JaysWife

Is your insurance through your employer? I doing my sleep apnea test tonight at home just to cover my basis. I hope you will keep appealing.

Good luck!! 🌟🌟

I thought I was the only one with a dislike of the term pouch. It's just weird to me. Lol

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.
A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.
Her comment to that is the kicker.
I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.
Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.
A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.
Her comment to that is the kicker.
I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.
Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

Good luck!! 🌟🌟

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.
A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.
Her comment to that is the kicker.
I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.
Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.
A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.
Her comment to that is the kicker.
I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.
Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

so my jaw hit the floor... what a horrible thing to say. My 2 cents..... don't tell her or anyone else about the SX. You will thank me in the long run. No family, no friends, no co workers..... if you can uber to and from... Do it. People are mean and judgemental.... they will say the most horrible things.... Even the people who love you the most.
If your mom ask, tell her you changed your mind and you are going to diet and exercise. I can tell you right not, this "mother" will continue to make cracks and will not be supportive. If she asked, tell her you don't want to talk to her about it anymore.... you do you.....

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.
A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.
Her comment to that is the kicker.
I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.
Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

I am still fighting with them. They have "misplaced" or "not received" the documents they need 3 times now. They FINALLY have them scanned into their system as of 3/10 but I was told it can take them another 30 days to process them. And that's just for the predetermination. I still have to go through the pre-certification process yet. My surgery has been pushed out 3 times now. I have a new tentative date of 4/7 but I'm not holding my breath for that to be the actual surgery date. It's been a nightmare in all honesty. The back and forth between insurance and the surgeons office, the uncertainty of whether I'm actually going to be approved or not, and the rescheduling of things over and over again. There have been many times through it all where I have very seriously thought about just saying eff it all and giving up. But I know this is kind of like my last hope so I keep at it. I call the insurance company every other day to try to get updates even though it's always the same thing. I was finally told that I should have an answer by this Wednesday so fingers crossed I do and it's a good one. My recommendation is to stay on the insurance company, keep records of who you speak to and when, and just be prepared for possible scheduling changes. I truly hope my case is just a fluke and that others don't have to go through all of this!!

@NovaLuna Its crazy - It seems like we're just expected to grin and bear it. Don't kick up a fuss, expect to be treated badly, expect your needs will not be met. Like when the doctors ask you to undress and wear those crappy paper gowns / shorts / tops and they only come in a size Medium. Like.... Really?

My game plan going forward is to speak up. I'm not embarrassed to ask for what I need.

just saying : No such thing as foreplay , And who ever cums first wins ! LOL

I have it on good authority that "foreplay" is a myth.

