mytime4me

I did feel a sense of shame, my shame was directed towards myself. I was ashamed I was slowly depriving my body of what it could be at its best potential, shame on me. I actually had a moment where I saw a very overweight child and I broke into tears , I felt horribly for that child. I was that child, I was that teenager, I was that adult. I felt shame for many things, but at the end of the day, you'll find your strength and will be very proud of the decision you made. You will teach, inspire, and be the rock someone will need, someone who wants to achieve a better way of living. Things will be okay!

...there is no shame in what you are doing. How can you be ashamed of being BRAVE, FIERCE and willing to drastically change your life to help better your health? The who, what, why and how we've got here doesn't matter anymore...all that matters now is the when....when we have the surgery, when we hit our goals, when we are much more healthy than we are today. Chin up.
I had my surgery last friday (28th)- I went through something similar feelings. I psyched myself up enough to walk in the OR and then went to sleep. When I woke up in pain - I started to feel that remorse and shame sink back in. As soon as I got up to walk, I realized, I CAN DO THIS and as soon as I was pushed from recovery into my hospital room, my nurse walked in and said "CONGRATS, you have done something most people are too scared to do". Its the little things. Its not easy for sure, but neither were the years leading up to us getting to this point, right? CHIN UP. YOU GOT THIS!
Keep us posted. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

-Allison

...there is no shame in what you are doing. How can you be ashamed of being BRAVE, FIERCE and willing to drastically change your life to help better your health? The who, what, why and how we've got here doesn't matter anymore...all that matters now is the when....when we have the surgery, when we hit our goals, when we are much more healthy than we are today. Chin up.
I had my surgery last friday (28th)- I went through something similar feelings. I psyched myself up enough to walk in the OR and then went to sleep. When I woke up in pain - I started to feel that remorse and shame sink back in. As soon as I got up to walk, I realized, I CAN DO THIS and as soon as I was pushed from recovery into my hospital room, my nurse walked in and said "CONGRATS, you have done something most people are too scared to do". Its the little things. Its not easy for sure, but neither were the years leading up to us getting to this point, right? CHIN UP. YOU GOT THIS!
Keep us posted. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

-Allison

It's ok to have all these emotions, then sort through them and realize that you are worthy of doing whatever you need or want to do in order to be healthy and happy. Be kind to yourself!

Uhhh... yeah.. no.
Obesity isn't my fault, or your fault. It is a problem with society, the food supply, technological advancements, and the like. Chemicals, hormones, drugs.. our bodies are bombarded from conception with so many unnatural substances that we aren't adapted to.
Surgery is our one opportunity to level the playing field. It's a shame only that you perceive this as anything other than that.

My mother stopped by my house for some last minute planning before my surgery on Friday. As she was leaving, I started to cry and she was lovely and hugged me and said all the right things. It was very sweet as those kinds of moments don't happen often anymore. However, what I realized I was crying about was not fear about the surgery or the future, but shame. Shame that I'm about to turn 54 and I am so overweight and so unable to maintain a healthy weight that I'm having surgery. Shame that I don't have the will power or the magic key that I KNOW doesn't exist. Shame because my parents always pushed me to lose weight and keep it off and I could never do the second part, and now I have somehow failed them. Shame that I'm doing something I swore I'd never do, and shame because I feel like I'm being punished for having failed all those other weight loss attempts (hundreds of them, literally)
And yes, know that none of this is rational, I know the reality of my situation, but I was surprised to find that deep sense of shame still existed.
Thank you all for being part of a place I can just go and vent.

The 13th for me, hospital for 2 days, bad nausea for 12 hours, then better, went back to work after 10 days, walking every day, up to 1.2 miles, well healed, but can only eat 600-700 cals per day but I am getting 100gm Protein, eggs and cottage cheese, eating proti Soups with some shredded chicken now. Energy seems surprising good for such low cals, down #24 since surgery. And not at all hungry-weird!

...oh man, this just may be the pre-op diet talking - but it would be so hard for me not to say... "you're not stupid but you're not smart either" right back at 'em

Thank you! That made me laugh. The worst part, on day 9 of this pre-op diet- now all I can think of is fries lol

Yup, almost the same experience, so I switch it. Instead of say I lost this much because they cannot comprehend it. I say yeah I lost a 3 year and a 7 year old 70 pounds, etc. I said to one of my girlfriends pick up your three old. She did, I said be muscle relaxed and feel his weight. She said holy ****. Then I told to pick up her 7 year old and do the same my last words to her was that is what I was carrying a around. Now she respects my decision.

I do hope so .. I'm going to Beth Israel down on 15 st

I think most of us have all been there. I surprised my hubby one day and said I am doing s WLS conference to start the process. It took him a bit to realize, but even through his adjustment he has been my rock. I ended up finally telling my close family and friends. Most was negative except for my one friend (she is becoming a nurse) if it wasn't for her I think I would of flip my sh&t on everyone.

