BrighterSide

I’m lucky, I mostly work from home so haven’t had to deal so much. Or, with the few I had told and have spoken to since, they gathered it was a done deal, good choice and (ultimately) none of their motherforking business...in a nice way [emoji846] Most have just been fascinated by what it was all about in practice and throw in the metabolic, hunger hormone, and microbiome headlines that highlight there’s more to this than calories in and out and this particular path out of the weight gain/regain jungle was mine.

Thank you for this! That helps so much. Of course anecdotal evidence is no replacement for research, but with most of the ‘normal’ weight and calorie intake recommendations based on 20 year old made up people it’s great to hear about your experience. 500 would have felt insanely low as a level to get out of bed and function on let alone exercise on, but if I swapped my fortified milk for more lean meat protein I’d be there right now. Seen some of your story elsewhere so I know you had lots of back and forth with nut, but essentially no obvious Ill effects. Crazy isn’t it. Also blows my mind a bit the concept of eating up to maintenance. One of the blessings of this process is the very small meal size. I have food phobias that prevent me from swallowing food if I ever feel under pressure to do so. Resulted from dinner ladies at school repeatedly forcing forkfuls of food down my throat until I thew up when I was 5. Specific foods that was done with are out, plus that anxiety response that closes my throat and makes me nauseous. That bedded in over the years as my resulting picky eating lead to being made to sit through ll dinner services until I’d eaten cold food on my plate, or the smallest kids were done. Missed break times, so double whammy with lost exercise and more negative food association. Getting packed lunch as a result of my Mum forcing a school policy change was the best day of my life, but by then the damage was done and I carried on seeking out ‘easy’ and ‘comforting’ food and avoiding social situations that might involve pressure to eat and trigger that anxiety. The hugely limited meal sizes have really started to dent that for the first time in my life. My diet had already become vastly broader or I wouldn’t have been able to attempt this, but knowing I only have to get 8-10 mouthfuls of something new down means I’m going food places I haven’t before. There have been some fails with a rush to the bathroom, but not many. That, in a hugely roundabout way, is why I fear upping calories for maintenance. It may be really tough to get quantities of naturally very low calorie healthy but ‘difficult’ food in. Whoah - war and peace again, sorry!

[emoji1303][emoji846]

Good advice thank you. I’ve had no steer on calories, just on the usual 60-70g protein, 2+ litres fluid, not excessive fat, sensible carb limit. That was my Nut. Surgeon just said day before discharge “Eat what you used to just less” Nut was there and eyes nearly rolled out of her head. In absence of guide gravitated to pre-surgery levels which gelled with most of what I researched and read for initial post surgery period. Then as I limited carbs more diligently it crept down a little further. Will take this up with her again next month when I see her though.

Thanks Fluffy. Honestly hadn’t forgotten I the whole aim of this game is to melt the fat belt :-). The info on the ‘older post meno’ ladies is good to have seeing as I now apparently am one. Recently got told ovaries gave up ghost age about 40...ahh well (not as sanguine about that as I sound, but getting there). Do struggle somewhat with veggies and grains. Can’t eat beans, nuts and pulses and not getting past protein to much more than a couple of bites of broccoli, but earlyish days. Get fibre with heavily seeded crackers, but costs carbs. Also have that reliance on fortified milk for a shot of protein which again costs carbs hence the 45-65 level. But less if nett of fibre. Never worked out what nett meant. Having said all that I really value all these fab insights. Flying very solo here as 60 miles from nearest support group and have a house full of temptation thx to fella and two growing girls :-)

That’s really good to hear. Am very concerned about jumping out of metabolic frying pan and into a fire. Knowing that nutrition is still so very far from an exact science and same for the collective mechanisms that influence appetite and weight gain, this kind of feedback is fab to have :-)

Thanks for this Mrs. Glad it’s not just me and willing to bide time, but that “How on earth am I not losing more?” was the other part of this. My poor tracking app is very concerned about me halving the calorie estimate it gave me for 1kg per week loss, and still not quite making 1kg per week. I’m honestly not fretting about that rate from a reaching goal point of view as 2lbs per week will get me there. I’m also not suffering badly to keep it that way, I’m more baffled by the apparent absence of working laws of physics when I look back at food intake and activity at my worst. Also a little in awe of this body of mine. When that zombie apocalypse hits, with my new found agility, it’ll be the “Never been able to put on weight no matter what I eat” and perpetual gym bunnies with their calorie hungry metabolisms that will go first [emoji16]

