus the bread. Maybe I am just obsessing right now. I need to breathe and relax. I think I will be much better once I see my doctor and dietician. I am hoping I make it to my first goal of reaching 299 by my appointment. I would be sad if I dont reach my goal. I love seeing them happy when I show up and surpass their expectations.   So, Ive been thinking about my goal list I previously had. I think some of it is unrealistic.   Goal 1- is to go from 310 to 299. by the first of september. I've been working on it since July first. Goal 2- work out starting in one week four times a week for an hour. Goal 3- Avoid bread, pasta and rice. Goal 4- Have fun more. Goal 5- take more pictures to have as a guide on how much I have loss.   the rest will be updated at a later date.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

band anniversary

Today is my one month anniversary for being banded. I don't know if I reached my goal of being 299. I won't know until I go to the doctors office. which is on the 13th of august. I don't care what the scale says. I know I have lost weight because I can fit my 30/32 pants and they are a bit loose. so yay to me. lol I am going to start exercising more and start shedding these pounds so I can start feeling better. I need to boost my energy level. I still feel like I have a lack of energy. I have to go now because my lunch is finally here. good day everyone.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

update

I am anxious to know what I have lost since my last weight was recorded. I have to wait 14 days before I find out my weight and to get my fill. I haven't been working out as much as i used to but i am working on that now. My gym doesnt offer a pool. i LOVE SWIMMING. I just don't want to spend 200 down and 30-80 bucks a month on gym memberships. I am not made of money. So I guess I will stick with them and walk. three times I have made bad food choices and I feel bad about it now because I thought I would never do it and I have. I am not going to beat myself up over it. I have to make better decisions. So i went shopping and got my food for the week. healthy choices and great snacks.   another thing that is annoying me or rather was annoying me is comments. I love hearing other peoples advice on certain things. I also like to add my two cents to certain conversations where someone might ask for help. just remember your band issues/ results will not be the same for everyone.   oh, I also want to add a 5k marathon to my list of goals.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Day 20 with heat rashes and pain

So today I noticed I have another heat rash.. It's my underarm.. Its extremely painful but not as intense as the one under my belly and thighs. I felt like a baby was ripping through every single pore in all of the regions. lol literally burning and swelling all over the place. It is worrying me because I think I might be losing weight too fast. I mean I am still fairly new to the band. I regret letting myself get this far before I decided I needed help... weight wise. I watched some body sculpting surgeries and it honestly freaked me out. I know for sure I am going to need the following: arm lift, boob lift, corset trunkplasty, thigh lift, ankle lipo, my calves might need a little lipo, a but lift/transfer of fat to reshape my bottom. I don't think I will be able to get around having most of that done. I am still early in the game to think about it, but it is something I am going to have to face.   I am still not eating enough protein.. I know, I know... 60-80grams a day. pffff I can't even get to 600 cals still. I had half of 1/2 cup of oatmeal for breakfast. for lunch I had one salmon patty. and for dinner I had One chicken tamale(I peeled off most of the "shell".) Tomorrow I am going to the store to by my meals for the week. That way I can make healthier choices and buy more protein induced foods. Anyone tried asparagus ? I want to try it but I don't know how to cook it or how it taste. does it taste like broccoli or string beans??   I think I am still drinking too fast. I haven't puked or felt like something got stuck. I am just so damn thirsty. My job doesn't have air right now and its been 98-104 degrees. So I have been trying to sip but I know im not getting 64oz of water per day. Even my sleep is jacked up. I know that my band and I will start to work together and things will be better but for now things are not going so smooth. it could be worse, I could still be 380lbs. I can't wait to weight myself. First goal is to get to 299. It looks like I might end up losing over 100lbs in one year.. im more than half way there already and I still have five months left. I just have to keep telling myself that I am fighting for my life and that I can do this.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Lovely day (day 18)

SO I went to see my mom and my nana today. She looked at me and said I looked great. I got up to pull the couch cover up a bit and she said my bum is getting bigger. like the fat from my stomach is going to my butt. lol I laughed and I later looked in the mirror and it is true.. I might have a bum. lol anywho, My hunger is starting to come. I ate 1/4 cup of oatmeal for breakfast. and dinner I had Steak and a few grapes. That's all I could process for the day. I am happy because that's more than what I have been doing.   Newly single so I guess that' s a plus. At a time like this I guess its better to be single. I have all the support I need to get me by. Tomorrow I am going to focus on getting my protein in or at least getting more of it in. I read on here that someone was taking in more than 100 protein per day. I researched it and it stated too much protein is bad for you. So that's one negative that I saw on here. Another thing that happened today that kind of made me think, its okay to share your success or journey with other people but just know its only your opinion so don't be pushy. Doctors wouldn't tell you anything to hurt you on purpose. At least I hope not. lol .   I am so ready to start back working out. I wish I had some sort of connection with someone who works at a gym with a pool. I went to lifetime fitness in chicago and it was 160 down and 80 a month. The good thing was that it had an outdoor pool and two big indoor pools. three hot tubs and it was 24hours. But holy cow I couldnt imagine paying that much and I can't even bring a guess but 3 times a year. I feel really lonely working out alone. I wish I had a workout partner that was serious about working out. I really want one that has a pool because I love swimming and aqua classes.   my new goal is to be at 299 by the middle of August, and then to be 250 the end of the year. I dont want to lose weight to fast. I want to do it smart and healthy. I am so ready to finally start living after so many years of making myself a prisoner . Maybe this will also help me be less shy. Well I've said too much and I want to take a break from this laptop.. SO until LATER!!!

