waterwoman

I am June 7. Revising from band to bypass. Had the band out in March and looking forward to finally losing weight for good! Good luck to us!

@@AmysShrinking and @Anilyn I am 64 and have struggled with depression all my life. I'm currently very stable on Cymbalta. My research shows that I should be OK continuing with Cymbalta after surgery - but until I live it, it's hard to believe. Keeping fingers crossed for all of us

I'm one of the lucky ones - my surgeon doesn't require pre-op diet. Trying to keep busy to distract myself from the fact that we are just 2 weeks away. I'm both nervous and excited. Good luck to all of us!

I am June 7. Revising from band to bypass. Had the band out in March and looking forward to finally losing weight for good! Good luck to us!

@@Twuzzy, you and I have the 7th! Are you starting to get nervous?

I think we're far more critical of our body than most men could ever be...
If a man is taking you on a date he's seen what you look like... When it's time to get busy, I never came across a man who said oh you have a stretch mark let's just forget it lol...
Just to add you can always do things to make yourself feel better about your body, get a wax, buy some matching bra and panties, get some new makeup etc...... Men get into what turns them on... Men please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of this.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I plan to keep my surgery a secret (just not interested in other people's opinion who don't know my struggle). Most people are used to me dieting and exercising. Only my mom knows and if I'm ever in a relationship again, I'll let him know.
Sent from my SM-G925T using the BariatricPal App

Regardless of the situation, it hurts to be left out...and that's what this is about. Just don't turn to food because you feel bad. That's how many of us cope...even with our tools.
If you can't shrug this 'dis' off, find out why you were left off the invite. Resolve this rather than deflect it.

Stop speculating...
Ask...
It could be any number of things..
But if you wanna know - ask...

I'm June 7. Revising from lap-band which was removed on March 16. The process has taken well over a year. It feels a little surreal now that it's really getting close.

I'm June 7. Revising from lap-band which was removed on March 16. The process has taken well over a year. It feels a little surreal now that it's really getting close.

Yesterday I took off my shirt, left on my jeans and belt and stepped in front of the mirror half naked for the first time in a long time. Although I've come across quite a few women that haven't scarred, my incisions are a dark brown, darker than my skin. I can see them without my glasses. All of the places where my stomach was full and round have started to ripple where the fat is gone and skin is there. I stared at my grandmother's breasts when I was younger, thinking thank god that isn't me. My breasts are slack in their cups. My arms don't look like they have floaty devices on under my shirt, but if I hold my arms out I hear Bette Midler singing Wind Beneath My Wings. For some reason, I thought I'd feel different.
I thought I'd have loose skin, but not like this. I thought I might lose hair, but not this thin up top. I thought I'd go down clothing sizes, but not mismatched (shirt size down, waist down, Buns and thighs and golden girdle stagnate). For some reason, I thought I'd be the person in the videos or online forums or tv and when I wasn't (which was yesterday) I was dreadfully sad.
I looked at my body and saw all of the same things that I saw before, if not worse. But what magnified it was having interactions with friends I hadn't seen in a long time. Specifically, old flames. To them I have done a drastic change, I am literally the same weight now that I was in high school, only the weight isn't focused in my midsection so I am more curvaceous. And it's a mixed bag of nuts when it comes to compliments or being asked out, because for some psycho crazy reason I find compliments or being asked out as an insult. Every week I go outside I am hit on. Before the surgery my male admires were as numbered as fruit stands in the middle of the salt flats. I literally say no to men (even if I find them attractive) out of some weird vindictive thing. Then I get home and eat Peanut Butter (then feel bad about eating Peanut Butter and then start counting the calories, breaking out a calculator and making sure I don't go over my fat for the day). Next thing I know, I'm at home watching Bridget Jones Diary, jealous that Bridget at least had a fling. Also kind of jealous because she could drink vodka without dying.
Then it dawned on me. I had reverted entirely to my old way of living. Being ashamed of my body, not exercising, not feeling like I was good enough for men, feeling sorry for myself, and getting stuck in a resentment for a life that has already gone by. Not focusing on the life that is still moving forward. So, I called my old male friend and we met up.
I know men shouldn't validate me...but men do validate me. And when he saw me and I saw him and he gave me that look, it made me feel a certain kind of way. And I told him everything, literally down to the wind beneath my wings, and he listened. And he said, "So."
And I was confused. I asked him so what.
He said, "So. Who cares?"
I thought that was awfully mean.
Then he added, "No one cares about what you see when you see yourself in the mirror. All that matters is what they see on the outside. I don't even mean just your body though. I mean, like, people can see what kind of person you are. You know the reason why I wanted to be your friend?"
I thought it was because I was funny and nerdy and he was too (which now he is hot).
He said he wanted to be my friend because he thought I was attractive but was too afraid to ask me out. So, he approached me as a friend. And he said what made him like me the most was how I was with other people. When he was around me, he said that everything else would disappear when I laughed. He said my voice was soft. The way I touched his arm all playful made him mush in the knees. He said he knew I was overweight, knew I was frumpy, but for some reason none of that bothered him because it didn't matter. He says attraction is attraction just as confidence is confidence. He says some people just have it and I have it, I just choose to ignore it because I listen to everyone else but myself (as I listened to him).
And I thought about it...I must've had confidence. Enough confidence to have half my stomach chopped off. I must've had enough confidence to take off my shirt and look in the mirror. I must've had confidence to know when to put the peanut butter down. I was confident enough to turn someone down, confident that I didn't need to be validated by a man (even though, I repeat, this is still a contradiction). I'm confident enough to learn to be more confident?
I just wanted to say confidence one more time. Such a confident word, that is.
I'm not perfect. I shouldn't strive to be imperfect. I should work towards being confident and not content. I'm still working on these things, you know.
Anyone else struggling?

