sleevedshereen

Yeah I agree with a couple women. Scrolling through this thread I was taken back a bit by your tone and "positivity" you are spreading so I had to comment. You asking "have you been to the gym today?" Or telling people to be productive...that tone isn't a positive one in the way you ask. It's abrasive and is meant in a hurtful way. Let's be honest here.
Also, it seems that you agressively respond to anyone who has a differing opinion than yours or calls you out on your tone or responses.
You putting people down is not cool. The people that commented who found you to also be aggressive also had several people who liked their posts which means they agree too.
I'm just a little confused and taken back by the arrogance and aggression in your comments to people.
As I'm wrapping this comment up, I'm thinking about how you are going to spread positivity in your comment back.
I'll answer your positive questions anyways...
-No, I did not go to the gym today.
-I did do something productive today. I productively ate a taco that was effing delicious and I'm gonna walk my ass around a little later.

stay golden.

Yeah I agree with a couple women. Scrolling through this thread I was taken back a bit by your tone and "positivity" you are spreading so I had to comment. You asking "have you been to the gym today?" Or telling people to be productive...that tone isn't a positive one in the way you ask. It's abrasive and is meant in a hurtful way. Let's be honest here.
Also, it seems that you agressively respond to anyone who has a differing opinion than yours or calls you out on your tone or responses.
You putting people down is not cool. The people that commented who found you to also be aggressive also had several people who liked their posts which means they agree too.
I'm just a little confused and taken back by the arrogance and aggression in your comments to people.
As I'm wrapping this comment up, I'm thinking about how you are going to spread positivity in your comment back.
I'll answer your positive questions anyways...
-No, I did not go to the gym today.
-I did do something productive today. I productively ate a taco that was effing delicious and I'm gonna walk my ass around a little later.

stay golden.

Yeah I agree with a couple women. Scrolling through this thread I was taken back a bit by your tone and "positivity" you are spreading so I had to comment. You asking "have you been to the gym today?" Or telling people to be productive...that tone isn't a positive one in the way you ask. It's abrasive and is meant in a hurtful way. Let's be honest here.
Also, it seems that you agressively respond to anyone who has a differing opinion than yours or calls you out on your tone or responses.
You putting people down is not cool. The people that commented who found you to also be aggressive also had several people who liked their posts which means they agree too.
I'm just a little confused and taken back by the arrogance and aggression in your comments to people.
As I'm wrapping this comment up, I'm thinking about how you are going to spread positivity in your comment back.
I'll answer your positive questions anyways...
-No, I did not go to the gym today.
-I did do something productive today. I productively ate a taco that was effing delicious and I'm gonna walk my ass around a little later.

stay golden.

Yeah I agree with a couple women. Scrolling through this thread I was taken back a bit by your tone and "positivity" you are spreading so I had to comment. You asking "have you been to the gym today?" Or telling people to be productive...that tone isn't a positive one in the way you ask. It's abrasive and is meant in a hurtful way. Let's be honest here.
Also, it seems that you agressively respond to anyone who has a differing opinion than yours or calls you out on your tone or responses.
You putting people down is not cool. The people that commented who found you to also be aggressive also had several people who liked their posts which means they agree too.
I'm just a little confused and taken back by the arrogance and aggression in your comments to people.
As I'm wrapping this comment up, I'm thinking about how you are going to spread positivity in your comment back.
I'll answer your positive questions anyways...
-No, I did not go to the gym today.
-I did do something productive today. I productively ate a taco that was effing delicious and I'm gonna walk my ass around a little later.

stay golden.

Yeah I agree with a couple women. Scrolling through this thread I was taken back a bit by your tone and "positivity" you are spreading so I had to comment. You asking "have you been to the gym today?" Or telling people to be productive...that tone isn't a positive one in the way you ask. It's abrasive and is meant in a hurtful way. Let's be honest here.
Also, it seems that you agressively respond to anyone who has a differing opinion than yours or calls you out on your tone or responses.
You putting people down is not cool. The people that commented who found you to also be aggressive also had several people who liked their posts which means they agree too.
I'm just a little confused and taken back by the arrogance and aggression in your comments to people.
As I'm wrapping this comment up, I'm thinking about how you are going to spread positivity in your comment back.
I'll answer your positive questions anyways...
-No, I did not go to the gym today.
-I did do something productive today. I productively ate a taco that was effing delicious and I'm gonna walk my ass around a little later.

stay golden.