Hi all, Been good and checked for answers for a while, but not found anything very decisive. I’m worried about training my body to subsist on 600-750 calories per day. Worried it will never maintain without gain on anything resembling what the nutritionist suggested would be likely - 1600 odd (though maintenance on some calculators says 2,400 - ho ho) I’m 218, down from 256 Jan 21st sleeve and 263 highest in December. Slowed to lose about 2lbs per week now, which is fine, but could be better. Also 5’4”, mid 40s and post menopause with PCOS. For my build (7” wrists that make my baby sized hands look freakish) aiming point is 152 for just out of top end normal. Reckoning I’ll be 60% there in July. I don’t go usually go hungry and usually hit my Protein and liquid targets while keeping my carbs between 45 and 65 (fortified milk to bump Protein up keeps that over 50 as can’t do whey based protein), but rarely hit 700 calories. Do I need to be concerned getting that little in? Will I reset metabolism to make me gain if I eat 1,000 calories?

A lot depends on where you started from Miguel, higher the weight the more folk are expected to lose. It’s about % loss rather than pure pounds. E.g. at 6 weeks I had lost 25% of my excess weight (weight over ‘normal’ BMI for my build). Here’s a link to a look at https://www.obesitycoverage.com/weight-loss-surgeries/gastric-sleeve/gastric-sleeves-how-much-weight-will-i-lose with a calculator that gives you a view of how people do on average versus the highest losing portion of people and the lower losing portions. Also the gentlemen tend to lose more rapidly because of more muscle mass and other gender related metabolism effects. Also depends on age, especially, for women. Post menopause weight is LOTS tougher to shift. That’s ignoring how well folk are sticking to nutrition guidance, what the guidance is (varies so much more than I thought it would - I was only fluids for a week before surgery and skipped clear fluids to go to full fluids 2 days after). Then there’s exercise. Some folk are at gym 5 days per week, some, like me, walk 30-45mins 3 times a week, some can’t do or choose not to do any). Plus loads of other factors...so, in loads too many words, not simple to answer and always best to not compare if you can resist it, but talk to nutritionist or doc if really concerned. [emoji3526]

At week 8 I was down 30lbs from 256 sleeve weight and 37lbs from highest weight.

Just a little thing to try and bolster folk fretting about all the less than ideal things (and the hard to compete with success stories) they read here, especially those who haven’t spent time on lots of similar forums. Research online has been a chunky part of my day job, so although I’m not immune to the negative bias and hype I can pause and process that out. If you only have time to dip your toes in, use your own past experience as benchmark. How often do you post when all is just jogging along nicely and you don’t need advice or support? If you have more time, try ignoring the 4 worst experiences and the 2 best ones in every 10 posts and use a search engine to look for medical advice and evidence for things that mess with your head. Context is king. Everyone starts at a different weight and with a different set of head, body and life complications. So impressed by those who spare time to support all the concerned folk here and share the well deserved celebrations, but for those hovering and worried, this isn’t, in sum total, a real slice of life [emoji4]

This distance out with pus as opposed to lymph (the completely clear stuff) I would go to my doctor, especially if the area round the incision feels warmer than surrounding skin and/or you have a temperature of 38 degrees or more. Regardless make sure you’re drinking you recommended amount or as close as poss. Can’t but help no matter what and like the lovely lady said there’s still lots of healing going on.

For me it’s a feeling like a tightness in my chest just under my bra strap crossed with that feeling when you have a burp trapped. That burp feeling tips over into thinking I might follow with up by being sick if I don’t stop. Eating really slowly helps. Taking a pause to survey how you feel. Alternatively, when you are just getting liquids, then soft food and then similar stuff stuff later (sliders) instead of drier more solid food you maybe won’t feel as much restriction because it passes through and compacts more gently. Hope that helps!

