deb2571

I won't be deleting any accounts. You are more than welcome to unsubscribe from our emails and go your merry way.
The straw that broke the camels back was a group of weight loss surgeons, bariatric psychologists, and other integrated health members that approached me recently at a weight loss surgery conference I was attending. They said they love suggesting BariatricPal to their patients but were very concerned about some bullying that was taking place. They didn't feel it was a "safe" place for their patients. Many of our members ended up becoming overweight because of the bullying and trauma they had suffered earlier on in life. It's quite sickening that they should be required to re-live the same trauma while seeking "support" online!
I opened up an investigation a few weeks ago and what I discovered was nauseating. There are hundreds of private messages between some members that discuss strategy on how to bully or make fun of other members that disagree with them publicly. At the end of the day, we're an online support group and everyone needs to learn how to play nice. If you can't abide by the rules, you're not welcome here.
If this was about $, I'd keep things status quo and wouldn't ruffle any feathers. I promised myself that 2017 would be an awesome one for the BariatricPal community and our members. If you're not happy with my decision, you are more than welcome to follow the members I banned to the other online communities that are readily available to you.

BariatricPal Members,
I wanted to remind you all about BariatricPal’s purpose and policies. If you do not want to read this entire post, please at least read the following points!
BariatricPal is a safe place for the weight loss surgery community. No rudeness or disrespect will be permitted. Your use of BariatricPal implies your acceptance of the Forum Rules. Failure to follow the Forum Rules can lead to consequences included lifetime bans from BariatricPal. Now for the complete version:
I created BariatricPal in 2003 to help other bariatric surgery patients. I want the forums to be able to help everyone reach their weight loss surgery and health goals. My goal is to maintain the forums as a place for weight loss surgery patients and potential patients to come for information and support.
BariatricPal is intended to be a safe place for the entire weight loss surgery community. I want EVERY SINGLE MEMBER to feel welcome on this board. You should feel comfortable asking questions, expressing doubts, and sharing advice, insights, and experiences.
Unfortunately, this has not been the case recently. I have heard from multiple sources that some members are uncomfortable here. They feel attacked when they post. I have heard this not only from newbie and veteran members, but also from bariatric surgeons, nurses, and psychologists who are members of ASMBS and who have heard concerns about BariatricPal from their patients.
A tiny minority of BariatricPal members are responsible for creating these concerns. The vast majority of BariatricPal members have wonderful, helpful, positive, and informative posts. I thank you for that. You are responsible for BariatricPal’s success.
A few of you, I suspect, truly want to help, but may come off sounding a little harsher than you meant. This can be off-putting to members who have sincere questions and are looking for guidance. To prevent accidentally hurting other members, I urge you to re-read the Forum Rules for suggestions on making your posts helpful rather than hurtful.
There is a tiny minority of BariatricPal members who have gone far beyond the occasional misconstrued post. It is these members who have prevented the forums from being a safe place for everyone. They repeatedly and intentionally start threads or respond to members with disparaging or rude remarks. They often imply or state outright that they are correct and that other posters are doomed to fail. They send private messages urging their friends to bully other members who disagree with them. This does not create a safe space for members!
Anyone who violates the Forum Rules is subject to consequences, include being permanently banned from BariatricPal.
The Forum Rules state, “All members have the right to express their opinions and are encouraged to do so while maintaining a courteous tone.” Disagreeing with someone and expressing yourself politely to say so is one thing. Intentionally hurting others is quite another. If you are unsure of how to respond to a post without being rude, please refer to the Forum Rules for examples and guidelines.
Again, I thank the overwhelming majority of BariatricPal members who are just trying to help, and who have done a wonderful job of lending a hand or ear to those who need it. I hope you all recognize the value you each bring to the boards, and you consider how you can contribute in the most constructive way possible.
Thank you!