So you only reply to posts that call you names and not ones that ask you legit questions nicely?

It does come across as passive aggressive to me too so it’s not just her. But I will be the first to admit you can’t get tone of voice in a message.

Perhaps if you are truly trying to spread positivity I might suggest not asking about the gym per se? Some of us exercise without one. Some of us can’t exercise either yet or at all. Asking if someone has been productive too isn’t exactly positive always. Perhaps asking them what is going well for them or what they enjoyed or appreciated? When my kids were little we called these “woo-hoo’s” Oprah talks about her gratitude journal.

I think that’s a more positive approach perhaps [emoji6]

Just because you say your comments are “spreading positivity” doesn’t make it true. You honestly think that saying “did you go the the gym today or have you been on here searching through post all day” is spreading positivity? The original post, was that also somehow a positive?

No I am not new but I don’t follow your posts like some groupie. I am sure glad I don’t considering your response to the person who referenced an old comment of yours. You were definitely spreading the positivity in those comments (insert eye roll).

I was going to agree with you but you seem to be just as rude as some others in this forum. Why are you asking someone if they have been to the gym today? Are you trying to make her feel bad for not going to the gym? That’s pretty low. We are all here for a reason. We are or were severely over weight. No need to belittle someone and tell them they need to be more productive.

I am so glad that a woman who had been through it gave me the insider tips on my facelift. I owe her big time for: 1) convincing me not to have my face done by the bariatric plastic surgeon who did our body lifts, and 2) preparing me that I would look like monster after my facelift. In the end, I got the most incredible amazing life-changing facelift from a FACIAL plastic surgeon, Dr. Catherine Winslow, and she was cheaper than my body contouring plastic surgeon wanted for the facelift who never could have done the work that she did. And I did not have an emotional breakdown when I woke up form surgery and looked like a monster... and slightly inhuman for weeks afterwards. Although it was quite a shock to my family!
I repeat: Be prepared. If you get a facelift by a facial plastic surgeon s/he is likely to do a whole lot more to maximize the improvements to your facelift after weight loss than a bariatric plastic surgeon is able to do. Thusly this extensive amount of work might leave you looking slightly inhuman for a week or more, as it did me. And, like me, you may not look like yourself for months.
Now I will prepare you just like my friend prepared me. Here are a couple of photos from the early weeks after my facelift. I look slightly inhuman or at least like someone beat me up. And you will, too, so be prepared for this and avoid a panic attack after your facial plastic surgery! This links to my blog post.
http://www.mybariatriclife.org/my-facelift-after-weight-loss-and-looking-slightly-inhuman/

One year ago today I had my surgery down 150.

Gym selfie

My wife was fully supportive of me having wls, but this is my mindset on the issue...
Life is short. Time is the most valuable asset known to man...or woman. You are not promised anything tomorrow. All you can do is to do the best you can every day. When I die, I would hope that I was able to live my best life...That I made lasting memories with others...That I made a difference in the lives of others. It is a real drop the mic situation.
Marriage is not guaranteed to last either. We try to suppress the things that make us happy sometimes to keep our marriages strong as it is all about compromise. I will not compromise my health for a marriage or relationship though. Let me tell a story about my wife's best friend...
She was obese, pre-diabetic, in pain, and unhappy for years. Her husband loved her at over 250 pounds, and refused to support her having surgery. She stayed in the marriage for another 9 years. The marriage then ended up dissolving after an affair was discovered. She was destroyed. After the divorce, she had Gastric band surgery, and lost the weight.
She is now happy and healthy in a committed relationship with a great, supportive guy. Her takeaway is that she gave up a chance at happiness and good health in her twenties for a guy that ended up not being there in her thirties. If she could change one thing, she would have had the surgery 9 or 10 years earlier.
Do you. Don't let a husband keep you from being your best you. He isn't in pain. He isn't going through what you are going through. You can't worry about threats. Live your life. If he leaves, you will find another. Someone who believes in you. Someone who truly has your back.
I wish you the best of luck.