My new boss and his wife when I told them she couldn't believe I had it done because I am the smaller of the bari people. And she says what the hell do I know. We talk about it openly at work and they cannot believe the difference. Plus I am a cheap lunch out at work since I usually just get a side salad. They have been super supportive. I heard everything under the sun. All the " it did not work" for this person and "it did not work for that person.". Well, guess what I am 6 months out and drop a 3 year old and a 7 year old. I put in a context that relates to people. So I am not carry around the weight of that age group any more. It's gone. I even said to my friend and she is mostly encouraging I told her all this negative talk just adds fuel to the fire that if you stick to the change it will work. Us bari people work harder than the people that don't have it. We don't have the choice to eat what we want and how much if you stick to it. I say screw them all. Be who you are. And when that weight drops and you in w bikini and they are in a tankini and shorts at the beach you can say what have you done to improve your healthy life... these negative nellies don't make my life go round I do. And you know what I have no health issues any more.

I was told by a doctors m. a. that I "wasn't that big" and "have you tried dieting?" Are you kidding me??

I was just reading your post again (now that I'm fully awake lol) and what your benefits manager said to you was basically illegal. I worked in HR for quite a few years and you DO NOT even have to tell them what you are having surgery for and they HAVE to give you the time off as requested. That person should not be in that position and you should DEFINITELY file a complaint with that persons supervisor.

Anyways, I hope your surgery went well today!! My thoughts are with you today!! [emoji173]️

Thankfully, I have not heard any smart ass remarks. That's the reason I chose not to share my journey with very many people outside those that I truly, truly trust. Sad that I felt I had to keep this from people because of that reason, to protect myself from those who feel the need to judge me. It's been a year, and thankfully, I'm more comfortable and can share it a little more as time goes by.

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For all of these reasons, my husband and I have not told anyone about getting sleeved! I am 3 weeks post op and he is 2 weeks pre-op right now. This is a secret we are keeping between the two of us. We don't need the negativity, as you all have said, this decision is hard enough! I almost backed out of the surgery after I was admitted to the hospital on surgery day. I went through with it and I'm feeling pretty good about my decision so far. My fear came from having my gallbladder removed exactly 1 month prior to getting sleeved, but it has helped me keep the secret, by blaming my small portions or lack of eating on the lack of gallbladder to aid in digestion! Ha ha!

People are so rude and ignorant and they think they know what is best for you. Only you know what is best for you!

A neighbor said to me......what we go thru in the name of vanity......i put her in her place and told her, NO! I'm doing this for health reasons because I would like to live longer and healthier!!!!

A good friend of mine told me when I'm at my goal weight my tits will be at my belly button and my face will be full of wrinkles!!!! Thanks friend! It just so happens that she is already full of wrinkles and at 60 years old and 35 pounds down, half way yo goal!!!, I don't have any wrinkles!!!



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Oh man... (Ok, berry, shake it off.. you'll be ok. Just a harmless comment...*twitch* *twitch*) deep breath.. OOOmmmmmm
ok.. story time!
So, when I was about 5 or 7, my brothers told me to be careful swallowing watermelon seeds because they might grow in my belly.
I
literally
didn't
eat
watermelon
for
10
years.
And, when I DID start eating it again, I spent like 30 minutes picking the seeds out of one piece.
After all that? Now watermelon hurts my sleeve! LOL!

...so today, I told my mother in law that I was having WLS and getting sleeved Friday (28-Jul). She told me to save myself the recovery and just stop eating french fries. Where was that helpful information all along?!?!?! LOL
In all seriousness, I am in the process of getting approved for time off after my surgery and the short term benefits manager at my company literally told me that if I utilized the work gym, I wouldn't have to take time off to "deal with this now".

Seriously, WTF people. Its hard enough making the decision I made, so not very thankful for the peanut gallery!
I am trying to stay positive and blocking out all the judgy comments. I am hoping that will be easier when I can rock an "I told you so" body.
<end rant>

I probably do need to increase my liquid intake! I am tempted to just chug a bottle instead of sipping.

Hi all! I am brandie-new to this site but I thought it looked amazing!
So, I had my surgery on July 24th. I have no pain from incisions, occasional soreness but nothing too remarkable. I too am on what was referred to as Bariatric Stage 2 diet, aka liquids only. It's been a week and one day, and it feels like the longest week. I feel better. I can notice a change in mood, some sleep (I was a real bad insomniac prior to surgery), I wake up feeling a bit more refreshed and get right up vs prior I'd lay in bed in a miserable daze for about an hour. I want to do more walking etc., but I do not want to overdo it I go for recheck on Aug. 16th, so I'll discuss what I can incorporate in for physical activity then. BUT, man am I having a hard time with the liquids and I noticed the Protein Shakes make me a bit gassy and sometimes mildly nauseous. I am not physically hungry much at all, only mildly here and there. But yes, the liquids only for the past week and knowing I have 2 more weeks at least of it (I can do "pureed" food in one week) is rough. Doing it like the doc said but it is rough. Especially when my family all have dinner or order out, etc. Trying to keep myself busy... and hydrated! I know in my head it will get easier in time and the liquid only is not forever but it has been a frustration at times.

Hi guys I made it. Lol. My surgery went well.

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I'm tired but will update on everything tomorrow. Thanks guys

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Thank you @Half-Tum

That makes me feel so much better. I know we just had major surgery and I didn't expect it to be a walk in the park...the dry heaves and nausea seem to be the icing on my "cake" today. I am glad to hear you are feeling so much better and am hopefully to tell you in a few days I am right there with you Keep up the good fight!

Yess, milk of magnesia is going to take care of that for you, i have found that a single dosage sends me running to the potty within a few hours and I dont have to take the second one of the day. Fingers crossed for you!!