BigSue

I wait to drink before and after meals because my surgeon said so. Actually, my surgeon didn't say anything about waiting before meals, but I do anyway because I've heard that other surgeons advise that. It's not that it would necessarily make me sick, just that if my stomach is full (either from food or water) there's not room.

Congratulations! That's awesome!

I LOVE the BariatricPal Belgian Chocolate Caramel and French Vanilla Caramel calcium chews. They really taste like candy; I look forward to taking them and I consider them a treat. I've also tried the strawberry watermelon flavor, and they're ok but not as delicious as the chocolate and caramel ones. I take calcium 3 times per day: once as calcium citrate tablets (Citrical Petites) and two of the BariatricPal chews.

I'm 13 months out, and I can drink pretty much normally. For the first few months, I was only able to sip slowly, but it wasn't too long before I could drink easily. I've never really been one to "chug" water really fast, so my idea of "normal" might not be what you're used to, but I am definitely not limited to sipping. I do still wait 30 minutes before and after meals to drink anything. At first, it was hard to get used to that, but now it feels normal not to drink with meals, and in fact, when I have guests, I sometimes forget to offer beverages at meals!

I'm sorry your husband isn't being supportive. I live alone and I chose not to tell anyone about my surgery other than medical professionals, so a ride to and from the hospital was an issue for me as well. I just took a taxi to the hospital, but the hospital told me I wasn't allowed to take a taxi/Uber/Lyft home and I had to give them the name and contact info of the person picking me up. I contacted a local home health care agency and they picked me up. The fee wasn't much more than the taxi ride and included a 4-hour shift of home health care, which was nice because the person who picked me up helped me bring my stuff in the house and picked up my prescriptions for me.

I also used to put 250 even when I was over 300! I just renewed mine a couple of months ago and I was 100 pounds under what used to be the low lie.

I bought a seatbelt extender from Amazon so I wouldn't have to ask for one. I haven't been on an airplane since my surgery, but when I do, I'm looking forward to not having to bring my extender!

I find myself cooking a lot of Mexican-flavored cuisine. Things like shredded meat, salsa, and cauliflower rice are very bariatric-friendly!

@Sophie7713, Your food looks AMAZING -- both in terms of taste and photography. This is straight-up food porn! I'm a terrible photographer, so my food never looks as good as it tastes. ? @Dave In Houston, I am actually enjoying food MORE after surgery than I did before when I could (and did) eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted. I can hardly believe how much my tastes have changed. I used to hate most vegetables and now I love them. One of my favorite snacks now is tomato slices with salt and pepper. I would rather eat that than a bag of chips. I used to hate fish and now I like it! I keep discovering healthy foods that I used to hate and now taste good to me. I used to be practically addicted to pizza and now I have very little desire to eat it. I do still have a sweet tooth, but I've found some healthy-ish treats (chia pudding, sugar-free meringues, protein mug cakes, protein bars) that keep me satisfied without going off-plan. I truly enjoy going on Pinterest and finding new healthy recipes to try that taste amazing, and that I never would have eaten before surgery. It's a big adjustment, especially in the beginning, but it should get much easier once you're back to "regular" food.

No need to apologize -- we're here to support each other! I don't know if there are any support groups in the Bay Area, but this site is a great resource. Sorry to hear your family isn't being supportive, but unfortunately, it's going to be rough for a while as you get used to your new life. You're going to have to watch other people eat as you go through the liquid, pureed, and soft food stages. You're probably going to miss some of the foods you used to eat and maybe have feelings of regret. But you'll eventually be able to eat "normal" foods again and learn to love a healthier way of eating. Just remember why you're doing this -- it's an amazing chance to improve your health and quality of life. Once you start to see results, it will all be worth it and you'll probably wish you had done it sooner. Good luck!

I've like to join the ML10 group, except for the fact that it's on Facebook and therefore not anonymous. I chose not to tell anyone other than medical professionals about my surgery, so I don't want to join a WLS group with my real name. For me, it depends on what the homework is. The first therapist gave me a generic feelings journal that felt really pointless, and I suspect he gives the same thing to everyone. I wouldn't mind doing "homework" that felt like there was a purpose to it -- some kind of actionable advice.

I don't have a problem with therapy "homework" per se, but the first therapist gave me this generic feelings journal that he wanted me to fill out every day, and it felt kind of pointless and condescending. I suspect he gives this to every patient. I actually think it would be great to have a therapist give me some actionable advice to try between sessions, and it looks like that's what yours is doing!

