I was just reading a thread about someone who is worried about letting the doctors see all of her fat during her surgery, and it got me to thinking about my all time most embarrassing moment. Here goes (and I CANNOT believe I'm writing this...)

I was giving birth to my first child and the babies' heart rate dropped. I was of course dressed in one of those lovely hospital gowns that opens up the back. The nurse had me turn over onto my hands and knees to see if it would help increase my son's heart rate. After a very embarrassing moment where I could tell I was exposed she covered my 300 lb naked arse with a sheet.

After a few minutes about 15 doctors and nurses were in the room and a woman was calmly telling me that I was going to have an emergency c-section. Before I could blink I was being wheeled down to the OR, naked butt still to the sky and covered with a thin sheet. I could see just enough through my tear-stained glasses to realize that I was passing a crowded waiting room when I felt the sheet fly up to my neck. The constant chatter of the people wheeling me down the hallway immediately fell into a stunned silence. It seemed to take forever for one of them to pull the sheet down... guess my booty was mesmerizing. :-)

Thinking about this got me thinking that it would be fun to hear everybody's most embarrassing moment. Let's see if you can top mine!

Well I have had 3 babies, I guess you dont get embarrassed by much after that.

But honestly I'm not ashamed of my body. I dont think its all that bad but I think I'm kidding myself. I think I'm OK looking and I'm generally a happy and confident person.

But we've got a black tie dinner tonight and I hate those with a passion. I have to go dressed like someone's grandma - its not my body so much as that I cannot dress in a way that I think represents the real me, kwim?

When I was in the 5th grade we had an inside recess do to rain. Well some of my classmates decided to pull out the Twister game. I decided it would be fun to play. Well I ripped the crotch of my favorite jeans out. I proceeded to tell my teacher what happened. She sent me and another girl to the bathroom. She told me to remove my jeans and she would mend them for me. I begged her to let me call my mom to bring me another pair...but she said no. I even asked if I could sit in the office for the rest of the day....she said no. So I did as she asked me too. My friends later told me that she did in fact sit at her desk and mended my ripped out jeans. I was humilated!

I think most, actually ALL, my high school sport lessons are definitelt up there.

The only other thing that always sticks in my mind is being about 4 or 5 and running in to a room, turning around and farting at who I was expecting to be my friend, and was actually her parents!!! I was horified.

Rachel

About 5 or 6 years ago I went for a job interview in this huge VA hospital. After the interview I had to use the restroom. I left the RR & proceeded to walk down a long hall passing many people & getting on an elevator. In the elevator with me was a very nice gentleman who asked me how I was doing & so on & so forth all the while with a huge smile on his face. I got off the elevator thinking wow what a great place to work. Everyone is so friendly. While walking through the huge, crowded lobby a very nice nurse walked up & said, "Your skirt is tucked into your shorts." ........I took it as a bad omen & turned down the job. Thank God I always wore shorts under my skirts & dresses! To this day when I go on an interview this memory makes me laugh!!!

I had this dream date with a guy from "Palm Beach" I had been dying to go out with. So that day I went and had a set of fake nails put on. I go on the date and afterwards we relax on his very expensive couch to have a snifter of brandy, Well I am trying to be all posh, so I decide I will warm my brandy.....so I grab a match..and strike it... all the time we are having a witty conversation..la de da and suddenly his eyes got very big and he became silent with a rather interesting somewhat intense look on his face....I thought he must be ready to kiss me! He leaned in and said.....YOUR HAND IS ON FIRE! My fake fingernails had caught on fire trying to light the stupied brandy! He then used the cushions of his very expensive couch to beat my hand out!! After the smoke and the scent of burning flesh cleared the room he took me to the ER. He said he would call! I wonder why I never heard from him again? HA!!!

Terrilen, that is HILARIOUS!! Thanks for sharing everyone!

Isn't life grand......too funny.

I must begin by saying my father's name is Richard. My older cousin was named after his uncles (my dad & another brother), so his first name is Richard also. My brother later came along and my parents go and make him a Junior (Richard Jr).

In my twenties I was an outside sales person for a forms (printing) company calling on all all kinds of corporations. One of my favorites was OWL--a gool ol' boy equipment, rock & developing company that drew most of its executives from the former blue-color construction ranks. I spent a lot of time there and helped them design a lot of forms to compliment their workflow. One summer all the OWL employees were excited about a guy who had headed the operatons in Saudi Arabia that they were bringing in to be the new VP at the Irvine corp headquarters. He was in his 50s and kind of a gruf Walter Mattheaw type.

I came in one day soon after he started and walked by as a couple of guys were in his BIG, fancy executive office. They saw me and called me in to introduce us as I often worked w/ the heads of departments. As we were shaking hands one of them said,

"Now don't you let ol' Dick Hogan give you a hard time."

To which I blithely smiled and replied, "Oh don't worry we'll get along fine--my family is FULL of Dicks!"

As their mouths DROPPED in shock at what had come out of my sweet American-girl looking mouth, I realized what I had said, felt the blood rush to my face and for the first and last time in my entire life was absolutely STUCK SPEECHLESS. I could not say one single word. I just had to shake my blazing head, turn and practically run out the door. It wasn't until I got to my car that I broke out into something between sobbing and laughing.

Luckily Dick Hogan had a sense of humor and we became great friends.

This wasn't really embarrassing but more funny. We have to wear dockers and polos for our uniforms at work ( I work in a 911 Communications Center) I have so many pairs of dockers over the years some of them wear thin.

I was at the vending machine alone when I bent down to retrieve my Hostess Cupcakes and I heard a rip like no other! Sure enough I went to the bathroom and completely blew the ass out of my pants! I just found it ironic that I happened to be bending down to get cupcakes at the time ------is that a sign or what?? Keep your ass off the cupcakes!

Oooh Oooh. Just thought of an embarassing moment that happened a few months ago at the gyno.

I get really nervous at the gyno, just because I'm getting all naked up on a table and spreadin my business to the world. My doctor is a lovely man and puts me at ease - but still no matter what I will always be nervous. I was sitting naked on the table with the paper all under me that they tear off after each visit, trying to adjust my paper gown to keep a little modesty when I'm starting to sweat in between my thighs and nether region about the upcoming exam.

Well I could feel the paper sticking to my ass and backs of my thighs and was trying to figure out how to fix it when in walks my gyno and his nurse! He asks me to lay down and I did and tried to discreetly pull the paper away but it was stuck to me! I could feel it stuck to my thighs and inbetween my butt cheeks. He asks me to scoot down to get my feet in the stirrups and when I did I heard the paper rip away from the rest as most of it was stuck to me from the sweat!

Poor man, bless his heart - he actually tried to help by pulling some of it away but it was soaked in sweat so it was only coming off in little pieces! After they left and I could get dressed I just kept pulling off tiny pieces of ripped paper stuck to me. THAT WAS SO EMBARASSING!

bump anyone?

Hate to show my ignorance here... but what the heck is "bumping" and how do you do it? I've always wanted to know...

Well I could feel the paper sticking to my ass and backs of my thighs and was trying to figure out how to fix it when in walks my gyno and his nurse!

OMG that happens to me EVERY time. It's gotten to the point where I just tell the gyno "I'm stuck on the paper" and she holds it down while I peel myself off. Being fat does really suck in the whole "sweaty" department.

Hate to show my ignorance here... but what the heck is "bumping" and how do you do it? I've always wanted to know...

I think it's bumping the thread back to the first page by replying to it.

omg that is soooo funny!!!!!!