MMME

I guess it depends on how much you have to lose. I had a bank in 2009 and lost 33 kg (72 lbs). However by 2018 I had gained back nearly 40 kg. I went straight to bypass and couldn't be happier with my choice. The band was uncomfortable and unsuccessful. As a matter of fact, of the 4 other people I know who have had bariatric surgery there isn't one who has been successful with the band.

Just because you slipped up once doesn't mean that you'll go back to your old habits. You need to trust yourself that you can overcome your addictions and live a healthy life. Besides, your new stomach not rejecting something today doesn't mean it won't tomorrow. I had a couple of spoons of ice cream with chocolate and was fine the first time. Next time I had such horrible dumping I swore I would never again eat anything chocolate.

I remember on the morning of my surgery saying to my partner "Do you think I can just lose the weight and keep it off on my own and not do the surgery?" That was obviously nerves talking, but his answer made perfect sense. He said, "If you could, you would have by now".
Bariatric surgery is NOT a failure. It's still hard work after surgery to lose and maintain for the rest of your life. It's about using a tool to make the best choices for your health. You'll still have to eat properly and exercise, but WLS is the tool that will help you to learn how to change not only your weight, but your mindset.
Since my bypass 11 months ago I have become intolerant of a good few foods - not a bad thing when they include sugary foods, fatty foods and absolutely intolerant of anything chocolate. It's not easy but it's your health you need to consider.

FWIW - 5'3", 55 years old at time of surgery. 3rd surgi-versary in a few days (8/23). Highest weight- roughly 300+. Current weight - about 162. Lowest 152 after contracting e coli.
I told only my immediate family (two teen daughters and husband.) I did not tell my mother or my sister (mom died without knowing and sister still doesn't know).
I am NATIONALLY RANKED as a fencer now in my age group in two weapons (foil and saber). I can deadlift 240 and back squat the same.
Getting your head in the right place is the biggest issues. Learning to deal with emotions without food is huge for most of us. Finding an exercise you love is important. Tell who you choose, or not. But I can tell you that this made a mammoth difference in my life.
Best wishes to you.

So I agree, we all go through this to one extent or another. The shame and stigma attached to WLS and obesity is really so sad. It's diagnosed by the AMA as a disease. That means doctors are allowed to treat us for this disease and insurance has to cover it, if it's listed as a covered feature of their plans.
Obesity like many diseases is multi-factoral. Do we have some amount of culpability? Absolutely. But at the core, there is some element of broken-ness within that then takes our body out of homeostasis and hormonally sets us up for heartache down the road. Most of us are champion losers. But most of us are hideous maintainers. Sure there is ricidivism (reverting to old ways and patterns with eating/food), but our body also has a desire to take us back up and level us off at our last HIGHEST weight level. Yikes! Hello regain? Yes.
WLS helps break this cycle. It is a metabolic reset. It is actually (or can be) more of a weight maintenance tool than it is a weight loss tool. But like with any tool, it is up to us to use the tool correctly. Don't use a screw driver to hammer in a nail. And just like with any disease, take heart disease...do you blame the patient for needing a heart bypass or stint if lifestyle changes and medicine doesn't work to reverse their CHD? No...we don't. Then it's unfair for MO people to be blamed for needing a surgical intervention to help normalize a substantially broken metabolism.
This is what finally gave me peace about my surgery. I also have PCOS since I was 13-14y. My highest weight was 325lbs. My recent high was 287lbs. I weigh 134lbs this morning. I'm 56y. I'm not any great shakes. But I am determined and focused and have chosen to put my love/adoration of food to the side in favor of kicking ass and taking names in the healthy living department. I just "ran" 65minutes straight this morning. When I first started I was chair/bed bound and couldn't stand or walk for more than 5 minutes.
You can do this. But you do have to want to change and you have to apply yourself. My RD said that PCOS makes it harder and wl slower for patients. It's partly why I did the RNY over the VSG.

Well, exactly 9 months from my bypass and today I not only reached my goal but surpassed it. My surgeon said I'd be 70 kg but I said 69 (just to be stubborn and do better than he wanted). Today I was 68.8 when I stepped on the scale.

I remember on the morning of my surgery saying to my partner "Do you think I can just lose the weight and keep it off on my own and not do the surgery?" That was obviously nerves talking, but his answer made perfect sense. He said, "If you could, you would have by now".
Bariatric surgery is NOT a failure. It's still hard work after surgery to lose and maintain for the rest of your life. It's about using a tool to make the best choices for your health. You'll still have to eat properly and exercise, but WLS is the tool that will help you to learn how to change not only your weight, but your mindset.
Since my bypass 11 months ago I have become intolerant of a good few foods - not a bad thing when they include sugary foods, fatty foods and absolutely intolerant of anything chocolate. It's not easy but it's your health you need to consider.