I'm 5 months post op gastric bypass. I do go out to eat but I make smart choices like salad, chicken, Soup. Lite choices on the menu. At this stage I couldn't eat something "bad" I don't have the room in my pouch. Also I'm trying to teach myself not to think of food as a reward. I know when I get to maintenence I can ocassionally have a bite of something off of my plan. I was and still am a food adict. I will always have to be careful not to fall back into that behavior. My brain is a fat girl brain in a thinner body. Surgery can't change that.
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I'm 5 months post op gastric bypass. I do go out to eat but I make smart choices like salad, chicken, Soup. Lite choices on the menu. At this stage I couldn't eat something "bad" I don't have the room in my pouch. Also I'm trying to teach myself not to think of food as a reward. I know when I get to maintenence I can ocassionally have a bite of something off of my plan. I was and still am a food adict. I will always have to be careful not to fall back into that behavior. My brain is a fat girl brain in a thinner body. Surgery can't change that.
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Holy God that's a lot of cuts and scars.
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OMG! why were you opened like that vertically? Couldn't they do your hernia laparascopic? I know I won't be having a tummy or thigh tuck after seeing this. Im sorry that just looks like to much for me. Your a trooper for sure. I hope you heal well.
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Be honest. Lies have a way of catching up with you. You'll feel better just telling the truth.
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Also, I believe many surgeons like the sleeve because the procedure is faster and easier, just my opinion. Sent from my SM-N920P using the BariatricPal App

Yup. Me too.
I gave up smoking, alcohol (pretty much) to have this surgery, so you'll take my coffee from my cold, dead hands.

One more thing: I also prevent myself from judging, by realizing I have no idea where that larger person is in their journey....they may have just lost 100, 200, or 300 lbs, and are thrilled with their success and proud of their hard work....who the hell am I to place a judgment on that!
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Personally, I have been guilty of not necessarily judging people based on their size, but on making size comparisons, as in when looking at someone larger than me, "well I'm fat, but I'm not THAT fat." I'm working now on halting such comparisons, mostly because someone else's size is not my business.....MY size is my business.
I feel that people who lose weight and are extremely judgmental of heavy people do so out of fear knowing they could slip into old habits and go back to that themselves. And I agree with another poster, who said most likely they have many unresolved issues about how they felt about themselves when bigger.
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@@doxaholic, that's just unresolved hate they feel for their former selves misdirected outwardly at you. Just be glad that won't be you!
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It seems to me that people who lose gobs of weight and are judgmental of others who are overweight were equaily judgmental before they lost weight. The possible reasons are many, so I won't even take time to name any. You can figure them out.

My heart breaks for them. I want to hug them.

Over the years, I vacillated back and forth between sympathy and outright hatred. I know the hatred was as another poster noted, really self hatred for what I used to be.
Now that I am four years post WLS, when I see a morbidly obese person, all I think is 'there but for the grace of God go I'

I would never be that shallow. I know what it feel like to be judged and I can look past weight and see someone for their heart.
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I would never be that shallow. I know what it feel like to be judged and I can look past weight and see someone for their heart.
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I would never be that shallow. I know what it feel like to be judged and I can look past weight and see someone for their heart.
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I loved them... but I was a lot younger back then!
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I remember those days when I was just on Protein shakes! Funny
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I'm not sure but I agree. Assholes come in all shapes and sizes!
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I haven't been on here long but I can count the three people I have seen, since I joined not too long ago, who troll these forums with no niceties whatsoever. They quickly judge and shoot down someone with no thoughts to feelings. It's like they were mean fat people that got skinny and didn't bother to leave the mean part of themselves behind. Anyway, how can I block them??? Is there any way?
I'd prefer to read encouraging remarks. Sure you don't have to agree, but you can do constructive criticism without the attacks!
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When I watch I can't eat for the rest of the day.. it's Iike when I watch a episode of hoarders I get up and start cleaning everything lol.
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I loved them... but I was a lot younger back then!
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I had my bypass on 8/8/16. SW 281 CW 202. I'm losing 2 1/2 to 3lb. a week. The weight loss is slowing down but I expected that especially since I'm almost under 200 lb. I think your weight loss is normal. The lighter we get the weight will come off slower.
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