scaredbuthopeful

So I'm a year out from my surgery, and last night I was thinking about the things no one told me I would experience post op.
Here's my list:
Sensitive tummy! I used to have a cast Iron stomach preop. I could eat ANYTHING and not get sick. I'm talking about food left out for a day or two, weird combinations of food, anything. NOW - my stomach is very sensitive and temperamental. I can eat something one day and be fine, and eat it the next day and it will send me straight to the bathroom. Tummy issues 2 - Before surgery, I used to be able to "hold" my poo (sorry if TMI) if I was in an inconvenient place (like work or the mall) until I got home. Not anymore. When I gotta go, I gotta go! And I cramp when I have to go. Drinking Water is a CHORE. I didn't realize how much of a chore drinking water would be - especially with the "no eating and drinking at the same time" rule. Presurgery I could drink 64 oz of water a day easily. Now, not so much. Deep down I thought being "skinny" would fix a majority of my issues. NOPE! My butt hurts constantly from sitting on things! I guess since some of the padding is gone, LOL. My refrigerator is a constant churn of leftovers. I am having trouble making peace with throwing away leftovers but I have to constantly. I don't get nervous about having physicals at the doctor anymore. If I eat the wrong thing late at night (there's one Protein Bar in particular) it gives me indigestion really bad. What are some of the things that no one told you that you're experiencing post op?

My overweight husband said this... "So when you lose all of the weight I'll have a smoking hot wife, maybe then you'll feel like getting intimate more often." My response, "Maybe, I've had my eye on a couple of guys, I'm just waiting for the right moment." LOL He really needs to step up his game and give me something smoking too!!

I don't understand why you couldn't just have some willpower and shit your mouth.
You don't need to change your diet just get active.
Being overweight isn't the problem it's your attitude and inactive lifestyle. I just want you to be more "fit" and "active". (My ex)
I thought you were fine fat.
Just eat more vegetables.
I'll just fuck the fat off you. my personal favorite.
Don't even get me started on the stuff my family said before I was considering surgery!!! About how "worried" they were about me

I am really sick and tired of being lectured on this site...people assuming just because I was fat, that I had an unhealthy relationship with food. Not everyone was like this! Pre op, I never ate to excess because when I was full I would stop eating. (I was on a low calorie lifestyle change and stuck with it for years...I stuck with it so I wouldn't gain weight) Fat people get this stereotype from those on the outside all the time (that we eat a lot)and I finally thought this was a place of non judgement. I am aware many on this site got the way they are because they ate a lot but not everyone. Same goes with exercising: people are lecturing that you have to make sure you exercise daily or else and half of these holier than now lectures haven't seen the inside of a gym until this year. Which isnt a problem because they have chosen to make a change but do not lecture others when you dont know their history. Finally...being lectured about my post op drinks. Everyone is given a list by their drs and are not supposed to stray away from that list. I was told 2oz 3x per day of boost, ensure, Atkins, slim fast, etc. I am constantly being told these are not healthy...and being read the nutrition facts..um I have it right in front of me and can read but honestly if my dr says to drink it I will.

21 April - going in at 0630!!
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I'm in Basingstoke and having my op at spire southampton on the 21 April.
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So, here's the plan:
I have a flashlight and a shovel...

5 gallon buckets and lye works better.....leaves no trace. And that comes directly from a police investigator!
BTW, I have three cats and a good supply of batteries. Couldn't be happier.

These are incredible!
So far I've had the guy who showed up to dinner with no teeth and one who still lived with his mom (he was almost 40) who were the BETTER dates. Another took me on a hike but spent the whole time talking about his ex, then left me standing in the parking lot looking for my keys. One lived in his ex-wife's basement, smelled like cheese, and drove around the neighborhood screaming profanity at people (I lied and said I lived close by then walked almost 3 miles home late at night).
The last one takes the cake, though. He said he thought he might be facing impending homelessness, and my mouth engaged before my brain and said, "well, if you can't find something fast enough, you can spend a few days on my couch until you find something else" (because who on earth could say, "gee, sorry" and watch someone sleep in a tent, y'know?). 6 days later he showed up with all his stuff, and now he won't leave...it's been almost a month. When I figure out what to do with him, I'm going to stop dating for a while, lol.

