IansmommyRVA

Weight loss will bring forth a wellspring of insecurity in relationships that weren't solid to begin with. Luckily I haven't experienced this with my fiancée. Seems like people's relationships either get stronger or eventually collapse after this surgery. It seems like your weight loss has revealed a side of him you both weren't expecting? I say, you've fought hard for yourself to get healthy. It's not unfair to hold him to the same standards of health; and if that requires him to go seek medical help for his mental illness, so be it. But making excuses for him and saying he "flips" if mental health treatment options are brought up, leaves us with very little advice to give you, because it's probably advice you dont want to hear. You may need to face some serious, hard truths and confront the fact that he may not change his situation for you. Prayer will only get you so far in this predicament, I'm afraid. Counseling and medical help for mental illness is a must. Your safety is at risk. I have personal experience dealing with PTSD with a war vet. It can be a dangerous situation. Draw some lines in the sand. Let him know you're there for him but compromise is needed.

As a country it is a disgrace how we neglect our veterans and their families when it comes to mental health. Please make sure you take care of yourself. Even if he only hurts you emotionally, that is not acceptable.
Sending prayers.

It gets better.
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@@Hiraeth
When the weight comes off I feel like you naturally become more active.
I do jumping jacks now just because I can and I am bored. I run when I don't have to. I don't try to bring everything in from the car in one trip, I don't care if I make more trips up and down the stairs.
The more you lose the natural it becomes.
Also being active is useful just because you center of gravity changes and you have to learn your body over again.

Yes I think being active is easier when you have less weight to carry. I think it's important to workout 3-5 days a week and sometimes staying motivated is hard for people so change it up. Try new things. I personally workout first thing in the morning so that I can't make excuses. Just get it done. Have a plan and even put out your workout clothes.
~LA

Yes, it gets better and easier as you lose weight especially if you exercise and stay active.
Focus on improving your: strength, cardio/aerobic capacity, endurance, and flexibility and the sky is the limit!

Yes!
I'm 49, and I find myself doing the silliest things because I can now.
I found myself jumping rope at the gym the other day. I haven't jumped rope in probably 30 years. I did great! My bladder....not so much.
I hike, climb trees and rocks, run around with my dogs, ride my cool beach cruiser bike, run a couple miles, and can climb over 100 floors on the Stair Climber. Sometimes I find myself wanting to push limits physically just to see how far I can go. It's the best feeling in the world. It gives me a natural high!
Start working on muscle strength and stamina now, and by the time you've lost most of your weight, there will be no stopping you at your age! Aches and pains from being older is the only thing that can stop me now, lol.

@@Dairymary Very well said. I do things/eat things that aren't on plan for me, but I'd never advise anyone else to do same or give them the 'permission' so many seem to be looking for when they come here with a chicken bone hanging out of their mouth on day 5.
I continue to be blown away by the number of people who have seemingly had little to no education as to what this surgery entails both physically and emotionally. If you're eating fried chicken on day 5, you have no bloody idea what just happened to your body.

But who's fault is that? So many posters come on here, asking questions that they should be asking their surgeons. They are the ones seeking medical advice from strangers on an Internet forum. It's fine to ask about other people's experiences and opinions but they should not be asking what THEY should be doing. Unfortunately they do.
I completely agree that post WLS is not a one size fits all formula. Everyone needs to find what works for them, under their doctor's supervision. In my responses I try to stick with describing my own experience, but make it clear that it may not work for everyone. No one on here is qualified to tell any other patient how to proceed with their diet and excercise programs so it's the people asking for advice that need to realize the responses are indeed, opinions and individual anecdotes, not medical facts.

My favorite advice is call your surgeon because we are not doctors. I do know to say don't eat a taco one week post sleeve. We do the best we can, shaming and ridicule here is ridiculous and rampant. I might give advice but I always end it with good luck or best wishes.