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

learned the hard way

I ate breakfast fine today. I had 1/2 a cup of oatmeal with whey. I made lunch and dinner and guess what I did?? I left it at home. I get to work and I have nothing healthy to eat so I go the whole day with just sipping water and chewing sf gum. I get off work and order a steak sope (its like a small round taco but not really a taco). I didnt eat the shelling because I am scared of stretching my band.   SO I am taking small bites and chewing well. I was so hungry that I kept eating until I started getting a little pain my stomach. literally right below my boobs. I was amazed at the small amount of food that I consumed sent me over the edge. now I feel like i have a food baby. my band only has 1cc in it so idk what I did wrong. I wonder if that was a sign that i was close to being full or if it was a sign that i was full. it was my bad day at work that led to my stress and the fact thAT I DID NOT TAKE A BREAK TODAY.   in other news i find it amazing that everyone is noticing my weight loss. My friend said it looked like i had lost 100 lbs when i really only lost about 66. that makes me happy and gives me the strenght to continue. I know i can do this. since I am still new to this and learning how to work with my band I take this day as a lesson. double check my purse for my lunch. lol or always keep a protein shake in my purse.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

day 15

I know I am suppose to be eating mushy food but honestly how am I going to eat 1200 cals in mushy food? Also, its high in cals and I dont want to gain some of the weight I lost back.. i haven't been eating over 600 calories in one day. So I had oatmeal with whey powder for breakfast. for lunch I had half a protein shake and for dinner I had a cup of ground turkey with sour cream and 1/4 cup of low fat cheese. I broke down and had a soft shell tortilla. I tore it in half and only ate one piece to see if I could tolerate it. I did, but that doesn't mean I will try to see what I can get away with eating. I mean, my doctor did say not bread, pasta and rice. out of all of them pasta will be the hardest because baked mostaccioli is my best dish. thanks to another band member, I have a recipe for noodle-less lasagna that I am dying to try.. I just hope that I like zucchini.   the only issues I am having at the moment is drinking water or crystal lite. I know what a gulp is and that's not what I am doing. I am taking small bits of water and swallowing it. by it being really hot(90-98) I get the feeling of extreme thirst. So usually I down a 16 oz water bottle down in five ten mins top. I am sipping but I never move my lips from the bottle. MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD DO A YOUTUBE VIDEO SHOWING THE PROPER WAY TO SIP WATER WHILE HAVING THE LAPBAND. I'm obsessing over sipping water. I know my doctor said just don't gulp it down and I haven't been.   Some positive things that happened today was my friend whom I haven't seen in 3 weeks said I looked good. he had no idea what that did to my ego lol. jk but it did feel nice. another things is that I have a job interview this wednesday. I am excited. I hope I get it and like it. anything really is an upgrade from where I am at right now. well I am getting sleepy and I have to be up soon ..

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

day 12

so I am a little over 60lbs down in weight. I am already showing signs of weight loss. I have sagging skin in my thigh area and my boobs. I really loved my boobs and they are leaving me. I developed a heat rash from the friction when I move.. I thought if I lost it slow enough I wouldn't have much skin. I really can't blame myself because I am half to blame for being obese anyways. The important thing is that I care now and I am more dedicated than I have ever been. The thing that has me so down in a funk is that my job is not being so supportive. they don't know what surgery I had and they never will, but they are just being unfair about certain things.   I still feel a lot of restriction even with them taking 1cc out of my band. I am able to eat a little bit more. for some reason I can not tolerate my normal protein shakes. But I can eat 2 egg whites and 1/4 of a banana. then for lunch I had two chunks of pineapples , 7 grapes, and two small chunks of watermelon. I haven't had dinner yet because I am not hungry yet. Tomorrow I return back to work to see how I fair out. tomorrow. will be a better day...