Hi and welcome! 22 pounds is fantastic! I hit that later than you. I thought I was immunish to the stall ennui cos I’ve read so many studies, posts, and replies about it, but got stuck then gained in weeks 7 and 8. I religiously track intake so I knew I’d introduced carbier at about the same time work ramped up, so more desk time, less sleep, more tension, more carbs, on top of another step in healing. But (and this cheered me right up) I still lost inches. Probably a miracle my losing wasn’t more erratic. Not really a stall as it resolved in week 9 (a few say it doesn’t qualify unless the scale sticks for 3 weeks), but my six cents is radical honesty and tracking of stuff eaten/drunk especially fluids, taking supplements sleeping the 8 hours of at all possible, measuring inch loss, and not weighing more than once a week at the same time of day (I’m human, so I jump on all the time, but don’t write it down or take it to heart in between times.

I only do protein water on the rarest occasion cos that smell of whey just finishes me. My alternative is 1% Milk with 10% skim milk powder added. That isn’t a fave due to carbs from the lactose in the milk, but right now you need protein to heal, calcium, and vitamin D all of which come with the milk (not enough, but more than nothing). FWIW I still have a latte daily with a decaf expresso shot and and this fortified milk. Whaps a third of my protein in in an indulgent feeling and comforting way, then avoid carbs in meals to balance.

2nd / 3rded / 4thed (I lost count [emoji846]). Only regret is not doing this before menopause to be able to take that little bit easier advantage while hormones and collagen were in my corner :-)

Yes. I am a pessimistic optimist. I prepare for the worst, but am delighted when things go well. This is going well. I mulled over every possible downside and researched the prep, surgery and aftermath to the nth degree before I went for it. I wanted to make a good decision, and it was. I am not losing as fast as some and I’m losing faster than others. I’m not at the gym 5 times a week, but I no longer live on the couch. I don’t avoid many foods, but I no longer eat candy, crisps, fries, pasta, bread, ice cream and rafts of other things that were so ‘expensive’ and addictive. I don’t have a personal target of ‘normal’ BMI as I fit every criteria for big boned and I was a US size 8 clothes at 28 pounds over that top ‘normal’ weight and with PCOS and post menopausal fun I’m not putting that pressure on myself, but I stay within 650-800 cals almost without exception and rarely breach 50g carbs. It’s good, it’s working, I’m making a change, arthritis pain is all but gone already, psoriasis is almost gone too, my shoes are more comfortable, I sweat and get less red and if absolutely nothing else this will be 2+ years of going in a direction other than up from where I was, but (pessimistically optimistically speaking) I’m trying to do one hell of a lot more [emoji846]

I had sleeve and I counted myself as someone with no complications, but like most I struggled to get any more than a tiny sip down initially. That’s just because anything hitting a stomach that has been so severely messed about with is going to get a reaction. For me the reaction was a tightening (think a stomach wincing) and I had to take a pause before another sip. Over first ten days went to shorter and shorter pauses between sips, to two or three sips in a row, to mouthfuls, to two to three mouthfuls in a row. Everyone repeats ‘sip, sip, sip’ as a mantra, so worried that meant I had a baggy sleeve, but surgeon and dietician said no, just less sore and swollen stomach tolerating more. If you didn’t mean that and meant throat problems then sorry for taking you off at a tangent! [emoji846]

Been food arranging again [emoji846] Deli beef, grilled chorizo (almost crispy and far less fat), smoked salmon and pickled onion with the veg, plus a little lightest of light mayo

Thank you mrs. I am tipping over into angry now as I see the skew immediately in how my concerns are being treated...why expend resources on fixing a body now destined to crumble until I die? Conversely, professionally, I could be at the top of my game and may choose to be when I have gone further in my journey. Knowing root causes hugely helps, but could have done without two lots of self image reinvention running in parallel.