I was going to call this Break On Through To The Other Side (thank you Doors). But I figured I'd get sick of it after a while. I'm going to use this space to keep track on the 2 week march toward surgery and then to keep track of the recovery and progress. That way I can keep it all together and if I just do one thread, it's all in one place without clogging up the Blog Area. I'm sure it's gonna be excruciatingly boring to everyone--me included! I'm a list and minutia kinda gal. I like tracking and counting--although I can be equally lax about crap. So I stop just short of OCD town (not that there's anything wrong with that).
My official 2 week liquid diet starts tomorrow. I decided to jump on it today because Sunday feels like a great place to start and because it's hard to do better than yesterday as my last food day before surgery. I'm a Texan, born and raised, and yesterday we had a fairwell to my ass and thighs via a Texas BBQ tour through Houston and Tomball. I ate so much brisket, sausage and ribs, I can honestly claim to be over it. Growing up in a BBQ family, slow smoked meats is almost in my blood. So it was only natural that I would choose that as the last rights.
I'm having RNY on February 20th and as I understand it, moist (fatty) brisket might not be my friend post surgery. Supposedly high fat foods (which moist brisket is) might cause a sort of "dumping" in the poop department. So I figure my future, once healed, might only include lean cuts of brisket and smoked meats. It's a choice I will readily make to lose weight and get my health back.
So the morning Day 1 hasn't been very difficult--a little hunger and growly tummy, but nothing that makes me feel anxiety. Protein Drinks on board and this afternoon will shop for SF popsicles, SF Jello and Bone Broth. I think I'll stick to packaged bone broth so I can get the actual nutritional information from a certified source. There's no real way for me to tell how many calories and carbs are in the bone broth I make here at home.
My Pre-Op Plan includes: 80-100g of protein; low fat; 60g carbs and somewhere around 1000cals per day.
4-5 Protein drinks containing a minimum of 15g of protein per serving. They must be low fat and low sugar and can't contain over 4g of sugar per serving. I can have clear low sodium broths, sugar free drinks, sugar free jello and sugar free clear popsicles (no fudgsicles or ice cream based pops).
I will do this from now until February 20th.
I'm pretty sure I will be doing plenty of the following:

Your happiness comes before anyone else! If he can't get on the support train, then let him leave. Who would want you to be overweight and increase your risks of health and the quality of your life? Is he insecure that you will leave him anyways? I would rather be alone then in a relationship with someone threatening to leave if you better yourself. No way!

I originally had joined dailystrength a few years ago with this handle. My bf was in active addiction to alcohol/cocaine/ prescription pills and i made it b/c even though his family had given up on him, hope still lived within me that he would come through it. Today he is 20 months sober after 30 years of active addiciton.
Now, hopeliveshere, signifies my new start, i have hope that i will overcome obesity.

In my own mind...I look like Kate Winslet. In real life...I look almost nothing like Kate Winslet.
Paint me like one of your french girls, Fluffy!

Ok, so I'm pretty much a vampire. I haven't appeared in a single family photo or event pic in the last 20-30 years or so. I CAN NOT STAND having my piccy taken. (Am I yelling? Cuz I feel like I am?) You know what I'm tawkin' 'bout?
So yesterday I got as dolled up as I ever get, which ahem, means I bathed, brushed my teeth, dried and scrunched up my hair--but I went out on a limb and put on a tiny bit of makeup. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus of the golden fleece diapers, I looked hot. I felt hot. I felt like this! I swear! You shoulda seen me struttin' my hot stuff through the lemon Jello section. Mama June, give. it. up. Cuz I was smokin'. You get the picture? In case you don't, I could be this chix sistah from another mistah!

