I really would like to keep my surgery private and only include my husband and daughter. I'm not wanting to tell mom and others. How do you handle this and family functions? My mom lives to eat.

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To tell, or not to tell: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing their opinions? To agree: to disagree?....

This has been a heated debate by some members on both sides.

Thankfully Shakespeare lived before WLS.

Edited May 2, 201610 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

Personally, I have been very open about my decision to have the sleeve. I knew if I wasn't, people were going to talk either way. I just went ahead and took the fun out of their guessing and talking behind my back. I could also care less what people think because I made this decision for me, myself, and I.

To each their own though, if you decide to keep it private that is completely your business. If anyone ask why you're not eating as much, just tell them that you have changed your lifestyle and are eating less. Or don't say anything at all, you don't have to tell them anything.

Good Luck on your journey!

I have been open with family and friends and less so with everyone else. I live in a small town and people on the street stop me and comment on my new size. I just say "Thanks" and if they persist and need to know why/how -- if they are not close friends, I just say "I did lose a bunch of weight -- Thanks again for noticing". If they still persist, I just look at them and repeat "hey, Thanks for noticing" -- all but the most persistent nosey people get the idea... but pretty much just use humor with people. I am a shrink and will often just say "the shrink shrunk" or "Now I am petite" -- most people are just happy for me. I have found that family are the rudest --- last weekend, at a large family gathering, a loud cousin said in front of everyone "So, John, exactly how much weight have you lost?" Aaarrrggghhh. Family!

I'm a fairly private person. My family and close friends (very few by the way) know, but I don't have a large family and don't see them often. I live in a very small town so I'm sure it's gotten around although I don't socialize much and keep to my self. If it's someone I don't know well that comments about my weight, I just say thank you. If it's another over weight person or acquaintance from back when our kids were in school, I may go ahead and tell them that I had surgery.

I do have to admit though at 18 months out, I'm not near as gun shy to talk about it. I'm not one of those BIG success stories either though. I am happy about what I have lost though!

Edited May 2, 201610 yr by brown eyed gal

I guess I dislike the mindset that this decision is the easy way out. I've lost 80 lb by diet pills, eating 1000 calories, then weight lifting 45 min a day and walking 4 to 8 miles a day in addition to my daily steps. Working out 2 hours a day 5 days a week is not sustainable. Over 10 years it crept up. I've been to many Dr's and am told my Hashimoto's and genetics makes weight stubborn. I don't think this is the easy way out by any means though.

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no, it is not the "easy way out" although if there WAS an easy way out I'd take it in a heartbeat and not think TWICE about it.

and it is a hell of alot easier than trying to loose before surgery. it's a powerful tool. but it is not easy to change your whole life and realize it's not a diet, it's not going to end. this is forever.

Only my immediate family and two very close friends know about my sleeve. I got sleeved on September and was worried about Thanksgiving. We always have around 20 people. What i found was that at thanksgiving or just going out to eat with some people, people are generally too involved in the conversations or their own food to notice how much or how little you eat. As long as you have a plate in front of you with some food on it most people won't notice.

If someones does happen to say something you can say something like I'm trying to eat less or I'm watching what I eat...not lies

Someone asked me recently how i lost so much weight. All i said is that i have been eating less. It's totally the truth

I haven't told anybody but my daughters and my husband and I don't intend to. When I was on Medifast only ate 500 calories a day so they wouldn't think anything at all if I didn't eat at family events.

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I didn't tell my inlaws! They are too negative and I know I would hear all sorts of bad things and negativity. I am happy I didn't share with them. Loving live.

I have only told my immediate family and none of them live nearby. They all love me the way I am. They think this is an extreme solution, but are willing to support me - for which I am grateful.

.

I think that the choice to have this surgery (sleeve, scheduled for 5/26/16) is very personal, so there are not a lot of people I've told about this. There are also a couple of people at work who have had the surgery, but I am not comfortable approaching them with questions, because as I said, I think it's very personal. I've told a few people, but not too many. My cousin had RNY about a year ago, so I talk with her the most. Of course my husband and daughter know, and I've told my boss (with whom I'm friends as well as co-workers) and 2 friends. My brother and sister know, too. My sister, of course, laughs and says I took the easy way out- but she could do it herself. Oh well. She lived on candy, soda, and butter for 4 years post-divorce, so eliminating those things helped her lose the weight she'd gained eating those things! That's not my life or metabolism. I am currently on day 4 of my pre-op liquid diet and am not really a happy camper, but I'm fine other than wanting to eat something... anything... preferable a piece of steak! LOL!

I plan to keep my surgery a secret (just not interested in other people's opinion who don't know my struggle). Most people are used to me dieting and exercising. Only my mom knows and if I'm ever in a relationship again, I'll let him know.

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