HunnyBun

wow that's cool! :glasses

Wow DeLarla! Those are great pictures! You look very sexy. I know I don't post much but reading a lot of your posts I became inspired to dress sexier. Last night I went to a new Italian club and wore the cutest sparkly top. Showed off my shoulders and neck, really sexy. I had a man ask me to dance, and one guy was all over me! He kept asking me to see him next weekend and to come to his housewarming party. He later asked my friend if he thinks I'm interested! How cool! I danced my ass off too! You are a beautiful sexy woman DeLarla! Maggie

NJChick, oh my gosh! That is so funny! I remember freaking out over sock lint (black socks) once, no one other than my son was around to see it thank goodness! That's the problem with having bad eyes. LOL Man, that was a great laugh at 8am! Maggie

What is a DS?

In Chicago La Madam

Are there any dating services special for plus size people? I have looked through many services and whenever I told someone my weight, they said no thanks. It's very frustrating going through all this trouble and would be so easy to just meet someone who likes big girls. I'm not looking for a man, I got one that I love dearly, but my sister needs a man and she can't handle any more rejection and heart ache!

Well my boyfriend and I were having one of those tease each other days. He kept trying to kiss me in a gross way, licking my face, slobbering all over me etc. Well I got really fed up with him and decided it's payback. I leaned in really close and started giving him a nice romantic kiss and suddenly stuck my tongue as far in his mouth as I could, really fast. I knew he was getting grossed out because I felt him try to escape and that made me laugh really hard. I didn't want to laugh because I didn't want him to escape so I laughed through my nose... only my nose was full of snot. With a huge nosey laugh, I left a huge blob of snot on his face. He was so grossed out that he ran into the bathroom, and I locked myself in my bedroom and said I am not coming out ever so he might as well go home. I avoided seeing him for a while, but soon we were both laughing about it. I was horrified though! Another embarassing moment was when I worked as a temp at Motorola. I had these black work pants I usually wore and as I was sitting at my station I felt them split in the thigh. I was so scared to move that for half an hour I sat there hoping someone I can trust will walk by and let me borrow their sweater to wrap around my waist or something. No one came though! I ended up having to find my supervisor and explain that I needed to go home. I was new so it was not a great way to start our relationship, but she ended up being a really sweet lady and understood completely. I know that people noticed, even when I was walking to my car, I felt people's heads turning. Once I was in my car I felt so relieved!

Hi Vines. Thank you for your post. I appreciate what you wrote very much. When I read my post I decided to look at it like I would look at someone else who said those things and I do see something I have been blocking in my mind. Vines, I do have moments of weakness where I feel sad and depressed, but it is not a danger to me. I wouldn't ever consider leaving my son behind. My thought of suicide aren't 'gee I wish I was dead' but more like 'death doesn't seem so bad'. Maggie

Wow becky, seems like you have it really hard. Don't worry though, people who make dumb comments only make them because they are ignorant.

Oh Alex! I absolutely HATE it when someone comments on my eatign habits. I am 23 years old and when I have ONE cookie (not 10), how dare someone come and tell me I shouldn't be eating it. My mom does this all the time and sometimes I am just about ready to throw the food at her and tell her off. Thank God none of my friends do this, but I can only imagine what comments they will make once I am banded. I have to say, on a side note... since I made the decision about gettign the band, I started eating a lot healthier. I feel so relieved that I found something to help me control my weight that I am no longer stressed about being fat. The stress was what caused me to overeat! This is already good for me and I don't even have it yet.

I read my post several times and I see something too. Let's see what Vines says and we'll compare our thoughts.

LOL, you ladies crack me up!

I don't think I follow what you're saying. Or trying to say?

What's important, why?

I'm not the anorexic 17 year old girl anymore, and I realize that losing weight isn't going to fix my problems. Actually, my only problem with my weight is that I feel ugly. I don't expect it to fix other things, maybe give me more energy to work more. I'm self employed and a lot of the time I just feel too tired to work. So other than looking nice, feeling healthy is the onyl thing I expect. I'm realistic and this is exactly why I chose a healthy goal weight. 150 is a goal I can accomplish if I eat healthy and dont cheat. Thank you for your concern ladies, I agree with everything you're saying. I do need to love myself more, and this is exactly why I am getting the band. I am tired of falling into bad eating disorders and feeling like a failure when it doesn't work. I'm happy with my decision and best part of it all, I am in no rush to lose. One problem with being anorexic was that I ALWAYS wanted it to happen NOW NOW NOW, never had the patience.. which is why I ate so little. I am soooo ready for this band, but I understand and accept that it will take well over a year to lose all my weight. Maggie

