LessOfMe0503

I'm so sorry about the whole situation. You and your family will be in my prayers.
I wouldn't call them out publicly. Although I think I would tell them one on one that you are hurt by their actions. They could have handled that many different ways, but they didn't handle it well. However, even the best Christian makes mistakes and is worthy of forgiveness. Afterall, isn't that why Jesus died on the cross?
Then I would work hard at forgiving them and letting it go. You will be able to focus more on your family if it's not eating you up inside.

Cut the carbs.

No feeling like I waddle when I walk

No... I think this is having surgery. You have had your body sliced into and a foreign object put in. You should feel bad. The worst for me was the gas, and nothing helped but walking. The day after surgery I took little walks from my recliner to the kitchen and back- 20 steps total. Each day I walked a little more and a little more often. Eventually, the gas will pass.

Does she eat like that all the time or was it a one time birthday meal?
Either way, I would steer clear of directly addressing it. Surgery is a physical fix, not a mental one- I'm only 5 days out but the mental battles have been big.
Perhaps instead of addressing her shortcomings, enlist her help in your journey. Bring up things you are worried about and ask what her surgeon/NUT said.

Does she eat like that all the time or was it a one time birthday meal?
Either way, I would steer clear of directly addressing it. Surgery is a physical fix, not a mental one- I'm only 5 days out but the mental battles have been big.
Perhaps instead of addressing her shortcomings, enlist her help in your journey. Bring up things you are worried about and ask what her surgeon/NUT said.

I have certainly had my share of "bad" foods since my surgery and if you caught me on one of those days, at one of those meals, you might think I'm a big fat failure as well. But I actually eat on plan 90% of the time and work out like crazy and always get my 100 grams of Protein in. ALWAYS.
So seeing her eat maybe less than perfect food on her birthday doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. Now, if she really is eating that way every day and not getting her Protein in and not working out at all, I might start to worry for her.

My advice would be to mind your business and to keep your thoughts about her food choices to yourself. I regularly go out to eat and order normal food. I, like your friend, eat maybe 1/8 the meal which almost never adds up to more than 200 calories if even that. The majority of the time I eat healthily, but the rest of the time I eat what I want to. I have maintained under goal for several months and ultimately it's about calories in and calories out. There is nothing wrong with having Mexican food, especially when you eat less in calories than a person is eating who orders a healthy entree and eats the entire thing.
I can also say that if anyone ever made a comment about what I was ordering I would feel EXTREMELY self conscious about eating in front of them to the point that I would likely avoid meals with them. I think your intentions may be good, but when it comes to food and people with food problems, the only person who should be talking to them about it is their doctor. They have a mirror, a scale, and likely the knowledge to understand their food choices. When someone else makes a comment it just embarrasses them, hurts them, and will make them defensive and closed off even when your intentions were good.

Does she eat like that all the time or was it a one time birthday meal?
Either way, I would steer clear of directly addressing it. Surgery is a physical fix, not a mental one- I'm only 5 days out but the mental battles have been big.
Perhaps instead of addressing her shortcomings, enlist her help in your journey. Bring up things you are worried about and ask what her surgeon/NUT said.

Does she eat like that all the time or was it a one time birthday meal?
Either way, I would steer clear of directly addressing it. Surgery is a physical fix, not a mental one- I'm only 5 days out but the mental battles have been big.
Perhaps instead of addressing her shortcomings, enlist her help in your journey. Bring up things you are worried about and ask what her surgeon/NUT said.

My kids are 10, 8, 5, and 4. I told them that mommy was having tummy surgery and that some of my tummy would be removed. That I will have owies on my belly, and will be in some pain. Plus I won't be able to eat/drink much. The older two have a much better understanding of why I had the surgery and what I can/not eat. The younger two are more conscientious of my belly and that food and I don't always get along. I try to be honest with my children and explain at a level appropriate to them.

My NUT is pretty decent. In my one on one, she asked what my normal meals are, what worries I had about nutrition after surgery, and gave me suggestions. During the pre op class, she was rather scripted. One lady had tons of questions about could she change this and that and she kept saying, this is the suggested plan... but the 2 of them spent some time in the corner after class so maybe they were working through it.
I wonder if some programs have decisions made for them by someone e higher up. For example, I'm a teacher and many decisions that are made about education have nothing to do with children, child development or educational research- but rather someone way up the line made a decision and I have to work within those boundaries. I know it can't just be in education that that happens, so maybe it is happened to nutritionists as well?

