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Fear....

Omg... So this is a big week for me... full of anxiety... and self doubt.

 

first... today is a suck ass day.... i hate birthdays and today is a big one... 45. I woke up this morning thinking... OMG... In 5 years i will be 50... I tell you just typing that put a lump in my chest... I'm getting old... :(

 

second... Going to biloxi ms with my Best Friends... Gina's birthday was Saturday , mine today and Tracy's next Saturday. So this is what's keeping me up.... the dreaded SWIMSUIT.... This year will be my first time on the beach in a bikini in over 20 years. This is what's playing over and over in my head...... Walking on the beach, people looking and thinking...Who told her she could wear that... She must not have mirrors at her house... Or what if what i see in the mirror is only a refection from a fun-house mirror.... and im really disgusting and ..... omg... i'm driving my self crazy.

 

and i didn't get to tan like i wanted .... so now i got white fat on top of all that..... CG.. send me some of your fabulous tan...

 

Ok, Chris... Take a deep breath and remember.... this is as good as it get for now...

6 Comments

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dylanmiles23

LAP-BAND Patients

Happy Birthday-to you!!!!!!!!! As for people looking at you in a bikini, there is always someone who looks worse than you. Been there, seen it all. I have always done the compare looking. Or if it really bothers you that much, wear a sexy one piece.

As for being 45, you're healthier this year than last year and that adds years onto your life. So you are just beginning.

lellow

LAP-BAND Patients

Nwww happy birthday, my friend. And you know what I think: that at 45, you are still one of the most beautiful women I know. And you have a rockingest bikini body! But I understand the insecurity about it, because I've been there. It's taking that first step, put on that bikini and step out onto that sand, and I promise you, no one is going to laugh at you. In fact, they're going to think you're beautiful, just as much as I do!

Sharpie

LAP-BAND Patients

wow so you have concerns about being 45.. lol wish I was only 45 again.. but my daughter reminds me that every day is a gift.. She treats terminal cancer patients every day.. so when I whine about getting old or whatever she brings me back to what is really important in life.. and if you can even wear a bikini you are 90 % luckier than most of us.. I will never be able to wear another bikini.. too old for one thing and too flabby for another.. gravity is a b...so you go strut yourself on the beach and enjoy..

☠carolinagirl☠

LAP-BAND Patients

i will give you some tan for some of those gorgeous sexy bod you got....

i see that as a fair trade GF

**you are a walking/talking/looking success story**

from one biker ole lady to another....YOU f**king rock

BayougirlMrsS

Gastric Sleeve Patients

I love you guys..... hugs to you all. God i wish you all lived near me. I need an At-A-Boy box on my desk with all of your voices keeping me encouraged. And every time if feel down... all i have to do is open my box..... Wouldn't that be great.

You all inspire me every day.....

PS... Yes CG its a deal

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