I am June 7. Revising from band to bypass. Had the band out in March and looking forward to finally losing weight for good! Good luck to us!

Just checking in, really trying to stay consistent on the forums here seems to help me stay accountable. I am 22 months post op and was doing great at my lowest (although still not my goal), then i gained 10 lbs during a SUPER stressful two semesters of grad school and starting a new job, and switching that job from days to nights, and just life in general.
Because I haven't seen my surgeon in about 9 months and didn't have the option to see my usual nutrition clinician (new insurance doesn't cover their services), I took the steps today to make an appointment with my surgeon in June AND called for a NUT appointment with the bariatric clinic in a nearby town that my insurance covers.
I had every intention of starting a 5 day pouch test too, but having just accepted a huge promotion in my new job, my coworkers are giving me a big giant potluck tomorrow night and even though I'll eat healthy, i didn't want to stand there with a shake and turn my nose up at their efforts. So, 5 day pouch reset starting sunday night...
I would love any input as far as pouch test success, getting back on track, etc. I currently have 10 lbs to get back to my lowest, and about 25 to my goal!! I CAN DO THIS.

Use of inhaled substances (be it nicotine, marijuana, etc) can affect oxygenation. And while it's technically a hallucinogenic drug, its effects are mainly depressant. These two factors are why it's not advised to do so before surgery, because both can have an effect on anesthesia. If you smoke, let your surgeon or anesthesiologist know, even though it may not seem like a big deal. Complications are rare, but when they do arise during surgery, an issue with how anesthesia interacts with the body is very often the culprit.
If anxiety is your reason for smoking before surgery, a doctor can prescribe anti-anxiety medication for you. Not because it is superior to weed, but because they know the exact amount/consistency you're getting with a clear understanding of risks/etc, and have long-studied ways of ensuring the medications you receive during and after surgery won't react badly to it.
Lastly, I'm just a nurse, so I can't tell you what to do. But I can tell you that your doctor will have a MUCH better understanding of your specific risks and options than us strangers on the internet. Work with them. Be your own advocate and don't be afraid to be brutally honest with the medical team. They are there to help you!

When you ask your surgeon and he/she advices you "not to", "will you" anyway?
There's your answer, friend.

I do not have any regrets. I feel great and have from the beginning. I was walking the halls of the hospital the next day and walking on the beach just a couple of days later. I have fought my weight my entire life and for once I'm losing at a constant rate. I eat everything, just not a lot. I try to get in a good amount of Protein, but other than that I eat what I want. I was tracking my food, but just stopped because I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about food. I'm am trying now to listen to my body and feed it what it needs. Sent from my VS880 using the BariatricPal App

First of all, welcome.
Second, you're funny! And smart. I'm glad you're here.
Third, you're going to be OK. You're just going on an adventure that has a very happy ending.
Yes, there will be a few tough days in the beginning. And yes, you'll learn how to eat and drink differently and better and slower. And all that will change. Many times. (There are many phases to this whole dealio.)
But you'll be encouraged because you're a data-hound and, obviously, social media savvy. There's so much data available to you and so much support available to you here and elsewhere online.
I don't suffer from anxiety, so I don't know if this post is helping at all. But if you could go ahead and translate your anxiety into excitement, that'd be great.