I've been through my share of eating disorders, from purging, to starving, to overeating. It started with a boy who said he likes when a girl is really skinny and he can see her ribs. I don't know why I cared so much because I didn't like him so much. I just knew I was not pretty enough for him so I went on a diet. I ate next to nothing, worked out 14 hours a week and took diet pills. At some point I was taking 36 diet pills a day. After this boy broke up with me because I was too fat, I stopped completely. I didnt work out, I didn't starve, and I didn't take my diet pills. I piled on so much weight that I became depressed. Later on I met the wonderful loving boyfriend of mine who is with me for the past 5 years. I was fat and so embarassed of it in front of him that I never wanted to see him. Our relationship was mostly on the phone. I kept promising him that I will see him soon, I just want to lose some more weight first. That's when I became anorexic. 600 calories a day is all I ate, plus phentermine. I worked out too. I loved the quick weight loss and continued for months. Sometimes I would give in to temptation and grab a baked potatoe chip and run home to take exlax. It was sad but I felt good because I was losing and I love how controlling I was over my body. Unfortunately my boyfriend and I broke up due to the stress of my weight and I went off my 600 calorie diet and gained 80 pounds within a few months and slowely 5 lbs a month since then. We are together again, my honey and I.. but I still feel ashamed of my weight. I cant handle being naked with him so I ask himt o keep his eyes closed when we make love. I make him wear a blindfold or just refuse to go see him. I get so hot in the summer that I cant wear big clothing, so for the whole summer I hide in the airconditioned house in long sleeves. It's a distructive lifestyle, but unfortunately for me it is exactly that. It's a lifestyle. I hate that I am fat and that is why I want the band. I told my boyfriend that I am gettign it and he isnt sure if it's a good idea, but I insisted. I can't see him and can't make love to him without feeling so bad I cry after he goes home. I don't understand why he loves me so much if we can't have a normal relationship. Maybe he is just waiting for me to lose the weight and be normal. That is what I keep promising him... when I lose weight everything will be nice. He is buying a house and wants me to live with him. I told him that I wont move in with him until I weight 150lbs. So that is my goal, get the band and slowely lose the weight. I don't want anorexia to be a part of my life anymore. I want to be healthy and weigh 150lbs. I can live with 150. Something most people don't consider is that having anorexia doesn't mean to be skinny, it means to starve yourself in order to lose weight. I've been there, and no one ever knew because I was fat.

Yep, muscle and bone weighs a lot more than fat, so if you've got 50 pounds of lean muscle on you, the BMI calc will count you as obese! That's insane! I work physically every day becayse I own a small cleaning company and I do the cleaning myself. When I tell people what I weigh, they always say 'wow you carry it so well'... not really, I just got muscle hidden underneith my fat tummy and huge bottom. Yes, I do have fat that I need to lose... but I also have muscle which I will never lose and my BMI will never be at 23... I do still have lots to lose, because as much as I would like to think I have a lot of muscle hidden under the fat, it isn't THAT much. Don't feel bad about how much you have to lose, be proud that now you have a tool to make it happen, and it WILL happen for you.

Loopylou, you say that you want to run away and start fresh, leaving your problems behind. Can you tell me (us) the problems you want to run from? Is it a bad friend? Debt? Family that mistreats you? I would love nothing more than to be able move hundreds of miles away from my family, especially my mom. She poops all over my ideas and hopes, critisizes me, doesn't believe I am strong enough to lose weight, pretty enought to find a good husband. She critisizes the way I raise my son, yet I grew up hearing my mom call me names and my dad hitting me just the take his anger out on someone defenceless. Yet... I live here with my mom because I make so little money, I can't afford to be a single mom and live on my own. Sometimes I think that if I just find a husband and move out my life will be better... but when I have a husband and things don't work.. I will dream of divorcing him and moving on.. and where will I go? It's scary and it's hopeless but I force myself to ignore my mom, sometimes snap at her and become an angry bi... just to show her that I too can be hurtful. Sometimes I just stop caring. Depression is possibly the hardest thing to deal with, and I know I am not depressed, but I feel I am on the verge... I have nights when I cry and look at my bottle of phentermine... how nice would it be to swallow the whole thing and fall asleep and never again have to wake up to have my mom hurt me, never again have to worry that I wont make my car payment... but I have a 7 year old boy who would have to live with my mom if I died.. and I wouldn't be here to protect him from the abuse. I would rather live a million years being abused than let someone abuse my son. Maybe you don't have someone to protect like I do, but give your life to someone else. Do you love animals? Become a foster family for abandoned dogs. Are you good at something? Offer to teach it to others for a small fee. Start selling all your junk on ebay and with every penny you earn, pay off those damn debts or buy yourself a nice treat. Love kids? Offer your free babysitting services for teenage moms who go to GED school at night. If you don't have the energy to do any of it, then tell everyone to buzz off and do whatever you want all day except for any of your responsibilities. Please do share the problems you'd like to leave behind... maybe some of us may offer a solution you never thought of before, and it might work!