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Day 11 part two

So I went to the doctor today to have my staples removed and boy did that hurt. Then she told me she was going to check to see how much liquids I had in my band. The nurse walks up to me with this needle that was about 4 inches long. I started freaking out because I thought that whole thing was going in me. After she found my port she poked me and that was it.. it did not hurt when she drained me.. then filled me up with 1cc. so now i should be doing fine. I still am feeling very sleepy and low on energy but I am hoping things change. I wont see them for five weeks for a possible fill. I still dont have an appetite for food although this food my sister is cooking smells great.   The great news is that i lost 13 more pounds in two weeks. that is awesome.. I am so proud of myself and i am ready for more success with the band. Also, my other doctor told me that they will talk to me later about the lipo choices. I might qualify for free lipo since my skin on skin action is causing friction and irritation. so i will see.. I need a nap so i wil log latter. chow!!!

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

day 10 post-opt

I have to admit I am proud to say I finally was able to drink a full bottle of water today!!! I know it doesnt sound like much but believe me its the most i have been able to drink since I was banded. sucky thing that bugged me yesterday was the slight break out episode I had yesterday. Its pretty bad but I have some medicine that is suppose to help with the irritations. I am so close to being under 300lbs i can smell it. I only wish I had done this years ago but that is in the past..   my new life began the day I was banded. one more day until I am in the mushy food phase and then one week after that it will be solids. I am excited. Visited my mom today and she noticed my weight loss. she was very proud of me. I can not wait for more wL. I am hoping that with my new found health I will be able to be clear of all the health issues and develop a fresh outlook on other things. Well thats all i have to say for now.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Day 8 post-opt

I was able to eat another jello cup and a sugar free Popsicle It's strange because I can feel my stomach making sounds like its hungry but i don't have an appetite for food. in an hour i will try to drink a protein shake. I've been reading a lot of blogs and comments on here and its making my head spin. I am worried about getting filled. some people said it hurt and they didn't feel good after the shot. I was under the impression that they numbed the port site before injecting you with the needle??   I was happy when I saw my friend gabby yesterday. She gave me a hug and looked at me and said you look great and she noticed that I lost weight. That felt great to hear someone say 327 looked great. I'm sure I am less than that. I just don't want to face the scale because It's not really about the numbers. its about how i feel. coming from 379/380 all the way to the low 300's is awesome. I can walk down a flight of stairs now without slumping over or being out of breath. I can walk on a treadmill for an hour at a pace of 2.0-2.6. and I know once i am able to workout again I will continue to progress. My goal is to be able to run. i have a little niece and a little sister that I want to be able to chase around.   since I have an extra day off I will spend it trying to relax and focus on getting better. My life has already changed. I've meet three people here who inspired me and many others whose stories have help me. I wish they were in chicago or close around my hometown. I could use a buddy during these times. it helps to talk to people who know what you are going through. ive vented enough for now. enjoy your day. sorry about my randomness and grammar. I am not going to spend much time worrying about that, simply just expressing myself.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

one week banded

I received a call from my doctor ten mins ago. I asked her if everything I am experiencing was normal, She said if I am not tolerating my fluids and they come back up I need to go to the er. I will see how today goes. I know last was rough. I felt dizzy and hungry. I felt like I had not eaten enough or drank enough water. I did a skin test for dehydration. (You go to the middle of your arm and you take your index finger and thumb and pull a chuck of skin up. if it goes back down you are fine. if it stays in that pinched position you need to seek help).   I forgot to ask my doctor if my band was pre-filled. she informed me that if I had any other questions or concerns to call them. I just don't want to become a pain in the butt, but this is my health and life so maybe I should keep asking. They have a support group but it is not nearly anything like this site. Today is my first day of work. I start at 3pm. I am low on energy and I won't be able to rely on my energy drinks and no vitamins. I just have to get through four days before I can move on to the mushy foods. I hope I can tolerate eggs and oatmeal. I don't understand how I can't have grits but I can eat oatmeal. They said it's because grits are sliders.   I guess I am going to try to drink some soup and see how I feel because my stomach is starting to talk. lol I hope you all have a great day.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

sickness

Im feeling a little sick right now. I am not sure if I am dyhydrated, bloated, hungry, or sick. perhaps all of the above. I feel like I am going to vomit but nothing is coming up. I really don't want to force it. So in the morning I will be calling my clinic to ask them if the way im feeling is normal for a week after being banded. Im going to try to drink some water and try to go to bed. maybe that will help.

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

 

Day 7

As stated it is day 7 for me or to be more accurate day 6 and five hours... I am able to drink a little bit more of water today. I think I might have gotten one and a half cups of water down for the entire day. I am still having chest pains but only when i sip my liquids. its strange because it is like i can now feel the liquids traveling down my throat into my stomach. I stop because i feel like the water or broth is coming back up. I am getting a small appetite back but I can't eat. tomorrow is my first day at work, i don't think i am ready, but I am out of vacation time. I hope it goes well. I am going to try to sip some green tea and chicken broth. good day!!

Adrienne21

Adrienne21

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