Every so often I feel torn on these forums about my role and what I should say.
On the one hand, I'm a veteran now....and have had success with this whole undertaking that I feel pretty proud of. There are a lot of struggles and things that I can comment about with some hard earned observations and experiences. I can be all.....mentory...and have good mentor-ish things to say to newbies.
Sometimes I feel a responsibility to *provide a good example* and only say things that are in harmony with the bariatric sages...and play the proper acolyte to the Bariatric Authority.
But here's the part where I feel torn.
I also want to tell the truth. I want to be the kind of poster I really enjoyed reading when I was first looking into this crazy ride.
I want to be unvanished, raw and HONEST. Because I value that in people. I value that risk. I value those stories....because sometimes people really need those stories. Even if they're terrible advice and provide a terrible example! Sometimes just knowing someone else....occasionally has a horrible day and eats the entire pack of four Yasso bars....helps you to live your life and forgive yourself.
I want to say: Yes, I drink diet soda. I know it's probably unwise and I also know there's hype about it that's untrue....AND....I know a lot of you drink it, too. And some of you drink real soda.....and will probably rot in hell for it. LOLOLOL
Ya'll won't admit it....but I've seen ya. I've peeked in those windows and I know you do all sorts of awful stuff. You eat peanut M&Ms and drink soda and beer and buy the occasional McDonald's kid's meal and can of Pringles. At Christmas, you cheat. You eat stuff you shouldn't. You ate Halloween candy. Ok, it was just a couple of pieces...but it made you happy.
We're not perfect. We screw up. We make questionable choices. Sometimes regularly. We STILL have unhealthy food moments. We're works in progress.
Can we talk about it as adults...knowing it's a crap example...but also knowing that it's human?
We still do weird assed extreme things in realtion to food.
How many calories in two almonds and one dried cherry? I HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN.
How many grams of protien in one pint of donated blood? How many calories do I lose when I menstruate? I had a cold and blew my nose ten times and the internet says snot is made of protien...do I have to up my protien?
I once heard a lady on one of these boards say....she had her flinstone chewable multi vitamin....for dessert after her meal. And it was delicious. 😳
Is it wrong to admit I wanted to slap her?
I'll admit it...I ate a S'more about two weeks after I had surgery. I remember it as the most exquisite thing I've ever eaten...and I nibbled that one little square of heaven all night in front of the fireplace with the Christmas lights on. Licked it, actually. Down to a stump. LOL.
And Yes, ..a part of me is still screaming at myself.....You had a freaking S'more right after your surgery???? What the actual H*ll???!!! What were you thinking? (I lived...crap, I even lost weight to goal...but I commited this food crime. Guilty.)
Sometimes I think we lose our humanity in this environment....because as some folks have noticed, there's a competative thing. Some weird ick factor of needing the best score...the tiniest dinner...the least daily calories. "I'm going to get down to my original weight of 9 pounds 3 ounces if it kills me. Could someone please eat the other half of my lentil? It's too much for me."
And then I think....crap, maybe these folks really ARE as together as they seem and I'm just nutty and disordered and still fighting through this mess everyday three years out...isn't normal...
But then I look at the number of folks who wash out...and think......nope. MOST of us are struggling and screw up. MOST of us continue to screw up and figure it out.
Would be fun to do the research to put an actual number on it....
But I'd bet at least 90% of us...have secrets they would never disclose in a forum like this about one screw up or another.
I think we need a Confession thread. Where correction is not allowed. Where worry and concern (and abject horror) are forbidden to be expressed. Where we can just let that other lost soul know....yep, I licked a S'more, too....you're not alone.
All sins can be forgiven. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Wow. People are rude. I have said since the beginning that I have no desire to be skinny. None. I want to be healthy. I'd much rather weigh 200 and be happy and healthy than obsess about weighing under 150. Thin is not my goal. Healthy and happy is all I want.

This is the LAST place anyone should be judging anyone else’s weight. I mean seriously, haven’t we had enough of that “out there???”

Super morbidly obese to low BMI, pretty much everyone here has had some dysfunction in their relationship with food and their body. It really sounds like you have a great relationship with both, now. Well done, @Creekimp13!! This is what we should all be striving for! 🤗🤗