Kind of venting... Don't get me wrong I have learned so many helpful things because of this site on my journey but I have noticed as well how many biased opinions regarding what to do and what not to do post op as well...
Sorry but every person is different. Some people have comorbidities or other circumstance that the typical "black and white cookie cutter" guide to the sleeve diet post op does not fit all. And that doesn't mean your doing something wrong.
If you have a competent surgeon and knowledgeable dietician follow their plan, be smart/make good choices and results will follow. It's frustrating to see people on here bring posters down by challenging them on their choices. This site shouldn't be a substitute for a doctor or dietician. If in doubt reach out to your team
Kidney patients especially for one shouldn't be getting loads and loads of Protein in. And diabetics can probably benefit from having a small serving of a whole grain at Breakfast to stabilize blood sugars through the day. But also I'm not anyone's doctor on here so don't take my advice either
Bottom line is I just keep seeing advice on here that could do more damage than good especially not knowing their history. Anyways that's the end of my rant. Just because someone might not be following what worked for someone else absolutely does not mean they're doing something wrong.
*disclaimer* this post is not defending those who have pizza, fried chicken, bread, alcohol days and weeks post op! Haha!
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That is great advice. I havent had any Pasta, bread or rice in 2yrs. And i really dont miss them. I havent had any craving except for lays potatoe chips....cant eat just 1. I really want some chips but i keep getting some smoothie and keep going.
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You will wade into it, don't worry. You'll start on liquids only for a couple weeks, then they'll gradually work you into more solid food, until after about 6 or 8 weeks (varies by surgeon and patient) you'll be left to your own devices. But in that six week period, you'll start seeing where your priorities need to be with the food, and how small your stomach's capacity is. So you'll be better equipped to make appropriate choices.
Basically, you're going to discover that breads, rice and Pasta are not a priority because they swell up in your stomach and don't leave room for Protein...and Protein is your biggest priority. You focus on that first, every meal. You'll probably focus on complex carbohydrates that aren't super filling, like the breads are. Beans, potatoes, sweet potatoes, etc...
Let's just say that if you've got yourself squared away mentally, you won't be thinking it's time for a burger and fries. You don't have the space in your stomach, and you will have new priorities when it comes to food. These are good changes.
Don't panic, it doesn't happen all at once. Let yourself get used to the changes. Also, you probably aren't going to have to worry too terribly much about calories until you get closer to your goal weight. The sleeve is so restrictive that you probably will struggle to exceed 500 calories a day for quite a while...and that means if you are doing a reasonable amount of cardio, you're going to be in a steep calorie deficit. Unless you start drinking a bunch of sugar drinks all day and whatnot.

I had surgery 4/4/16
HW 274
SW 248
CW 184.4
I'm so close to no longer being obese!!
The first pic is about 4-5 years ago, I was probably 250 ish

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I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon this week, 7 months post-op. He told me I'm doing fantastic, should lose about 15 more lbs, and then, looking me dead in the eye and stated, "damn, I did a good job!"
He did, and I did too! I'm in shock daily at how for I've come this year. My head hasn't caught up yet though, and most days I still feel fat, despite what i see in the mirror. I'm OK with that though, because gives me the motivation to keep making good choices and keeps me from being complacent.
My husband and I went out last night to Celebrate our anniversary and we took a picture together (the one on the right, cropped him out for privacy). I just keep staring at it, I can't believe it's me, what I have dreamed of accomplishing all of my life.
Anyway, no real point to this post, other than I feel good, I feel happy, and I just wanted to share that damn, we're all doing a good job!

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15 weeks post op down 60lbs!!!!!
I have a ways to go and it has taken hard work but looking forward to the next 15 weeks!  
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Such the educator. Thank your for this pro-tip.

I don't know of many of us that are medically qualified to answer that question. You really ought to check with your doctor on that one.
As far as people's sexual preferences if you don't have a good answer here then don't reply. I can see the concern in this question. My wife is a four-year degree Psychology major with an emphasis in abnormal sexuality. This is not considered abnormal anymore.

Sure. I had one drink 4 months post op, then a couple more 8 months post op in Hawaii. Even now in maintenence, I rarely drink because I'd rather eat my calories. Just make sure you're healed up well and it won't interfere with your Fluid, Protein and weight loss goals.

Forget alcohol for a year post-op. Ignore its existence. And after that, you will probably find that one drink is about all it's going to take to have you flying like a kite. I'm not a big drinker personally, so it's not a huge loss for me.

OK I've finally decided to be brave and post a couple of photos, apologies they are pretty poor quality as I'm not overly fond of pictures but before was June last year, the latest one is yesterday (I was obviously concentrating on something else in that one ????)