My BMI is almost 47.

Just in case you do not know what a PB is, it is a 'productive burp' which means that the food you eat will not go down. It's not like vomiting because there is no throwup acid taste, and it's only the amount you just ate, which shouldn't be a lot if you have the band. PB's aren't so bad if you compare them to time you spent a night hugging the toilet because of a drunken night or a bad case of stomach flu.

See if prune juice is on the list of allowed juices. That should help I wouldn't worry about the bowel movement much, it's a liquid phaze so nothing there to poop really. I think the reason why they have you go on 'clear' liquids is because they dont want your stomach to work much during the healing time. Call the nurse at your doctors office and ask though.

letha_g I must say, you have really good advice and great understanding of depression! It it ALL about feeling like a victim and including 'self' in everything.

I think a human mind is not capable of understanding why we are here. The reasons are so far beyond our imagination that no one will ever understand. We think that life and our world is for us, God's children, and because he is within us, we believe we belong to God and this world is his... but there are so many living creatures hidden within earth, the ground, the air, miles under the earth's surface and light years into space. Why question our existance? We are just one creature in billions... why do we matter more than others? There are tiny bacteria that live two miles inside the earth and we never knew why... maybe us humans are tiny bacteria to other beings we are incapable of seeing with our small eyes and small minds? I think we are just a part of nature, too intelligent for our own good, ruining life and earth and slowely killing each other, and purpose of being alive is only to exist in this incredible cycle of life. I probably didn't help, but when i get so down on mysef I feel like crying myself to sleep, I imagine how incredibly huge this world is and all the parts of it I never saw and I wonder... why do I feel so important that I get this upset over my own life?

Lane Bryant has some cute stuff, but it's so hard shopping there for pants. I can try on one pair in 22 and are too tight, but different pants in the same size are loose fitting. I think a plus size store should focus more on the needs of big girls, like needing looser sleeves or us having big booties and not being able to wear low rise jeans. Most of their pants are low rise these days. That's so unflattering, to have the upper part of your belly fold over your jeans. I have a somehwat proportional body, nothing really 'hangs' too much, but sometimes the clothes they have just don't support my round butt or thick arms. The prices are pretty high too. $18 for a pair of panties.... are they kidding? I go to Victorias Secret and buy XL panties 5 for $25. I go to Fashion Bug and buy jeans for half as much as Lane Bryant. The thing I like at Lane Bryant is their jackets. Mostly nice quality and very fashionable. I have two from there and couldn't be happier with them. Another thing I like is the jewelry. Most of us have thicker necks and their necklaces are great length. The bad part again is the price. I go to target and find same quality jewelry for half the cost. All in all, I prefer to shop elsewhere. I like Fashion Bug, Target (don't make fun but I love to try on their maternity shirts, they fit much better), Fredericks of Hollywood, and several online stores.

1. What is your name? Maggie 2. What color shirt are you wearing? Black 3. What are you listening to right now? My son playing gamecube 4. What was the last thing you ate? Apple 5. Do you wish on stars? Yes 6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Pink 7. How is the weather right now? cold and wonderful 8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My boyfriend (who I am very mad at right now) 9. Favorite Sport? Baseball 10. Favorite drink? Fuzzy navel 11. hair color? Light brown 12. Eye color? blue 13. Siblings? 2 brothers 14. Favorite month? October 15. Favorite food? Italian, Olive Garden style. 16. What was the last movie you saw? Serenity 17. Favorite day of the year! The day I get my band. 18. What do you do to vent anger? Tell someone how pissed off I am. 19. What was your favorite toy as a child? my playing house set, plastic cups, plates, utensils etc. 20. Summer or winter? Summer 21. Hugs or Kisses? Kisses 22. Favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate 23. Restaurants or home cooking? Restaurant because it's yummy and I don't have to work, but I cook at home. 24. Will everyone care enough to respond? Yep 25. When was the last time you cried? When my boyfriend pissed me off. 26. What is under your bed? Nothing 27. How long have you been a member of Lapband Talk? Maybe two weeks 28. What did you do last night? Went to the grocery store. 29. What are you afraid of? Spiders and ghosts 30. Favorite car? BMW 31. Favorite flower? Freesia 32. How many keys on your ring? 2 33. How long have you been at your current job? I'm self employed for the past year or so. 34. Favorite day of the week? Friday 35. What did you do on your birthday? Went shopping with a friend and had hot wings at Hooters. 36. How many states have you lived in? 1 37.How many cities/towns have you lived in? 2 38. What is your favorite form of exercise? Walking 39.Your favorite store for bargains? Target and ebay 40. Wasn't this fun? Yes