Send me a friend request & message and I'll add you! It's a fantastic group so far, 70 or so members :-) Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G530AZ using Tapatalk

Just read the article. Not sure that I agree with some of it. I think we see what we think we look like..whether it's weight, or something else. I had no idea I was a heavy as I was. Only when I saw pictures did I realize what I really looked like. Fast forward to me now and it's the same thing only reversed. I need to see pictures to really 'see' what I look like after losing 145 or so pounds.
Oh, and I am always looking at my reflection, not because I'm obsessed..but because it helps me to see what I actually look like, and not what I think I look like.
I've been in maintenance for about a year and a half and I still hold up the jeans or the dress and think that there's no way I'll fit in that small size. And this is after two years of therapy as well. I'm better but I'm not 'cured' of this...not by a longshot.

I see it a differnt way your a marriage...in his eyes prob thinks you can hadle it all. I would let them come and just tell them you have the flue or something this certainly is not something to let go of your marriage over...a heart to heart is required yes but not kicking him out etc...

Good for you!! That is super rude for him to expect you to entertain that soon after surgery. I agree with one of the above posters- maybe you can call them and ask if they can come another time.
Best of luck to you, you deserve happiness

wHEN THEY GET THERE I WOULD TELL THEM THAT IM SICK FLU CRAMPS WHATEVER KINDLY CLOSE MY BEDROOM DOOR AND GO TO sleep. yOUR HUSBANCD WILL GET THE MESSAGE.

Thank you all... I'm going to sit down with him after work on Monday and tell him he either supports me or he will be explaining to the family why he is moving out!!!
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Thank you all... I'm going to sit down with him after work on Monday and tell him he either supports me or he will be explaining to the family why he is moving out!!!
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You are NOT being unreasonable - he is. Completely. Go stay with a friend or get yourself a hotel room and see how he deals with visiting family on his own.

And THIS is why I'll never have a husband!!
Well...
It's one of the reasons...

I can understand how upset you must be with him. However, don't let it get you down. I know you did not want others to know about your procedure, and you probably don't want to postpone either.
I say just go forth as planned, but also let your husband know your feelings (calmly, even though you're upset). If at 3 days post op you don't feel like entertaining (which at this point is unclear, some people are fine by then), then only do what you are up for, and excuse yourself. They might understand that you are not up to it. That or plan for activities in the home that require little to no effort on your part (they are elderly right?).
Sorry, I am just trying to be optimistic.

NOT cool! This is major surgery -- you will not feel well enough to entertain after just 3 days post-op PLUS you have the right to your privacy. If there is no way out of hosting the fam, I would see about postponing the surgery for a week so you can properly focus on your recuperation and health.

I can't imagine that the aunt and uncle would want to come if they knew you are going to be "post op" for whatever reason.
Maybe, "some one" needs to gently tell them that you are have a "procedure" done and would enjoy their visit SOOOO much more later on in the Spring.
That would be my "Plan A" suggestion.

He elevates "non-supportive" to a creative art form. Because I can't think of a workable solution, as it would raise questions that you don't want asked (about having surgery), I suggest we all come to your town to kick your husband in the shins. I hope you can work this out in reasonable fashion.
Have you considered inviting him to attend a support group meeting with you? He may catch on from hearing other people's experiences. Yours is too close for comfort...maybe.

Hi, my consultants staff gave me the heads up saying 07 April but I'm waiting for the paperwork to confirm it! Scared, nervous and excited all at the same time!!
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Hi, my consultants staff gave me the heads up saying 07 April but I'm waiting for the paperwork to confirm it! Scared, nervous and excited all at the same time!!
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