Feeling pretty weepy today. Finally forced PCP to do some more definitive tests for menopause having had missed and disappeared periods put down since late 30’s to weight and stress. Conclusion is yes I’m in menopause and likely have been since age 40. Explains so much. Very sad. Stopped my career just about dead as developed flop sweats when presenting, skin crumbled, hair became straw, weight gain ramped, anxiety and depression deepened, sleep was pretty constantly broken and everyone dismissed symptoms as cause. Beginning to mourn the lost opportunities. Things turned down as I lost all confidence, felt it was impossible to solve and was all my fault.[emoji22] Edit: Had my cry and hug from OH. I am 100% better place to deal now having had surgery and made lifestyle changes. I wish I had done it 10 years ago, but probably wouldn’t’ have had qualifying BMI and would probably have spent money I didn’t have on a band because sleeve wasn’t about so much and bypass would have felt like a step too far. Am seeing brightness in the fact that I might get to know a baseline ‘me’ for the first time in many years and have a referral to a top specialist to explore ways to safeguard cardio and other health moving forward.

Had a cheeky win eating out that I wanted to share. Went to Frankie and Benny's with my fella. Plan of attack when eating out so far has been getting as clean a high protein starter/salad as I can find and he gets a main we both like the look of. Then get it all to come at once with a spare plate and I get bits and bobs from his plate and vice versa. Works out really well ?. This time it was their avocado, chicken and bacon salad with dressing on the side. The chicken was kind of beyond chargrilled to dry, but I was starving and knew I didn't need many edible bits to make me full. So with lean bacon, chicken, avocado to lubricate, bits of salad, and one cheeky sweet potato fry, and taste of burger off his plate, I filled myself up nicely. Waitress came and cleared and didn't, thankfully, comment on the untouched look of my salad bowl. Next thing we know she comes back and says "I took that salad off your bill. That chicken was overdone. You should have told me!". Funny thing is I'm really good at calling out mistakes compared to the average Brit, but if I had asked her to replace earlier a) I would have got horrifically hangry and b) Would have still looked like I hated it when I was done. I hadn't got the heart to tell her the truth so I just thanked her hugely and left a really big tip! TIP for folk just starting going out: Don't refuse a drink, just accept a glass of water or get a bottle for the table. My poor waitress was so worried about me not having a drink she didn't leave us in peace for more than 2 minutes!

Thanks all - Better now, but made the silly mistake of weighing myself the day after I felt human again - 3 pounds off in 5 days. 2 of which I had regained by the Monday weigh in ? Such a relief to realise it wasn't just me being lazy and out of shape as I initially thought when I was sickening for it.

21st Jan sleeve here and 30 lost. Weighed in mid week last week and had a 1 pound loss, but gained a pound and a bit back by my normal Monday weigh in, so a weekly gain. Other half was gobsmacked given I’ve never been within 600 cals of what diet app says should result in 2 pounds per week for my metabolism. But, have been back to work for 5 weeks with struggle to stay as active, had a fortnight of introducing new foods and been ill for 3 days last week with protein down, exercise down and carbs up. My app shows trends up for macros over last 28 days which will come in handy later. Not fretting right now as last 28 included immediate post surgery. Even with those explanations I worry about how slow it is, but it’s still 38 down from December highest, lighter than I’ve been for 4 years, psoriasis hugely improved, more energy, on track for 50% EWL in six months, steady enough to maybe give loose skin some chance of catching up and I have totally changed how and what I eat. I think, for me, it’s maybe psychologically easier because I never lost this big before, so I never had the gut wrench of stall then big regain. Still takes effort to let logic beat fear right now. I cannot stay stalled if I’m not snacking and I’m eating vastly smaller quantities of better food. I’m likely readjusting cos I’ve gone from nutso all fluid and purées to something more closely resembling a forever food plan and my body is saying ‘Yey! 70 extra calories. Store that in case this mad b***h tries that again’. Not unless someone reinvented the laws of physics. In short, I feel for you. So much easier to post your wins rather than your glitches and hope you find a head and scale solution soon.

Not imagining it being very different then. Thanks folk. I'm less fretful that I would otherwise be as I just had quite a chunky panel of bloods done by my PCP specifically to look at potential hormone probs. @averysmum knows the story there :-). Tis with a view to referal to gynae/menopause specialist. Will at least help me rule out one set of potential issues including anaemia. Thereafter will work out what to do for the best.