As mentioned in my profile, I currently have a lapband in place. I am having complications so I am looking at my options, along with familiarizing myself to my ins co requirements. However, I also know my surgeon's staff have the approval process down pat. They had my lapband approved in one day. Even the legal advocates like Lindstrom will say one of the top reasons procedures are denied is not meeting criteria or not providing sufficient documentation.
The insurance industry is so heavily regulated by both the state and federal governments, that neither would allow the nefarious process of compensation based on denials. I, too, have been in the insurance industry for almost 30 years. I have assisted folks in understanding their Bariatric benefits and what materials they need. I have seen the lack of the dr office not wanting to provide that info and dealing with frustrated members. I'm fat,too, so, my empathy is with the member. I helped them finally get their surgery covered and didn't get fired for getting the surgery covered and costing money! Instead. I got a pat on the back for helping our member and making them happy.

We can argue stats and studies all day long, but in the end it doesn't matter for my success or failure. Whether 200 people in Italy or 20,000 people in the US lost weight and kept it off or gained it all back has nothing to do with ME. I control what I eat and whether or not I maintain my loss. With a few exceptions of certain medical conditions and/or medications that may affect weight gain, every individual controls their own success/failure when it comes to the numbers on the scale.
IN general, Regain comes with poor food choices and bad eating habits. There is a big gap between the surgeons responsibility for a successful surgery and the patients responsibility for lifestyle changes. That gap needs to be filled with nutritional education and psychological support. Having a VSG and then eating Oreos or drinking alcohol in excess 5 years out is no different than getting a lung transplant and smoking cigarettes. Who's fault is it when that patient dies of emphysema/cancer/COPD?
As a measure of success, of course they are going to look at weight as the main criteria rather than the comorbidities. After all it's called Weight Loss Surgery, not Diabetes Cure Surgery or Blood Pressure Reduction Surgery.

I am a band to bypass revision and my surgeon requires the 3 month wait between removing the band and doing the bypass.

We were fat. We maybe still are fat. It's a process. It sounds to me like she was kind to you when you were larger. She knows you've lost a lot of weight and yet you are still large. Might be she is trying to reconcile in her head just how large you once were. We really have to try and not be thin skinned about the truth of our size. Most people are not cruel. The ones who are need a kick in the ass. She wasn't being cruel.
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I'm getting the Error 502 Bad Gateway indicating a Host Error (Website offline) when I try to read the thread - Gastric Bypass Forums - Sixties - No one in the sixties? started by GrannyKathy on Oct 8, 2012.
Thanks

Right now you are mourning a DEATH the death of the strong relationship you had with food. You can't eat like you did and may never(hopefully) be able to again. You know what your aunt and Mom went through; and you chose to have the surgery. What is done, is done. Move forward with a positive attitude and use your surgery as the great tool that it is to seek a healthier, and yes happier life. Be an adult. suck it up and DO IT!! You know that you can.

I understand where you're coming from. We are surgery date buddies, but I had the sleeve. However, I only recently have begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a lot of physical pain as well for a long time. It was miserable. My mental health suffered greatly because of it, not to mention my best friend and coping mechanism, food, was gone. I have started seeing a therapist and am feeling better.
I won't tell you "it gets better" but I will tell you that we are both still "newbies" and we have a long road to understanding how our new bodies work. Also, I suggest doing all of the research that you can on any of your pain/medical issues. Have you looked in to medicinal marijuana for the nausea? There are forms of it that have the THC removed so it's legal and it doesn't get you high, if you are opposed to that. It works wonders for people going through chemo which causes intense nausea/vomiting.
I HIGHLY encourage speaking to a therapist. Without fail, the day before my therapy appointments I tell my friend, "I don't think I'm going to continue seeing my therapist after this. I don't think i need it!" And without fail, I leave the appointment having gained some insight and understanding in to how my mind works and how to cope. It's been invaluable to me. There were days that I couldn't get out of my bed. I didn't shower for nearly a week once. I had no desire to eat, sobbed uncontrollably and multiple times I thought, "I wish I were dead." I got the help I needed and it's been a huge change for me.
Go to your surgeon and have a long, serious, intense talk with them about your medical problems and how you feel about the surgery. They probably have resources and options for you that none of us can suggest. Utilize WLS groups, there's nothing more powerful than a group of people who have been through the same situation coming together to lift each other up.
Please, I really hope you read through these messages and understand that we're not saying these things to force you to think "my RNY was the best decision ever!!" If you never feel that way, then okay. No one should fault you for it. You're right, this is not the easy way out, but it's your way now and you can either utilize all of the options that are available to you, listen to the advice of the people who have been in your shoes or can understand your struggle, and maybe help yourself to see that light too.
Good luck, I hope you keep us updated.