Thank you so much for replying! I was especially interested in your thoughts because you have posted a lot about this subject. It's too bad not all bariatric centers provide this kind of resources. So, if I'm understanding what you're saying, it seems like you think I should try to find another therapist -- one who has experience treating WLS patients or at least disordered eating? I actually really liked the guy who did my pre-surgery psych eval and I've been thinking about going to him. It seems like it might be awkward, but I got the sense that he knew a lot about WLS and the issues relating to it. I had a session with my current therapist today and I wrote up a list of issues that I wanted to address, and I think that helped... But I don't want to keep wasting time and money with someone who is not going to be able to help me with what I need to work on.

There's a WLS YouTuber (My Level 10 Life) who swears by Better Help (she's actually paid to promote them, but she swears that she gets asked to promote a lot of things and only promotes things she really believes in), but I'm skeptical of it and I'm almost certain my insurance wouldn't cover any of that. I can try asking my surgery center for a recommendation. I didn't ask them because I wanted to get someone in-network for my insurance, but at this point, I think I'd rather pay out of pocket for something that actually helps. I have a high deductible that I haven't met yet, so I'm paying out of pocket right now, anyway. Maybe I could ask the therapist who did my pre-surgery eval for a recommendation. I've actually thought about going to him because I liked him and I could tell he knows a lot about WLS, but it seems weird (and maybe a conflict of interest) to see the person who did my eval. I agree about not liking homework! That's another thing that annoyed me about the first one -- he was big on homework, and it was all really generic, nothing that he came up with specifically to help me. I had told him that my biggest struggle was that I felt like my surgery and weight loss is taking over my life and I have no time or energy left for anything else, and then he comes up with some busy work for me to do.

Thank you so much for your helpful reply! I also had a psych eval for surgery approval and I actually really liked the therapist. I could tell he knew a lot about weight loss surgery. I think he said that he offers post-surgery counseling, but it seems like it would be awkward and maybe a conflict of interest. But I've been thinking about going to him if I give up on the current one. I realize that there will be a lot of talking about feelings and stuff with any therapist, but what's frustrating to me is that neither of these therapists seems to make any effort to relate any of my feelings to food/eating, even though I explicitly said these are the issues I want to address. But maybe if I can articulate this better to the therapist, she will understand what I'm looking for.

This got way longer than I expected, so let me start with the TL;DR: If you have gotten counseling that has helped with your WLS success, can you please give me some tips for how to find a good therapist? And what I should be discussing with that therapist? I'm looking at you, @Creekimp13 and @catwoman7 (since you've both mentioned the importance of therapy in your long-term success), but I would love to hear from anyone who has gotten this kind of counseling... I've seen so many people say that therapy is really important for long-term success with WLS. I'm almost a year out and I've been struggling lately, and I've had a hard time finding a good therapist. I searched my insurance company's website for therapists who treat eating disorders. I reached out to a practice that had a few therapists who had eating disorders listed as one of their specialties, and they sent a very curt reply saying that they don't have anyone on staff who treats eating disorders. I called another practice and explained that I'm a WLS patient looking for counseling on food and eating issues, and they assured me they could help, but the therapist they assigned to me knew nothing about WLS. I had a few sessions with him and it was useless. I had to keep explaining basics about WLS (like food restrictions, dumping syndrome, not eating and drinking at the same time, loose skin -- which he thought would go away on its own if I exercise enough and when I explained that the only way to get rid of it is plastic surgery, he suggested I ask my bariatric surgeon to do it at my next follow-up). He didn't seem to understand my issues at all. In hindsight, I probably should have walked out of the first session. When I started telling him my WLS story and mentioned that my highest weight was 341 pounds, he interrupted me: "Sue?" I stopped and said, "Yes?" He replied, with a big smile on his face, "Sue, you were FAT!" and then busted out laughing, like it was cool to make fun of how fat I used to be just because I'm not that big anymore. When I told him I wanted to get counseling to address my food and eating issues to make sure I don't gain the weight back, he replied, "You won't gain the weight back. If I had a $100 bill right now, I would bet $100 that you won't gain the weight back," and then we never discussed regain again in the next 3 sessions. I think he was under the impression that regain was an irrational fear and he did his job by reassuring me that it's not going to happen. Then I found another practice that has a whole paragraph on its web site about the support they offer for bariatric patients both before and after surgery. I called to make an appointment and said that I had bariatric surgery last year and I was interested in the post-surgery counseling they described on their web site. The receptionist told me she needed my surgeon's office notes from my most recent visit, and was oddly insistent that the notes come directly from the surgeon's office and not from me downloading them from my electronic chart and sending them. I had to sign release paperwork for the surgeon's office, and when the counseling practice got it, they called me and said they were confused because my surgeon's notes said I already had the surgery so there was no need for me to get a pre-surgery evaluation. I guess they thought I was asking for a psych eval for surgery approval and couldn't understand why I would need counseling after I already had the surgery. I cited the paragraph on their web site and they sent me to a seemingly random therapist (probably the first one with an opening) who had no experience with WLS patients. She's better than the last guy, but the sessions have been pretty generic -- basically, she asks me how my week has been, I talk about things that happen (usually relating to WLS issues), and she asks me how I feel about it or how I handled it. Doesn't feel like I'm getting anywhere -- just feels like a WLS patient Q&A. I told her this and she suggested I think about what exactly I want to discuss and tell her next week. I'll give that a try, but to be honest, I don't really know -- she's the therapist, so I was counting on her to provide that kind of guidance!