Man, if I had a dollar for every critic who said this to me on these boards. It's a past time of a certain type of dieter....to send me hate mail and try to shame me for being outspoken.
"You're still overweight! You shouldn't be telling people what to do! How dare you not feel ashamed at that weight!"
Shakin my head over here.
If I wanted to be 140, I could be. Have been. Looked god-awful and felt like I was starving all the time.
If I wanted to be 160, I could be. Have been. I wasn't particularly hungry, got a reasonable number of calories, but thought I looked older.
I like a little more round to my angles. I like less sag, fewer wrinkles. Not real interested in cosmetic surgery. Picked the best option for me.
I like eating 1600 calories a day. I like having space in my diet for a couple pieces of fruit because I think phytonutrients are beneficial and important. I like how i feel eating a high Fiber diet. I like room to be a vegetarian some days. I like flexability. It's how I can face this as a lifelong change. It's how I can make peace with food forever....cause I know this plan is WORKABLE in pretty much all situations. I can eat on my plan during a holiday, a funeral, a birthday party....during a power outage, while recovering from an injury, during extreme emotional stress, on the road, and while dealing with my inlaws. LOL.
I typically weigh 165-170 pounds. I LOVE this weight. It is NOT "the best I could do because I couldn't get to a "healthy weight" ", it is an intentionally chosen set point. It's a choice. This is, I am 100% certain...the MOST healthy weight I can choose for myself.
That whole...Arnold Schwarzenegger's BMI was technically Obese when he won Mr. Universe figures in. BMI is flawed. It doesn't differentiate between light muscle frames and heavy muscle frames, bigger bones, smaller bones. Different ethnicities. Different body styles.
My feet, depending on the manufacturer are size 10 or 11. My shoulders are more broad than most men's my height. My butt, thighs and calves are overdeveloped because I rode huntseat and jumped horses for decades, even when I was quite heavy. My husband says they have a kinda superhero quality now. LOLOLOLOL
So here's the thing....If you feel inclined to send me a snarky note about how I shouldn't say anything....because I'm not American Media model skinny, you might have a problem.
As it happens, I have a good friend who models. He's 5' 10", weighs 157 pounds soaking wet, and they STILL wanted him to use coke for a week and fast...to look more sickly skinny for his last national ad campaign.
Our impression of body image in the media is grossly distorted and unhealthy.
And a lot of folks here....get a grossly distorted and unhealthy obsession with their eating habits, their BMI, the number on the scale, and how it defines them.
Please, please, please remember....health.
Physical health, strength, endurance, good labs, fewer medications.
Emotional health...loving yourself, enjoying your life, feeling challenged and happy.
Mental health...finding balance you can live with for a lifetime.
Love your strong healthy body. Love your good food choices that provide good nutrition to nurture that body. Love the flexability to make it work though the tough spots.
Avoid the fixations, the extremes, the inflexable rules, the disordered eating (and disordered not-eating)
You can trust yourself to get to where you need to be....without punishment.
Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself.

March 22nd here if my insurance approves me this time 😕 last time they changed their policy part way through the process and denied me.

Hi everyone, I've been here for a while but never posted before. But I'm just under 3 weeks away from my surgery. My nerves are going crazy. I don't know if it's because of not having my approval from insurance yet or about the actual surgery. I was denied back in December and it was so disheartening. But my Nut. and NN have helped me make sure all requirements are met this time since they were changed part way through so my fingers are crossed.
How do/did you guys get passed the jitters? I feel like literally all I do is worry about weightloss and meal planning to the point that I'm not sleeping...

Hi everyone, I've been here for a while but never posted before. But I'm just under 3 weeks away from my surgery. My nerves are going crazy. I don't know if it's because of not having my approval from insurance yet or about the actual surgery. I was denied back in December and it was so disheartening. But my Nut. and NN have helped me make sure all requirements are met this time since they were changed part way through so my fingers are crossed.
How do/did you guys get passed the jitters? I feel like literally all I do is worry about weightloss and meal planning to the point that I'm not sleeping...

Oh I completely understand about the 90 that’s a lot to spend if you don’t need to. Hopefully you have the answer soon. Stay on the doctor and insurance that’s all I can say. Praying for you! You got this surgery will be March 22!!!

"One of the most famous examples of the flaws in the Body Mass Index system is Arnold Schwarzenegger. When the former California Governor was in the prime of his bodybuilding career, he was 6'0” and weighed 235 pounds. This gave him a BMI of 31, putting him in the obese range."
BMI is flawed. It doesn't differentiate muscle from fat. Human anatomy is weirdly individual. Like most things in life... one-size-fits-all isn't always accurate.
You can be a fine boned person with a lot of extra chub...and still have a normal BMI. You can have low body fat and be running marathons...and have an overweight BMI. It's a flawed scale.< /span>
Why is this important to remember?
Guess what I'm saying here...is that no one knows your body like you do. No one knows at what point in your weight loss you feel mean and lean and healthy. The numbers are a good rough guideline, but leave room for individual anatomy.
Lot of different body types out there.
(I'm also not saying....ignore your BMI if it's 31 and you're NOT a body builder...lol) Ya'll know what I'm saying. I don't have to explain.

Yes fight them to the end! Until you get the approval!!!

I just got scheduled for my surgery March 25, 2021! I am so excited and so scared all at the same time! It is crazy how I feel. I keep looking at posts for inspiration and motivation to keep going. Reminding myself, wow that could be me in a few months! Anyone else feeling like this and scheduled for Gastric Bypass this month?