Yes! Go girl! I'm slowly coming out of the momma Jean Water park days with you!!

For the first time since my surgery, I took my kids to a Water park.
First and foremost, I was always one of those fatties that forced myself to "keep up" with "normal weight" people so I never visibly showed how hard it was to walk the park and climb the (freaking endless) steps to the tops of the rides. That said, by the end of the day, I used to be so exhausted I didn't want to move the next day.
This time was SO MUCH different. Never once was I out of breath. Never once did I dread squeezing my ass into a tube. I wasn't the fastest down to the bottom and my thighs didn't rub themselves into misery just because I was wet and huffing along with the group. lunch time wasn't an absolute RELIEF like it used to be -- instead, it was just lunch.< /p>
I am fairly certain I looked fine in my swimsuit and I wasn't the slow one in the group. There was one ride where the entire group had to step on a scale to ensure we didn't surpass maximum rate for the tube and I didn't sweat it for a second. In fact, I happily jumped on the scale and didn't think twice about someone seeing my weight.
I am no longer "new" to the WLS experience, but this was a great thing. For real.

As a single young guy that has never been in a relationship longer then a year, I really have no business commenting but I'm going to anyway . All I wanted to say is that him trying to sabotage you could be his own insecurity. He may be afraid that when you gain more self confidence as the weight comes off that you may be unwilling to deal with his controlling demeanor. The divorce statistic of people after weight loss is high for a reason, we are a lot less willing to put up with BS!

So the party went very well, and even the 2 "rudies" were well behaved! And quiet and respectful, for the most part, even though they were too chicken to face me! We had about 25 folks, young and old, who came and had a great time, a few tears, lots of food and fun with the yard games...including "combat croquet"...you gotta try it!!!!
Dave's last chemo before surgery is this coming week, and he has a bad hand infection. Hopefully we can get that addressed tomorrow morning. Then, come September - and we don't yet know the date - is the surgery. He's doing well, but frail-looking, and, of course, fatigued. This last chemo will have one less drug, so maybe that will ease up on some of the side effects. Hope so.
I thank you all for your continuing prayers, and VERY helpful advice! I will keep you up to date as things progress. May the Good Lord truly bless all of you and all you do.....love, Jenifer

This is the oddest post I have ever seen. Got to page 5 and just gave up trying to understand this.

Aside from being healthy, I cannot wait until my thighs no longer rub together when I walk! I cannot remember a time that they didn't do that.

Im looking for to ovulating and getting pregnant

Sad as it may be....yes!
Omg, I say all the time, I'm looking forward to my arms growing. People look at me odd. But, it's true. Losing weight=wiping with ease.

Way too many to list them all, but for a few; shopping and clothes, traveling (the whole plane seat thing as well as having the energy to actually DO thing while traveling), I have always wanted to sky dive or bungee jump, not declining invitations to go out just because I don't want to be seen the way I am, not always being the driver when going out because I know that my seatbelt fits but others might not, not being exhausted after very little exertion, going to the beach in summer, like I said, way to many to list at once.

Maybe for some of us this is more serious than you consider it to be, as for me I have a life and family, and if I wanna see a clown we have 3 circuses that come by every year, your posts are detrimental to others and you need help, I work in psych and even though you try to cover it up by using blunt humor I can see right through your facade, you are so unhappy it makes me worry bout you, I'm not trying to debate you, I know how conversations like this turn out, problem is when you come back defending yourself it's sign number 2, so get help, don't make us your company or audience.......

I'm a single mom so when I went through the pre op phase, I stocked my kitchen with foods my son could prepare himself- sandwiches, Cereal, lunchables, popcorn, etc. He survived and I wasn't tempted.
Post op, my mom came down while I recovered. She fed him and fixed some things for the freezer til I am up and eating.

On another post, someone mentioned Poshmark.com. it is pretty cool - like eBay but only clothes and you can search by brand. I have bought some smaller stuff and I am going to try to sell some of my older stuff and see how it goes.

@@mizzlane13 Easy....I made my husband do it and I stayed in my room at all meal times with my handy dandy shake, out of sight out of mind. See that's him! Still alive and so are the kids! That's kinda how he looked during the whole process lol!!!