I usually wear tight leggings for my cardio workout and later change into loose-fitting joggers before I take a walk in my neighborhood. Yesterday, I was feeling lazy about changing my pants and I realized: I can probably wear leggings in public without anyone saying, "Ew, she should NOT be wearing that," or "Nobody needs to see THAT."* I might be able to pass for just another basic b****! * To be clear, I don't think anyone should say that no matter what someone's weight, but I've heard people say it and it always stopped me from wearing leggings in public.

Did your surgeon give you any guidance on this? Most surgeons encourage plenty of walking and a mile should be fine if you're up to it.

First of all... YOU LOST 90 POUNDS! That's amazing! Anybody would consider that a fantastic accomplishment, so celebrate that! Secondly, you don't show your starting weight or current weight on your stats, but if you started with a lower BMI -- say, around 40 -- you're not going to lose as quickly as someone with a really high BMI (I started with a BMI over 60!). And the closer you get to a normal BMI, the more your weight loss will slow down. Finally, there are a lot of factors that can affect your rate of weight loss, some of which are completely beyond your control, so just because you're not losing as quickly as you'd like doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong or need to change anything, or that you won't get there eventually. I initially felt like I was losing slowly because I was comparing myself to other people, but looking back, I'm amazed by how much weight I lost in less than a year. We're all in a hurry to lose that weight, but once you get to your goal, it doesn't really matter how long it took to get there. Plus, some people say that losing slowly results in less loose skin, so it could actually be a benefit.

Does she like tea? If so, you could do the same thing with trying a new tea every week. P.S. That is such a cool idea. I only have one niece and she's far from me so I rarely get to see her in person. She's just a baby now, but I'm going to keep this in mind for when she gets older because I would love to do something to stay connected with her.

I LOVE the BariatricPal Belgian Chocolate Caramel and French Vanilla Caramel. They taste like candy!

Your weight is basically meaningless for the first few weeks. You just went through a major surgery and your body is catching up with the changes! It is virtually impossible to gain actual body weight right after surgery (weight fluctuations of a few pounds are very normal and usually just related to water retention), so right now, you need to focus on healing and getting enough water and protein. You might even want to stay off the scale for a while so you don't stress out about it needlessly. A lot of people just weigh in once per week so they don't see those fluctuations. You're doing great -- just stick with your program and you'll keep losing.

I highly recommend Leslie Sansone videos on YouTube for cardio. There are tons of free videos available and they're great. I do these every day. There's something for everyone, from beginners to advanced, and the videos vary in length from about 10 minutes to 50 minutes (I often do two or three shorter ones back-to-back just to mix it up). I use resistance bands for strength training. You can get a decent set for about $50 and there are free videos on YouTube for that, too.

Looks like you're doing great! It's a stall -- happens to almost everyone, often more than once along the way. It's just your body catching up with the changes. If you stick with your program, you will keep losing weight. There's a lot of superstition around stalls and how to break them (different people will tell you to increase calories or carbs or protein or exercise, and others will tell you to decrease calories or carbs or protein or exercise, or do a pouch reset diet, etc., etc.) but the truth is that all you can do is stick with your program and wait it out. That's why everybody has a different trick to break the stall -- it would have happened no matter what they did, so if they changed something, they think that was what broke the stall. Just be patient and keep up the good work.

Rao’s is the best but if you want something cheaper, Newman’s Own marinara is very good and has no added sugar.