I remember on the morning of my surgery saying to my partner "Do you think I can just lose the weight and keep it off on my own and not do the surgery?" That was obviously nerves talking, but his answer made perfect sense. He said, "If you could, you would have by now".
Bariatric surgery is NOT a failure. It's still hard work after surgery to lose and maintain for the rest of your life. It's about using a tool to make the best choices for your health. You'll still have to eat properly and exercise, but WLS is the tool that will help you to learn how to change not only your weight, but your mindset.
Since my bypass 11 months ago I have become intolerant of a good few foods - not a bad thing when they include sugary foods, fatty foods and absolutely intolerant of anything chocolate. It's not easy but it's your health you need to consider.

With greatest respect, this thread is meant for people with LAP Bands. We have had too many instances of people coming here and criticizing the procedure. I wish you well on your journey, but we are the ones living with the band. We are here for support, not criticism.

I think we are all a lot more self critical then anyone else would be. No one is perfect when naked, not even models. So any reasonable man is not going to expect perfection once you're undressed.
I know it is cliche, but self confidence goes a long way. If you are comfortable, and feel sexy and desirable, you will absolutely project that.

Just to add to the above:
Metamucil or Benefibre are great

Just to add to the above:
Metamucil or Benefibre are great

Just because you slipped up once doesn't mean that you'll go back to your old habits. You need to trust yourself that you can overcome your addictions and live a healthy life. Besides, your new stomach not rejecting something today doesn't mean it won't tomorrow. I had a couple of spoons of ice cream with chocolate and was fine the first time. Next time I had such horrible dumping I swore I would never again eat anything chocolate.

Well, exactly 9 months from my bypass and today I not only reached my goal but surpassed it. My surgeon said I'd be 70 kg but I said 69 (just to be stubborn and do better than he wanted). Today I was 68.8 when I stepped on the scale.

Honestly, I didn’t tell my kids. Still haven’t. I just felt like putting my issues on them wasn’t appropriate at the time. I do model a new healthy lifestyle and they are participants, however I felt like my obesity had a lot more emotional baggage then they needed to be aware of. Each situation is different and specific to the person and the child

people say that VSG is "less invasive", but removing 80% of your stomach seems pretty "invasive" to me. ...

Hi, this post breaks my heart. I grew up in the 80’s and I was a bit of a wild child to say the least. Had lots of fun and good times. My son is your age. (I have 2, and 2 stepsons) There is a definite distinction to making love and sex. A man that truly loves you doesn’t care about weight, skin, makeup or anything but you and your health so you are there for with him forever. Having sex is just going through the motions with someone who could or could not care less about you. Making love is special between you and your loved one and you can feel the love. You really cannot compare the two. This is totally separate from dating.
Now to the dating part. A man is going to treat you how you make him treat you. You need to realize your self worth, how you deserve to be treated with respect, caring, thought-fullness, honor, kindness and want to take care of you. If you see a man and he isn’t kind to his mother, family, people you see him interact with, he isn’t going to be kind or respect you. Does he open the door for you? For someone walking in? No... then don’t even give him the time of day. Does he have children? Does he see and take care of his kids? Does he complain about child support? If he not, he isn’t going to try and take care of you.
Now to the most important would be you. Stop and put your self first, show confidence, take the time to do the hair, makeup, clothes, put some jewelry on and do it for you! It will make you feel better! I would definitely see a counselor and see why you don’t feel worthy of love. Women and men of all ages, shapes and sizes find love everyday. However, if you don’t see the worth in yourself how is someone else? You need to carry with you your demand for respect and worthiness. Sometimes we do things like put a wall up to keep people away. This seems like very much what you may be doing and feeling so low about yourself that you took anything to be accepted. A counselor would certainly be able to help you and remember this and your weight could all be long gone if you work on it. I would also look into your insurance, call them most it seems will remove some of your excess skin if it is causing rashes etc. So if it happens, you may be able to get it taken care of and not need to worry about it so much. Please feel free to reach out to me privately, you cannot ask me anything I would be embarrassed about. I would love nothing more than to see your success story here and having a happy family. Be confident and demand respect and it will fall into place. Good luck to you.