So I screwed up the courage, called myself Felicia, and asked Mr. F. to pop off a few "before photos" so I can use them for comparison. I will suffer through another round the morning of surgery, and then will take them periodically throughout the journey to Oz. (Thank you @James Marusek. I will be eternally grateful for this advice.)
When I looked at them, I almost cried. I thought I'd made such progress. I felt "thin" at my 235lbs. I mean look up at my twin right there. What happened? I almost went outside and ate worms. Not part of my pre-op plan to be sure, but still a powerful source of Protein and Fiber if you're so inclined...Oh, what I look like...

Do any of you feel the same way or have you had the same experiences??? Just so you know...
Ring, ring...
Hello selfies?
Go screw yourself! Signed,
Sincerely yours,
Body Dysmorphic in Houston

When I talked to my therapist about it prior to surgery, she suggested I keep in mind that my wife was with me at my heaviest and loved me the same as she does now, so I should keep that in mind if I'm considering leaving her for someone who would then leave me if I got back to my heaviest.
That's why one of the most important pictures to me right now is a picture of my wife and me, taken when I was 60 pounds heavier than I am today.

Hubby just called me on lunch (he usually does) and I asked him what he thought of this statistic and how alarming I thought it was. He's unconcerned, but we had a interesting talk about how it could have affected our marriage ten or fifteen years ago when things were a little more precarious and stressed.
We've been together 25 years now and we're pretty solid...I don't think we're going to have too many issues. We made a shockingly good transition to having an empty nest four years ago...and that's usually a really good sign that your relationship is on good footings.
But yeah....I could see how this surgery could turn things upside down for folks...and back in the earlier days of our marriage I can see how it would have been a lot more challenging.
The article brought up what I'm sure is a really common scenario....where two overeaters are together for years and one decides to get fit and change the eating culture of the household, and the other resists or feels forced. I can see how that could be tough!
I'm lucky in that my hubby has always been a normal weight athletic guy with good eating habits. In many ways....my finally coming around to good habits is putting us more on the same page. it's been a lot of fun getting outside and being active with him:) He is loving our dietary changes. Would be really really hard if he was unsupportive or bringing in trigger foods.
Also, I think 25 years out...you've sorted out the major battles in a way that you haven't yet... when you're young and have little kids, and inlaw ya-ya, and financial stress, and all the pressures that come with that.
To all of us married folks....it's a good reminder to pay attention to our relationships and do the work to maintain them:)

LOL how annoying! My boyfriend got mad at me on Sunday for putting on makeup and wanting to look nice to go to lunch. He wants me to look like crap because it's quicker lol I enjoy getting dolled up. Men! lol @Sosewsue61

I don't get why everyone is being so hard on him? Just because we had this surgery doesn't mean it resolved our issues with food, etc. He sounds like he's doing a lot better than me because I still struggle with eating bad foods - while it's much smaller portions, I still struggle every day. We are human beings, and not all of us can be so immaculate post surgery as others and it's hard to see sometimes.
He sounds like he's eating pretty decent to me though.
But I do realize just how scary it is that if I don't get my sh*t together, I could gain the weight back and I've been working on making my eating habits better.
I enjoy a glass of wine or two like once a month and I'm not fearful of developing an addiction.

I was feeling the same too, disappointed that I did not lose any weight this past week. I'm three weeks post op. But in looking at where I started, I certainly could not have lost 15lbs on my own like that. I think that took me a year when I did it on my own last time. I think @sleevedshereen and @KatFight, you guys are right on, thanks so much for the advice.

Hi guys! 6 months post op. Highest weight was 228 a week before surgery, current weight is 175. Before surgery I felt hopeless, I thought, "There is no way I can lose 80+ lbs." I was so unhappy in the body I was living. Couldn't look at myself in the mirror, ashamed of how I let myself go, disgusted by my food addiction. I hated myself. I was at rock bottom and completely depressed at my highest weight. I'm about 52-53 lbs down and think to myself "only 25-30 more lbs to go" that is so much more achievable than 80+lbs was. I feel, hopeful that I can lose the 25+ lbs by July "my surgiversary". I'm just getting happier and happier every day and gaining my confidence back. Here's a progress pic from right before surgery to me currently.