Been maintaining in the low 190's for a couple of months now. Over 150 lbs lost. Hard to
believe I used to fit in those pants!

Hi all, my name is Yana! I am 26 years old, 271lbs, 5'3", and I live in Richmond, VA. I am very glad I found this place to connect with other people who are or have been in the same boat as me! I have started the process to get sleeved! per my insurance requirements I have a 6 month waiting period. I have already seen my nutritionist, done psychology evaluation, and will do my first PCP visit in mid January, oh and a sleep apnea as well.
I have always been fat! all my life! but right now I feel like I am in my highest and need to do something about it. I was 200lbs when I met my husband, and almost 4 years later and one baby, I am 271lbs! not good at all! I tried weight loss pills, NutriSystem, Herbalife, all kind of diets and nothing was permanent. I have been considering weight loss surgery for the last couple of years. I started a new job recently, and I had to get my health screenings done, and I had to do it twice, my shocking moments was when I saw the results and my glucose level were very high and my blood pressure was high as well. I was like, I have a 20 months old son! and a husband with PTSD from war, I need to do something to be able to keep this family together!, and that's when after a talk with a really good friend of mine, she told me that she had the lapband and recommended me about the procedures and well! here I am, starting my journey! and very excited about it.
Sorry for the long post and my writing, English is my second language =)
Thanks for reading, all your posts have been very inspiring and encouraging.
Yana.

I really don't remember a point in my life where I started gaining weight. I was always bigger with the sentence "she'll grow out of this chubby phase soon" whispered above my head.
Getting into high school I remember having to look for a desk that I could fit into easily, problem was, some classrooms only had older desks and I was left with my gut taking up most of my table.
You would think I would do something, recognize that this wasn't okay. But I was confident, and very social, I had earned a fantastic network of friends. But just friends. I made it to 18 before I had anything close to a real boyfriend. I didn't feel like I deserved more then just one night of a guys attention, I didn't how wrong I was.
The only people that ever really bullied me were my own grandparents, with traditional my figure was the butt of the rude and hurtful joke, and constant scrutiny. Even to go as far as me telling them I was going intertubbing with friends only to have my grandfather literally grab my stomach fat and say "good thing you have your own tube"
I didn't speak to them for over a year after that.
My mom and father were both over weight, my father was fairly active and my mother worked a lot.
Fast food and quick diner dinners and take out was the daily norm for us. Causing food to be what brought us together. The best way I can put it is where other peoples family's went on walks or hikes, or maybe they snowboarded. The could have liked to go hunting! But my family would literally drive for an hour just to go get f*+king doughnuts.
(That I miss dearly)
My mom decided to have Bariatric sleeve surgery and had amazing success, one night about 6 months post op he tried her hardest to ask me if I wanted to have the surgery too without hurting my feeling.
I immediately said yes and we filled out an application that night
June 25th 2015. Surgery day.
I felt more prepaid then most others in the room looked. I had a first hand play by play that I had my mom tell me everything was going to be fine.
I don't remember much after changing into the hospital robe, I remember waking up my mom was there, drinking her Protein Shake, like always. I was in pain, it felt like someone had drug me around by my hands and had dislocated my shoulders from my arms.
Every time I swallowed I felt a sharp pain. But soon the pain meds started to help and within three hours I was up and walking, I crunched happily on ice and eventually some apple juice that I swear was made from what ever kind of apple eve ate cause damn.
By the 4th day I wanted food, SOMETHING TO CHEW I had been put on a 14day liquid diet pre op.
And we all know how post op goes so I was stuck with the soft stuff, best thing I've found is a no flavor Protein powder, I have one that has 30mg protein per table spoon, I'd mix a table spoon with some baby food and have it for dinner around week 3. Week 4 I had some sliced turkey brest and part of a piece of orange (not a good plan)
Slowly I re introduced foods and started becoming more active and seeing the lbs fall off.
Today I am 176lbs. I feel happy and beautiful and healthy and I can't wait to see how much farther I'll go!

Good advice. I also have had a little harsh response to one of my posts. Please don't let a few hurtful responses turn you off to this. There is an extremely amount of experience and tips here. I have gained so much info. I believe that the people who are the furthest out from surgery tend to forget how they felt when they were starting out. Don't engage with negative comments. That's the best way to handle it. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using the BariatricPal App