Alvinchicago joined on the 28 May, posted on 28 May and hasn't been back since. A one post wonder or perhaps a troll or flame baiter.
Regardless, there will be be people who regret their surgery for various reasons...some perhaps related to the type of WLS procedure, others related to complications or others related to their lack of ability to change their behaviours.
That said in this age of the internet; even if your surgeon or program' or surgery overseas where there isn't a pre or post op procedure doesn't provide such programs; there is absolutely no reason anyone should be unprepared as to what happens pre-op, during the surgery or post-op, the information is out there, many doctors show their programs online, there are online forums, there are Facebook groups, there are local support groups, the list goes on.
Don't rely on someone else to spoon feed you the information you need to know, be accountable to yourself, be proactive, take responsibility.

You knew all of the ups and downs before going in to surgery. Yes, it's tough. Yes there are risks. But, you are given all of this information going into it.
Actually, for some of us it's the only way we can lose weight. Even though I spent 3 months in hospital with a leak in my sleeve and now after RNY a possible stricture or ulcer, I am glad I did it. But, I did my research and I weighed up the risks and for me at 368 pounds... I knew I wasn't going to live much longer and my daughter needs me so much more than I need food.

The first few months after surgery are hard. Do you want to live to see your kids get married? Have grandchildren? PLay with grandchildren? Then buck up, buttercup. Put on your big girl panties and go see a therapist to talk about your food issues. You clearly have them.
I'm almost 3 years out and 150 pounds down. (I've stopped updating my ticker - it's a pain in the a$$.) I fence at a national level and am ranked 23rd among women age 50-59 in the United States. I started fencing after I lost the weight.
I understand the need to vent in a safe place, but you need to get your head in the right place. Because if your head isn't in the right place, nothing is going to work. This is only a tool. Not a magic bullet.

First, If your story is real, and you are not a troll,
please get help. You are dealing with some deep seated mental health issues that need professional help.
Second, if you are a troll,
please get help. You are dealing with some deep seated mental health issues that need professional help.
Either way I wish you healing and peace.

So...
A little back information is required for this story. I’m a hairdresser (36 yrs) but first I’m a wife and mom , a great friend and up until just a few months ago a caregiver for my dad (he passed just recently) I have always been a giving person ( total pushover) NEVER put myself first and have had tremendous stress trying to get my child with autism the help he needs .. all this I ATE over, and ate and ate.. it was ma thang. I was always running around taking care of all and losing track of me along the way.. this past February 4th I had gastric by pass and I am changing so much I can’t believe it.. my self esteem is great and I am becoming the woman I have dreamed about becoming for DECADES.. this to the displeasure of a few folks who I have been there for even at the sacrifice of my own health and well being..well, their pushing back, disgruntled and perplexed as to why I will no longer cater to them and I’ve had some heated debates and tears from those who were used to having me at their beck and call.. the amazing thing is I have no guilt in putting myself first but the peanut gallery has a LOT to say about it... just this week I have been asked " Who is this new woman” it will require such changes to these friendships that it might mean walking away and choosing my self for a change.. I’m really excited and I can’t believe the freedom that comes with releasing that guilt that made me be so self destructive.. I’m not the woman I was months ago... and I’m darn glad!!!

It sounds like he was doing something really sweet buying you a dress and you were a total brat about it. Both in that you were too good for a Walmart dress and then you somehow blame him for not finding one to your liking: "If he would of let me do it myself I may have been able to go to my boys graduation" or that he expected you to dress up to go to a graduation ceremony? Have you been to a graduation before? Of course he expected you to dress up. Vent all you want but in my opinion he didn't do a damn thing wrong.

I'm 56 and had bypass 4.5 months ago at age 55. I've lost 61 lbs as of today and feel great. I'm now off all my medications (blood pressure, cholesterol and arrhythmia meds) and a able to do so much more than I ever could. I had a band for 9 years and did well with it for about the first 6 years or so, but had a very bad run and turned to food and gained back all I lost and more.
My sister had her bypass at age 68 (5 years ago) and she's feeling fantastic.

I didn't realise when I lost weight that ________
I would feel confident about how I look That I could easily walk/run a 4km charity walk That I would be so cold all the time!!! It's coming into winter here in Australia and I am absolutely frozen That people would be so interested in my weight. People at my work who I barely know comment all the time (it's annoying) How little interest I would have in eating the cakes I bake (I have a small side business baking cakes to sell) How good it feels to wear a size M rather than 2X or 3X. How sexy my fiance now finds me. He's always loved me no matter what size I was, but now he can barely keep his hands off me (not that I'm complaining 😄)